Is this rude from a child? Age 6, furious reaction from teacher

[partytimed]

My DS was at school today and his teacher addressed the class saying “I don’t want to hear from you unless you need the toilet, you’re in pain or injured.” My DS raised his hand and said “I’m pain and injured is kind of the same thing.” Another teacher overheard and shouted at him so much he was crying and still crying about it at bedtime.

obviously I only have his account of the incident so this is all the detail I have. He didn’t think he had said anything wrong. I’ve noticed this year he’s complained of strict scary teachers and he’s becoming anxious about going to school. Would appreciate opinions on whether this apparently very big telling off was justified. He said his friends were comforting afterwards and he was crying and apologising whilst the teacher continued to shout.

He was being a smart arse. You can be in pain and not being injured. The class were obviously being told to be quiet and it was inappropriate to correct the teacher (incorrectly). I'm not surprised she gave the cocky little kid a mouthful. Without context it's impossible to say whether the teachers initial comments about not wanting to hear from them etc were OTT as it could be that the class were being very rowdy and so clear instructions were given and boundaries set

He wasn't cheeky - he was asking for clarification. I have a 7 year old who is an angel behaviour wise, has never said a thing cheeky to anyone ever and is praised consistently in school - but he needs clarification as he sees everything literally and wouldn't understand exactly what was meant there. Thank f* you aren't a teacher though.

@AmbeeBambee if he said what was in the opening post he wasn’t asking a question.

Would your child take the part about “don’t talk to me unless …..” literally or just the part where he could query the teacher?

There is a crossover but no, in pain and injured are not the same thing.

You can be in pain but not injured.
You can be injured but not in pain.
You can also be in pain and injured.

And no, at 6 they can be in pain for many reasons. Being injured is just one.

I'm just amazed at all the adults on here who don't seem to realise that.

I'm a teacher and really, this was a bit rude and not appropriate at the time. That said, how I'd react to it depends on what mood I'm in. If I've had a tough afternoon or lesson with the kids and my patience was waning, then yes I'd probably pull a child up on this whatever their age.
For this reason, I'd cut the teacher some slack.

Sounds like your son was being deliberately cheeky, probably to get a laugh and gain popularity points from his friends. His teacher made his bid for kudos fail and your son ended up looking a bit silly. Not the first to try and won’t be the last but hopefully he won’t do it again. The teacher was asking children to be quiet so they could focus on learning. Just move on as it is a very minor issue and focusing on it blows it out of proportion.

Is nobody else reading the words '6 years old'? Perhaps it was cheeky, perhaps the class had been very 'trying' all day, but they are 6 years old. These are not cocky, hormonal 15 year olds trying to look big in front of their friends. My 9 year old still asks questions like that to me very innocently, with no cheekiness meant.
Definitely speak with the teacher though, there are 2 sides to everything. And young children do need to know when they need to be quieter in class, but shouting is seldom the answer.
And you need to find out why he is so unhappy generally at school.

Jesus. No he wasn’t ‘asking’. He didn’t ask a question. He knew he was supposed to stop talking and he chose to try to get one up on the teacher instead.
6 is quite old enough for this. 6 year olds aren't ‘tiny’ or ‘practically babies’.

It wasn’t a question.

As a teacher of many, many years, I can assure you that a six year old is quite capable of being cheeky and disruptive. They push their luck in just the same way as teenagers. ANY disruptive behaviour needs stopping so all children can learn. It’s not a big deal!

The teacher should be the one to teach the children this.

I think in this scenario the teacher should have responded calmly saing something like Well, thats an interesting point and we can discuss it later. Now I need you to be quiet.

He's six ffs .... I work in early years, no matter what we listen to the children, explain the reason for the statement so they understand ... no reason for a teacher to shout like that. Parent needs to talk to teacher

Can you ask him if other children were being disruptive before this incident.
I have been up the school with a similar complaint about a teacher and found out that my son hadn't been telling the complete truth , although he sounds too young to be spoken to like that.

This, 💯!

How many times should the teacher respond in this way?
Should she do it for all 30 children?
How long would that take?

Speak to the teacher, make sure he/she knows the effect the response has had on your child.... he's only 6 x

But it wasn't an interesting point, it was incorrect nonsense said to try to get one up in the teacher. And in any case, he'd been told not to talk, and so he was being wilfully disobedient. He needed to be pulled up on his bad behaviour.

Of course, screaming and screaming at him would be inappropriate, but I think it's exceptionally unlikely that happened.

Most likely he got an age appropriate telling off. The fact that his DM can't recognise disobedience or back chat as poor behaviour suggests that he has previously be able to get away with bad behaviour unchecked. So to him it might seem unfair that bad behaviour his mum lovingly indulges gets him into trouble at school. But his behaviour was very poor, and he needed pulling up on it.

If teachers cannot handle these situations without losing their temper, it's probably best they leave.

It's a job, not a prison sentence.

It’s a job most teachers take very seriously. Low level disruption stops learning. Teachers (should) stop low level disruption so all children can learn. If one little boy who has been a little bit silly is stopped in his tracks, all children will find it easier to learn, including him. A minor incident and one which does not need all this woe. He will get over it like countless children before him. In the words of the song, let it go.

Is shouting at a six year old child until they cry the only way to stop low-level disruption?

Other teachers on this thread disagree.

I would be surprised if every teacher felt the same. Anyway, it is a free market - find a school where the teaching suits your parenting style, I suppose. Personally, I would be looking for a school where poor behaviour is stopped in its tracks. Each to their own!

If the teacher shouted to loud and in a scary way then no, it's not appropriate he's only 6! However before summer break it might have been a younger environment where children were less manageable, now he needs to know what is acceptable. Perhaps he was being mischievous. So he has to learn now that's not acceptable in lessons. But it's not good that a teacher shouted at him. A lower tone and a shh would be good!

Retired teacher here.
Your post is so relevant and believe me, until you've been in a classroom with 30 children of mixed ability and as you said working with a small group, you have no idea what it's like to be constantly interrupted.........I need a rubber, he's giving me dirty looks, I can't find a sharpener etc etc etc.

I would speak to the teacher. He’s obviously been really upset by her shouting. She shouldn’t be shouting at a child age 6/7. I know teachers are under a lot of pressure but shouting won’t achieve anything.You could explain he’s been really upset. He could be overreacting but I would still want some clarity on what actually happened.
Hope you manage to reassure him. We all want our children to enjoy school not become anxious.