Colleague sent me message by mistake

[Islandhopper10]

Our team work remotely but we get together quarterly in person. Yesterday was a meeting in the office in the morning followed by a social so it was casual dress.

I was messaging a colleague earlier back and forth about work matters and he sent something really random and then instantly deleted it but I saw it pop up as a notification so read it.

It said ‘she knew what she was doing in those leggings’ with a sweat emoji.

Now I was the only one wearing leggings yesterday so it was definitely about me. This was at about 3.30 today and I finished at 4 so nothing more was said and I expect my colleague thinks he deleted it before I saw it.

Would you say something if you were me or pretend/forget I ever saw it?

Forget about it. Non event.

Legally Blonde reference.

Depends on whether or not this someone you’re interested in getting to know better. Are you both single? I don’t think you should overthink it. It was meant to be a private conversation.

Scrunch bum leggings my arse!

Hmm - I’d ignore to be honest unless it’s part of a pattern of sexist behaviour.

“she knows what she’s doing” - probably factual? Based on the fact you’re wearing scrunch leggings that are literally made to highlight your bum and seek attention. I mean - why else would you wear them?? They don’t look that comfy and at my workplace would not be appropriate. Then you pair it with a tight top. Again - your choice not sure how that covers everything?

im all for women being able to wear what they want - but I do think calling HR is a bit much in this case?

First of all the ex comment - ew. The in depth tale of bury me under your arse scenario would be a new ick unlocked.

As for your work colleagues, i'd probably be looking for a classier gaf - one pred colleague would be bad enough, but two (given the intended recipient was also at the work do, ergo must be an equally desperate creep) is pitiful stuff. Smacks of a questionable culture.

I'd feel insulted by the message, but I wouldn't say anything directly, i'd probably just throw several cringe expressions his way next time.

I know, that ex comment made me want to sick in my mouth.

Literal bottom feeder.

Sleazy compliment you weren't meant to see. Maintain your dignity, ignore it and keep your distance from him.

You’ve taken some stick here OP which I do find quite sad, and to be honest, comes across as pure jealousy of a confident woman who happens to have a cracking backside!

Fair play to you wearing clothes you are confident in - I bet most of those commenting wish they could pull off such a pair. I know I certainly couldn’t these days!

So you do wear them for bum attention??

I think you started this post to show off how amazing your bum is 🤣. You know it and so does the messages, your ex and your DP.

and you clearly think you’re better than other ladies who apparently can’t wear these awful leggings (each to their own - this is just my opinion).

like I said before - I’m all for women wearing what they want BUT there’s a time and a place.

Ithink he probably shouldn’t have said that. But you’ve posted on hear body shaming too…..shows how easily it’s done.

edited for typo

Yes! I often feel like…..if only I could draw attention to my bum hole…I might feel like an attractive and desirable woman again!

I had to Google what "scrunch" leggings are. Never seen a pair in real life I don't think (certainly not at work lol) but are they actually supposed to recreate having a wedgie? Why??

If there's one thing I hate about having to wear a suit to work, it's that almost noone is thinking about my bum crack 😥

This made me chuckle. I can assure you no jealousy here.

ah yes, the ones they market as making your arse look more prominent, usually with an advert showing men staring.

so you were attention seeking at work, just like you are in this post 🤣

Are scrunch leggings the ones where the scrunched bit is designed to look like a bum hole? If so, there may be a generational difference at play in terms of the opinions you’re getting on appropriateness. I’m young and fit enough to still look good in leggings but I remember when I first saw women a few years younger wearing these at the gym, my internal response was ‘what the actual fuck?’ And this is coming from someone who doesn’t normally bat an eyelid at fashion changes. It’s nothing to do with tightness, but just the sheer oddity of leggings that deliberately replicate an intimate body part on the outside. All I can think when I see them is what next? Vulva leggings? The women I see in them with nice figures look nice enough, but that’s definitely in spite of the bum hole part not because of it! 😂 I think that lots of people see them aa pretty absurd clothing, which is likely driving some of the response on here.

Having said that, my view is that if casual wear is ok in the office then these should be as acceptable as casual office wear, even though I personally dislike them. Certainly nobody should be texting about what you’re wearing, especially in a sexualised way. I suppose it’s a bit like in the 1960s when mini skirts were new and viewed by some as genuinely outrageous - likely people gossiped. But you don’t have to brush this under the carpet if you don’t want to and male colleagues should not be making you feel
uncomfortable. Yes, it was arguably a private conversation but there is clear workplace guidance on sexual harassment and you always have to treat your colleagues as colleagues first. Inappropriate conversations aren’t ok just because they’re outside the office. Also, once committed to text there’s always a risk it will be seen or passed on, which is absolutely on him.

You've mentioned "sexual feelings" several times. I have nonsexual feelings whatsoever. What it looks like is an equivalent of the emperor's new clothes.....he wanders around naked thinking he's being admired but people are just amused

"Of course not. My point was that they are hardly the most flattering item of clothing for the larger lady."

Sorry OP, I'll get rid of any leggings I have right now....

God forbid a larger lady would want to wear a piece of staple clothing!

Also the assumption that size 16’s don’t wear leggings is wild. What do they wear then out of curiosity?

Curvier ladies would probably rock a pair of leggings better than an ironing board arse like yourself who needs bum scrunch to look like she even has a bum 😂

Nailed it!

They are for arseless women to give the illusion they have a bum.

If she truly had the backside she claims to have, she wouldn’t need to accentuate it with a bum scrunch. Total attention seeking 😂

I would have no idea what was meant by this comment but would possibly guess it was a complement. Unprofessional though

Yeah same. It’s a compliment. I even wonder if it’s an accidental on purpose message. It could be a way to try and test the waters with you so if you respond positively, great. If you respond negatively, there’s plausible deniability. Mostly likely, a juvenile knob. I’d just be flattered ! 😂

I was just about to ask if they were scrunch bum leggings.

Any woman wearing those knows very well what they're doing, so he wasn't wrong. You got just what you wanted.

Jeeze. I'm amazed that someone would wear those to work, even on a casual day.

Ah come on op - is this some kind of weird stealth boast? 😂

Ok, maybe I’ve been living under a rock. I’ve just had to google scrunch leggings. What the F???
Why on earth are you wearing something like that to work op? Really inappropriate.