Would you say this was a red flag on a date?

[Margaretbaxter]

I'm so out of the loop so I have no idea.

We'd eaten in a café, I couldn't finish my food as I was full so I got the sandwich to take away.

A couple of hours later we were walking around and I got hungry again so took out my sandwich. He said let's find somewhere to sit down whilst you eat.

I said, thanks, but I'm ok honestly I don't mind walking around with it. He said, no I insist you sit down. I said again that I was honestly ok walking with it but he was absolutely adamant that we sat down.

There was just something that felt a bit off about him not taking no for an answer, am I reading into this?

If it were the other way round i would've not asked again after the first no.

I'll out myself as a bloke here but it's not wholly relevant... it has just belatedly occurred to me that it's not quite the done thing to grab a bit at Pret and eat it while on the go... You don't see others in the high street do it much - actually tbf the Pret breakfast bap really was mucky, the egg might spill out.

You don't see other people eating as they walk along. Depends what it is, a choc bar maybe is normal. Celebs don't get snapped eating as it looks bad. It might undermine your brand a bit. I know one shouldn't always be thinking like that, but on the other hand, it is a thing, if you were to bump into a work colleague while snacking... If you saw the boss doing that, might you not think worse of them?

That all said, I do snack and go but it's maybe easier in the Big Smoke where you're less likely to run into someone you know.

I'll of to remember that.

OP eating in public is very much a no-no to many people in the UK. They aren't making it up - although there is the usual MN over exaggeration from some. I was brought up not to do it and my DC don't. Maybe your date felt the same way? Although insisting you sit to eat in the way you have stated was OTT. But then I'd find popping out an uneaten sandwich mid-date a bit strange too TBH

I thought the same - I’d have binned you off for that.

There is nothing wrong with you. These responses are brutal and unfair which is typical. If he felt pushy to you, take it as a red flag.

Bare* (as in without tools) not 'bear' (as in a large mammal). 'Bear hands' implies she has claws and fur.

No you haven't, people are being bloody ridiculous. I can think of no good reason why it should be considered bad mannered or uncouth - that's just snobbish nonsense which MN just loves a bit (lot) of.

Fwiw, I'd have asked you once just to make sure you weren't just feeling too awkward to ask about having a sit & then just left it cos you're an adult woman, not a sodding toddler who's at risk of choking.

Same

Op take no notice of the ridiculous responses.
Don’t know where people get the idea it’s rude/bad mannered/blah blah to walk while eating.
It would be bad mannered or impolite eating with your mouth open, throwing litter ect…

His insistence on you sitting down and not taking NO for an answer is what is RUDE, DISRESPECTFUL,CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR! Definitely a red flag.

For anyone who thinks eating outside is bad mannered I’m going to assume you’ve never been to a theme park/festival or even had a picnic ffs get a grip.

Omg, I have never heard that it is rude or bad manners to eat while walking. I have done it plenty of times and ate while walking to a meeting with a colleague a few weeks back and now wonder if he thought I was really rude. How have I got to my mid 40s without knowing this? Saying that, I am probably not going to stop now.

Another one here who doesn't see the problem with eating whilst walking.

He was being controlling which is a red flag.

Then when I see the responses on here, it might able an education issue (being so intolerant to others is also a lack of manners).

I agree sort of odd date. If it’s something people like doing though, go for it. Doesn’t bother me personally. My own standards is I would not do this. Third date means I would expect to share a kiss. Bad breath from the sandwich wafting over me would turn me off completely. All I could think about is the triangle they just consumed and food stuck in their teeth. No thanks.

Looks a bit naff walking and eating. Something teens do while munching on a Greggs pie. But a bit intense to insist you sit down. Maybe he was a bit embarrassed.

The only question is whether you gave him and did as he told you? If so, that's a huge red flag on your part and you should think about that fairly hard before continuing to date anyone.

Gave in!

It doesn't matter what people on here think. What matters is that, in his mind you were going to embarrass him in public.
And going by general consensus, now you know why.

It's up to you how you take it. I only see a red flag as a matter of compatibility. Do you want to be wondering whether he's ashamed of you every time you do something he sees as wrong.

I'm sorry but the visions of eating soup with bear hands did make me chuckle.

Sorry OP, I’d hate to be walking along with someone eating as well. I was also brought up to consider it rude - no different than getting up from the table with your mouth still full.

I don’t know how old you are or the other PP who think it’s fine but maybe a generational thing? I’m in my 40s and it was very much drummed into us. Or possibly geographical differences? I was brought up in London. My family certainly weren’t posh so it’s not class! 😂

I’m sure you would have been very careful but definitely the description of someone walking while eating a half-finished sandwich does conjure up images of food being dropped, crumbs, and just general mess 🫣

I’m going to guess that he had a similar view and felt embarrassed? Has he asked for another date?

Although in my eyes you were in the wrong for wanting to walk and eat (a purely subjective opinion) I think I’d be quite pissed off with someone trying to tell me what to do…. I would probably struggle to get past that, tbh.

Theme parks usually have tables and chairs to sit at. Festival - sit down on the grass to eat. A picnic - you sit down for it, you don't lug it about eating as you go along.

I couldn't care less where OP ate her sandwich, but clearly her date did.

I'm interested to know, just to get the full picture - was it a triangle, like a pre packed sandwich? Was it a door stop? Or... Was it a massive baguette that you'd be chomping through? It was a footlong wasn't it?!

I suspect it wasn't anything to do with eating. He'd spied the can of Special Brew that you'd brought along to wash it down with.

Tut.

The biggest red flag for me here @Margaretbaxter is how you respond to people disagreeing with you! 🚩

Yeah i know...the bad breath only happens from standing up, you're immune to it whilst sitting down 👍

Aww I know. I should be fully embracing people calling me chavvy, vile, sloppy, disgusting. How dare I disagree with these kindhearted individuals ❤️

a seagull might have swooped down and stolen your sandwich
it was wrong to eat while walking but strange he insisted you sit

He’s controlling. Bin.

Rolling my eyes at people saying walking and eating is rude. good lord … haven’t you ever been to a fair or street vendors?
i would simply bin him for being no fun. This controlling, judgmental shit is his best behavior