Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

Honestly, this thread!

The little boy was a bit cheeky (not a hanging offence, but he needs to learn).
The class teacher possibly gave an instruction in the moment which could have been put more simply- but personally I love more amusing phraseology.
Another teacher (and this is the crucial point) came in and firmly reprimanded him for disobeying an instruction.
He didn’t like being told off.

Surely that’s all, folks? For God’s sake - what a storm in a teacup. Teachers on here understand why the boy was corrected and not indulged with attention at that point. Some non- teachers, who equate the school/classroom context with home don’t understand and also give full credence to the small boy’s version of events (prolonged shouting).

A teacher has to manage the whole class and occasionally that means some children are going to feel their needs have been sacrificed for the sake of the other 29. It’s not the end of the world - it’s normal and something parents should help their children to understand.

Having raised two kids to nearly adulthood and been through the education system with them I would say the biggest favour you can do your kids is to help and encourage them to become resilient.

...and to listen to their teacher.

Jesus OP. Just accept he was back chatting and being cheeky. Probably does it at home too. But hopefully wont do it at school now especially when the teacher has 30 6 year olds to deal with. Come on OP get on board with the school’s discipline.

He is 6 for godsake! If he was older I would get people saying saying, he is rude, a smart arse, etc.
Yes he needed talking to but to be shouted at where he is that upset is not justified! The fact that the teacher didnt tell you themselves about the incident says everything. I got pulled by the teacher when my son was in reception for calling another child a poopy head! The child's parent spoke to his teacher as her daughter was upset. I thought it was bit ott by the other parent especially as spoke to each other in the playground and at the park, she could of come to me about it. However I had a chat with my son about it, he apologised to the child.He never called it anyone again, the parent of the child never spoke to me again! A child that made a comment that was so bad that the child was shouted at to the point he was crying and upset for the day and the teacher doesn't mention it?
I would have a chat with the teacher to get the full story.
You are definitely not being unreasonable!

I don't think it's an appropriate way to speak to 6 year olds. To an adult or teenager, fine, but that is not the way to speak to young children. It's not simple or plain and elicited a response from a child that the teacher found cheeky. We hope to bring up children to be thoughtful, polite and intelligent - this child clearly has a good vocabulary. It's a shame the teacher doesn't have the same. It's also a shame that the teacher felt it necessary to call out and embarrass the child in front of the class. Personally I'd have spoken to her and then to the head teacher.

The teacher asked them to be quiet.
This child ignored that, thinking the rules don't apply to them.
Gentle parenting done wrong has a lot to answer for.

The fact that the teacher didn’t mention it would probably suggest it wasn’t a big deal. Lots of children try to mess around. Part of a teacher’s job is to control the messing around so that learning takes place

OP - six year old children are not little babies. Their actions have consequences and they have enough understanding to deal with that. The consequence here was being told off. A resilient child would be upset (no one likes being told off) and move on. A less resilient child may be upset for longer and then move on. It really is such a minor event. As a parent, the best thing to do is to say that it sounds like it was a tough day for him and that it will be a fresh start tomorrow. Then just remind him why the teacher needs him to be quiet when he is asked to do so and why continuing to ask questions was rude and stopping him and his friends from learning. If you respond dramatically, the child will continue to respond dramatically and you are going to have a long twelve years of education to navigate.

I’m going to recommend you not listen to the people who won’t tolerate rudeness from a child but are ok with adults casually abusing the children in their care.

Yeah OP just get on board with verbal abuse!

My God. Most teachers are delightful, selfless people, but somehow all the nasty ones are here.

With adults you’d just specify that you’re not to be interrupted unless it’s an emergency. With 6 year olds you have to explain what interrupting is (ie. the kids trying to talk to you) and what situations are justify interrupting during this activity (needing permission to leave the room and go to the toilet or someone needing medical attention). It would be rude to say exactly the same thing to adults because you’d be implying they can’t figure out what constitutes an emergency themselves.

Because clearly he/she has just given all the kids a clear instruction - now is not the time for questions - and he’s just ignored that.
I assume when he raised his hand he didn’t wait for the teacher to ask him what his question was but just blurted it out with his hand up.
It’s actually impossible to answer every 6yr old’s question in a class of 30 when you need to get them all started working on an activity. Even more so when you need most of the class to work relatively quietly (not silently) on an activity so you can work one on one with kids. So maybe you set the whole class a worksheet while you help 2-3 kids to correct their writing work and explain what they need to work on individually. Sometimes you just have to tell your class that now is not the time for questions and they will have to wait.

Oh how ridiculous.

’Abusing children in their care’ 🙄

He was asked to be quiet. What did he do? Asked a silly question. He got told off. End (or it should have been).

The best thing OP can do for her child is to a) explain that when teacher says get on and don’t talk he needs to do that and b) to take it in the chin if you are told off for not complying with a request.

None of us on here know what really happened- some of us suspect the boy was trying it on and exaggerated the ‘shouting’. Others think the boy was cute and the adults were hardened abusers. All this tells us is a) there are different parenting styles and b) which pps have ever been a teacher!

Draconian? Reprimanding a child for deliberately being rude is humiliation now? 🙄😂😂 Get a grip!
Interesting that you think not ‘every teacher is fit to teach young children’ I would say an increasing number of parents are not fit to parent these days and seem to be producing children with no resilience or ability to handle disappointments in life because they’re not used to hearing the word ‘no’ or not getting their own way.

I'm going to recommend that you don't use the word abuse lightly.

Verbal abuse? 🤣

Spot on!

The issue is that some parenting styles are not helping teachers when there are classes of thirty children and they all need to learn. It is highly, highly unlikely this is ‘abusive’ (but do mention it if you want it noted) and very, very likely it was a child who was a bit silly and who received a reprimand.

Just stop creating a drama that doesn’t (or shouldn’t) exist.

I continue to be shocked at all the posters who seem certain that they know what happened in that classroom

Me too!

As I said, it tells us more about the pps than the actual scenario.

Like OP?

Partly OP, but she did come here seeking a variety of opinions. She said it would be fine if the consensus were that DS was being cheeky. Perhaps she is slightly defensive, but most parents are. Probably a good instinct as long as it is contained.

We don’t have any real data on her, either, and it isn’t fair to make judgments about the way DS is being brought up from the little we know. Any six year old can be cheeky (or confused - I lean towards a minor cheekiness here, for reasons best known to DS himself, but it is only a guess)

I’m not defending or blaming the teacher. Anything could have happened. The bigger concern is that DS isn’t enjoying school. Hopefully this can be sorted.

A good tale but it didnt happen!
1)They wouldn't have paid for a supply teacher if there were other cover options (they would have still had to pay themfor the day)
2) there is no way a parent would have been party to a conversation of this nature and the headteacher would have much more likely explained privately that ot isnt the ethos of the school.
Much mote likely the supply walked out.

OP,it is to your child's credit that he feels embarrassed and upset about his 'faux pas', some would have just fed off it.
Teachers spend a long time with childten and would absolutely be able to tell whether a question is genuinely confused or being cheeky!

I think this is about where it is at op.

I don't think it makes him the naughtiest kid in the world, but, in the absence of ND considerations, I think at 6 he fully comprehended a) he was being asked to be quiet and b) in that context, pointing out a near-similarity between two words used by the teacher was pushing buttons and boundaries. He's 6 not 2.

But children do ill-judged things. I think he's been unlucky to cop it in the way that he did (if he did; there is truth in the fact that children "feel" crossness and call it shouting).

I'd just keep an eye on him - both with the unhappiness at school, and with any tendencies to answer back.

Have you spoken to the teacher @partytimed