Would you say this was a red flag on a date?

[Margaretbaxter]

I'm so out of the loop so I have no idea.

We'd eaten in a café, I couldn't finish my food as I was full so I got the sandwich to take away.

A couple of hours later we were walking around and I got hungry again so took out my sandwich. He said let's find somewhere to sit down whilst you eat.

I said, thanks, but I'm ok honestly I don't mind walking around with it. He said, no I insist you sit down. I said again that I was honestly ok walking with it but he was absolutely adamant that we sat down.

There was just something that felt a bit off about him not taking no for an answer, am I reading into this?

If it were the other way round i would've not asked again after the first no.

That's a bit extreme! A sandwich?! I get it's a bit unpleasant visually to look at someone walking and eating a curry or something. But a sandwich is literally portable. That's the point of it. You don't sit at a table with a knife and fork to eat one.

I doubt the OP will be back. AIBU - yes.

Well if he's so old fashioned that he thinks walking & eating is 'embarrassing' I'd find it good to know early & he'd be welcome to get lost.

the only person I'd cater to in this way is my 96 year old great aunt.

im surprised there's so much of this outdated nonsense on this thread.

it was a sandwich not a curry.

Walking around eating a sandwich is pretty weird, and as has been said, very bad etiquette, so he was not being unreasonable to want you (and him) to sit down. But anyone (especially a man) insisting I sit down, and demanding I do as he demands, would be given a short shrift from me, and no further dates. I'd be throwing him back in the sea.

I think it’s a bit odd to walk while eating to be honest, not great etiquette

I was brought up not to eat while walking around, so that would have put me right off you.

I voted YANBU because he said he insisted. I don’t like eating while walking but if you are comfortable then it’s okay for you.

I remember my grandparents generation thought it frightfully uncouth. The basis for this was that it was what street prostitutes did (with street prostitutes being lowest of the low, below prostitutes tucked away in brothels), they stood up and ate on the street and maybe even walked around while eating. So, as not to be associated with such creatures it was ‘not the done thing’.

Given I think the basis of this is bonkers, if I need/want to eat while getting from point a to point b and this involves walking on a street, so be it. In this day and age I doubt I will be mistaken for a street prostitute due to this🤣.

Have you heard from him since OP?

Good advice on this thread for you, we can't always expect our parents to teach every situation. Every person on the planet has at some point found an imbalance with someone else through values, culture, all manner of reasons.

Just have to rock on and take it into account next time. He was in fairness trying to be a gentleman to digestive and etiquette needs.

Maybe have a quick conversation with him to clean it up? Then move on to a different subject.

Why is it bad manners

Exactly. Any one who insists on anything that you have said you don't want to do can basically fuck off. Who does he think he is. Bye bye. Not nice knowing you. Next.

I think this is a non event tbh.

if you’re looking for reasons just to bin him off op, then just do it.

Gosh. I grew up by the seaside and think nothing at all of people walking around eating fish and chips or ice creams. And there’s loads of takeaway shops like Greggs and Subway. Surely the whole point is ‘food on the go’? I have eaten on the hop all my life!

There are some really strange people on here who are seemingly offended by everything! Poor OP. It's just a sandwich.....

I'm not personally a fan of walking and eating but do not consider it bad manners if someone does. Honestly I don't really care what other people do as long as it isn't harming anyone? Perhaps a generational thing?

I do think it is strange he was so insistent on OP sitting down and think he needs to relax a bit. Maybe not a red flag but just a bit weird?

The issue is not about eating food on the go. It's about being told 3 times not to do it as an adult making your own choices by someone you have met 3 times.

Yep - surprise surprise the people of MN missing the point yet again. Not once did OP ask for opinions on eating whilst walking!

Red flag for me. He wouldn’t listen to you wanted you do do it his way.

If I was on a date with someone who wanted to walk whilst chowing down on a sandwich, that would be a red flag for me. Be interesting to see if he contacts you.

I don't think people (or me) are missing the point. She asked if it was a red flag that he asked her three times to sit down when she was walking the streets eating a sandwich. People are just rightly pointing out to her, that her behaviour was uncouth and embarrassing to the man. Yeah, it's not the worst thing ever and he over did it asking her three times but no; it's not a red flag.

Old fashioned etiquette thing?
When dumped in boarding sch. age 9 (60yr ago), 1 of the new rules was; Never eat in the street. Why? It’s ’Common’.
So I would say do as you wish ie eat where you like, if he doesn’t like it, in my book he must lump it… I would have stayed standing whilst he sat tbh! hope you had a nice snack 😊.

This.

You cannot say people are 'rightly' pointing something out which is a matter of opinion, you are also quite assuming that the man found it embarrassing.

Ha yes.

I think I’d be put off by your pointless insistence on walking while eating.

I think it’s a cultural thing. I know in Japan you’re an absolute heathen if you eat on the go but I’d say it’s pretty normal in the UK, especially in busy cities.

I agree with other posters that it’s really bad manners to eat while you’re walking and he was probably embarrassed by your behaviour.