Partners Adult Daughter

[Bernie54]

Been with current partner 3 years, his adult daughter (20’s) moved back in with him recently. She has complained about us having sex (in our bedroom) we had radio on and was very very quiet (it was at night) she sent her dad nasty text messages - referencing both of us - saying we were disgusting and that it’s not fair on her.

I am trying to work out how we manage this as she is here every night, so we can’t abstein permanently ? I do understand - but we were very very quiet and respectful but her room is next door so can’t guarantee her hearing nothing. Are we being unreasonable ? Any suggestions? Don’t want to cause any problems between dad and daughter.

Point out that it would be more worrying if you weren't

Well that would be impossible as they are both dead! And please don’t judge me.

Often surprised? 😊

On the plus side, we’re all judging the poster that thought that an appropriate comment to make!

I’d rather hear that than the type of comment you think it appropriate to make.

You'd literally rather hear your parents shagging than read the word 'fuck' on an online forum? Takes all sorts I suppose 😂

He doesn't drive is a fact.

Why, is of no relevance to the issue.

Test it out when shes not there. One of you go in her room and the other bounce around a bit on the bed to simulate it. Maybe the noise is echoing through the floor or walls that you are not aware of!! Might help to then find a solution like a rubber mat under the bed or less creaky springs. If you were being quiet then I would think there is noise carrying through to her room that you are not aware of.

Hang on.

No one has said a word to or in front of you about this. You only know she complained to her dad about not wanting to hear him having sex because you snooped on their private text messages and in those messages his response to her complaint was to remind her that it's his house not hers.

The answer to your "what do I do?" question is that you pretend you never snooped and continue on being reasonably respectful about sex noise in a family home. Your partner didn't bring it up to you and he didn't ask you to be quieter or make any change - he's not asking you to make this a shared problem, so let him deal with his daughter in his home.

I didn’t snoop 🤣 I was laid next to him as the messages came through I could see them, hardly snooping.

Did he engage you in any conversation about the texts or ask you verbally or nonverbally to read them?

Reading someone's texts over their shoulder or similar is indeed snooping.

Yes I guess it is I suppose. Never mind, will just ignore for now, see what happens

It’s not the word, it’s the sentence chosen and the person that chose them. So, there you go again, proving my (fucking) point.

Or, could his daughter stay in / move into your empty house?

I’d think “Oops, awkward” and then I’d put earbuds in and forget about it, because I’m a grown adult.

People are entitled to enjoy a shag in their own bloody house. This isn’t the adult daughter’s family home. She’s moved into her dad’s house, in which she never lived, at the age of 24. Her father isn’t an elderly man; he’s only in 50s. Of course he’s going to fuck his girlfriend. She cannot start telling him what he can and can’t do in his home.

😂 Why the fuck should the OP give her home to a 24-year-old woman who is a) no relation to her and b) is really obnoxious to/about her?

This forum is fucking insane sometimes.

Are you insane?! It’s only empty until my daughter is back from university which is where she will stay in her long holidays

Hasn't he given the ick by now? A grown man unable to come to your house so you can only have sex in the same house as his daughter?

That’s my choice about my house I prefer it that way and she only moved in 2 months ago, we have been together 3 years

Not at all. They have an issue. Him driving could help resolve it.

I don’t think your sex is as quiet as you think

Why do you prefer him not coming to your house? That seems very casual after 3 years, do you see some kind of future together? Because you don't want him at your house, you can't have sex at his house, you don't want to stay at hotels... what's the point?

And does not care she can hear it that is really revolting

Why her some noise cancelling headphones.

This

He can’t drive
Has two children by different women
Has sex that his daughter can hear with a new random

What a catch