My brother is annoyed that I have learnt his wife's language

[poochuspoochus]

My brother got married yesterday and they have been together for seven years. I really love languages and although it wasn't a language I knew at all before I was introduced to his now wife I find it to be a really interesting one. So over the last seven years I have picked up enough to be able to speak quite well coversationally. I don't think he realised how much I had picked until yesterday as we are in sil's country for the wedding. He has sent me a message this morning saying it was a bit weird how I have attached myself to his wife's culture and he thinks I am obsessed with his family. Firstly why is he worrying about this the day after his wedding. Also I really wasn't making a big show of speaking the language just chatting to people normally. There's really no backstory to this as far as I'm aware. I really don't him to be upset but he's the one being weird isn't he?

I've replied to him and said I don't agree I've done anything weird but I hope he's okay. He can get quite stressed so hopefully he reflects a bit and realises he was being a bit extreme.

He's embarrassed that he can't speak a word of it, but his sister can. Only a man!

You're a better person than I am OP, I'd have told him in no uncertain terms to go fuck himself!

This. Her relatives will have said to him how lovely it was to meet you, how lovely it is that you have learned to speak their language and then left that sentence hanging...

Chatting to people=crime of the century. Your brother needs to get over himself. How ridiculous.

I learn languages for fun now I am retired.

i don’t think you are weird or obsessed.

This
And well done you for embracing different languages…….i imagine the brides family were delighted to chat to you in their own language.

Agree, it has to be this surely?

I continue to feel bad that I have not learnt my brother's wives language. They live in the same country and both married local women. It's ridiculous that they all have to speak English to us, including my nieces and nephews.

Your brother is being silly. But probalby feels self conscious that he doesn't speak it.

YANBU. What’s your SIL language?

YANBU OP. Your brother is acting like a spoilt brat, fancy getting all butt hurt about this just after his wedding 😂

He probably feels like you have shown him up but that is not your problem. I hope he reflects and says sorry.

He thinks his wife and her family will now realise that he's a dick for not doing the same?

He's embarrassed that you've made the effort, and worried in case you can now talk about him!

I really hope it didn't come across like a big reveal. He's definitely heard me saying stuff before and he knew I was interested in it. It's been a while since I've seen them both before this and in the last six months or so I've had a really lovely colleague who speaks the same language and that has definitely helped a lot.

You’ve done nothing wrong. Probably shown him up that you can speak the language better than him. He should be pleased! What a daft arse he is.

Bless his heart 😀. I'm sure you're SIL and her family appreciate it.

Yes but id have told him in the other language 😂

That is an extreme reaction - very odd. My friend’s dd is like you - she began to learn Italian after her cousin got together with an Italian DP - they set her to work at the wedding (in Italy) translating between the British and Italian guests and passing on info to coach drivers etc. it was seen as nothing but positive.

He sounds like an insecure arse.

I have in-laws who speak other languages. I've picked up the basics in one language, and am reasonable in the other. It's interesting & also means when the family speak the other language I can speak more of, I can roughly follow, and respond in English. That's pretty much how multi-lingual families operate, I think.

Yanbu. Your brother is probably mostly annoyed because your efforts show up his laziness that he couldn't be arsed to learn as much as you have. But presumably if you are just the sort of person who enjoys learning languages you would have been learning some other language over the past 7 years of not this one. You haven't done anything wrong or weird.

But some things are much harder for other people than others? Maybe he’s tried really hard and is ashamed. Not every adult actually can just learn a new language like it’s nothing.

He wouldn't have understood...

Well done, OP. What a lovely effort from you to learn her language.