Would you say this was a red flag on a date?

[Margaretbaxter]

I'm so out of the loop so I have no idea.

We'd eaten in a café, I couldn't finish my food as I was full so I got the sandwich to take away.

A couple of hours later we were walking around and I got hungry again so took out my sandwich. He said let's find somewhere to sit down whilst you eat.

I said, thanks, but I'm ok honestly I don't mind walking around with it. He said, no I insist you sit down. I said again that I was honestly ok walking with it but he was absolutely adamant that we sat down.

There was just something that felt a bit off about him not taking no for an answer, am I reading into this?

If it were the other way round i would've not asked again after the first no.

I dunno, maybe he wasnt a fan of walking and eating

Bit intense though

How many dates in are you?

I just think if I want to walk and eat that's up to me and he didn't need to insist 3 times.

The red flag for me would have been for the person walking around eating a sandwich. It’s not really good manners to walk along eating.

I think it’s more just personal / cultural difference. I was raised to see eating as you walk or in the street as being a bit bad mannered / uncouth. I still don’t do it, and whilst I wouldn’t insist somebody I was with sat down to eat if they didn’t want to, I’d wince a bit inside. Whether you want to see a mismatch like this as meaning you aren’t likely to be compatible in other areas is up to you, though.

3rd date, he wasn't eating anything just me, if he'd wanted to eat and sit down i could understand that but I'd told him I didn't need to

3rd date, he wasn't eating anything just me, if he'd wanted to eat and sit down i could understand that but I'd told him I didn't need to

It is bad manners to eat when walking.Don’t see it as a red flag at all.

You eat whilst walking around? That’s the bit I find strange. He probably did too. I would have accepted his offer to find somewhere to sit down. I don’t know why you wouldn’t.
You don’t sound compatible if you insist on walking, talking and eating on a date when there’s a more comfortable alternative.

I'd have probably asked him why he wasn't taking no for an answer then and there. Very odd behaviour.

I suppose the best possible explanation is he thought it would be more comfortable for you but even so, it's obviously up to you.

Did you sit down in the end?

I don't know if I'd call it a red flag, per se, but it's definitely not a good sign and I'd be thinking about whether he did anything else that could be construed as controlling, and what his general attitude was.

That is weird. It sounds like my mum. She's got this thing about eating in the street! She told me off for eating a pret croissant while walking in the high street with her. She literally distanced herself from me in embarrassment!

But yeah, it's fine to say 'oh, don't you want to take a seat?' or if he wanted to sit down so urgently he should have just said 'oh, I fancy stopping for a few mins, shall we find a seat?' that way you might have thought oh, he's a bit tired, I don't mind sitting down briefly. Or of course you could've still said no, let's keep walking.

I was raised to think that 'grazing while walking" as my dm called it, was the height of bad manners.

Maybe he has the same voice in his head as I would. 😁

Me too. I can’t bear it and never do it.

He was probably really embarrassed at your poor manners.

He doesnt like walking and eating girl xx

This is what I think, sorry, OP!

Walking along eating a sandwich is naff in the extreme. I guess he thought so too, therefore he was giving you the opportunity to behave with more decorum, which is nice of him. Green Flag.

I was gonna say, growing up, my dm hated people walking and eating

He's trying to bring you up a bit, not a red flag - just an accepted standard. Up to you if you like that or not.

You were the red flag to him

Personally I’d find it really strange that a date saved half of their lunch then devised to eat it walking along.

I think he was trying to be polite tbh as it’s a pretty awkward situation and he didn’t know how to tell you it’s pretty bad manners to eat walking along.

Why you couldn’t have waited til you got home I have no idea

It’s very rude to eat while walking, especially a sandwich. If it was an apple or a Twix, I’d view that a bit differently. He might have been shocked at your lack of manners and was trying to steer you in the proper way.

Jesus..harsh responses.. point taken! Don't think i need to add any more, I've got horrid manners and need bringing to standard. Got it

It must be a generational thing. As my mum didn't grow up with fast food. You ate at home at the table. I have to admit I wouldn't eat a full meal walking up the road. Just purely because it would hurt my belly.

It does look a tad uncouth to see someone cramming in a kebab really messily while weaving up the road. But I guess they are most likely drunk!

It may be bad manners to eat and walk and he may not like it but he shouldn't be insisting, he should have taken no for an answer and left it at that.

It’s still the case in a lot of other places, I think. I remarked to my (Polish) friend when we were in Warsaw recently how clean and litter-free the streets were. She replied that it’s probably mostly because it’s still seen as bad manners in Poland to eat as you walk so there’s just less likelihood of people dropping/ discarding litter and food waste from what they’ve been eating.