Would you say this was a red flag on a date?

[Margaretbaxter]

I'm so out of the loop so I have no idea.

We'd eaten in a café, I couldn't finish my food as I was full so I got the sandwich to take away.

A couple of hours later we were walking around and I got hungry again so took out my sandwich. He said let's find somewhere to sit down whilst you eat.

I said, thanks, but I'm ok honestly I don't mind walking around with it. He said, no I insist you sit down. I said again that I was honestly ok walking with it but he was absolutely adamant that we sat down.

There was just something that felt a bit off about him not taking no for an answer, am I reading into this?

If it were the other way round i would've not asked again after the first no.

It is probably the way he was brought up, walking and eating isn’t the normal.

I was always told while growing up that it was rude to eat in the street/eat while walking.
And although we've mellowed in that rule over the years, I'd still find it a bit ill-mannered to see people walking and chowing. Especially something potentially a bit messy, that could easily have bits falling, like a sandwich.
Marching the street and trying to digest something fairly stodgy like that, would also do my stomach no favours.
He probably thought he was being nice, trying to find you somewhere to sit and enjoy your sandwich properly.
It wouldn't jump to red flag from that.

I wouldn’t worry too much, he’s probably been put right off you and embarrassed by watching you walking around stuffing your sandwich in your face, so you’re unlikely to see him again. I know I would be put off by such bad manners.

Not MN getting distracted and missing point of OPs post 😱.

Agree completely, it was fine for him to ask but to insist she stop was a bit much - like treating her like a child. I highly doubt if he was with a male buddy he’d do the same. Pink flag for me.

It’s a bit weird saving your lunch and taking it with you on a date. How much later did you eat the sandwich?!
Id run a mile if I was him 😂

I think you were a bit weird on the date. Taking leftovers then walking around eating them.
He was likely embarrassed as lots of people do not eat walking around.
Obviously, it is your right to eat where you like. But it was a date and you should have read the signals that he was uncomfortable with this.
I think you are not compatible. People have different views on these things. If this is how it is on date 1 then likely you have very different views on lots of things.

Except she didn’t. OP was already on the date but feeling too full so instead of wasting the food she had it packed up in a doggy bag. Then ate it later whilst walking about. She really is quite a monster isn’t she? 🙄

Came on to say exactly this - it's quite a common view so perhaps he didn't want to be walking with you while you were eating.

Agree entirely. If I were out with someone and he suggested eating in the street I would never go out with him again. Massive red flag for me!!

I wouldn’t like being told what to do, I’d also feel uncomfortable being watched and waited for, whoever’s right or wrong, it’s a non starter if your irritated by each others actions.

Don't forget her poor manners/standards/upbringing as well. Absolute fucking madness.

I've literally never heard of eating and walking as bad manners? The issue surely is that he asked you to do something and wouldn't take no for an answer which is rude of him because he didn't respect your wishes. I'd perhaps meet a 4th time and see how it goes.

Your behaviour sounds weirder IMO. Very odd to pull out a sandwich and eat it whilst walking on a date.

It's interesting to see there are two very strong groups of opinion here neither of whom seem to want to see the viewpoint of the other
And there lies the true red flag for this couple.
When neither can compromise on such a small thing the relationship is bound to fail

Thank you, OP - I think this is my favourite mn thread ever! The amount of huffing and puffing and outrage about EATING WHILE WALKING is making me laugh so much, I had no idea people were so uptight about it! It's like finding hundreds of my 85 year old mother in one place and it's cracking me up.

OP I think you have good instincts - a bloke's reaction to you saying no - to anything - is very telling. And who wants to spend time with someone who either thinks he knows better than you what's good for you, or who gets his pants in a knot by someone eating in a park?

I’m amazed at how many people think it’s rude or embarrassing to eat whilst walking, I’ve never thought anything of it!

The fact that you’ve never heard of it is sad, but now you have. And if you’d been on a date with the guy in question, you’d have had an opportunity to behave in a much nicer way.

or you could have doggedly persisted being a bit crass, scoffing as you walk along.

Again with the "scoffing"! What is it about walking that turns eating into scoffing?

What are the rules? Is eating on a train OK? Would it have been OK to eat on the park bench? Is that scoffing?

Is it permissable to eat in the car? Is that scoffing or eating?

I love the how easy it is to cause a scandal in 2025 - eat a sandwich while walking,!!

I don't understand why the people who seem to think eating and walking as rude seem to need to make out like the op is eating in such a piggish way that she's scoffing, guzzling, get food everywhere... She's eating a sandwich, its not like she's trying to eat soup with her bear hands 😂
Also questionable that the pp thinks it's 'sad' that others haven't heard it's rude. Maybe we should decide wearing a blue shirt on a Monday is terribly uncouth and disgusting and it's terribly sad others haven't heard it's rude

I'm imagining the scenario:

OP: I'm hungry again now. I'll eat my doggy bag sandwich while we walk.
OP's Date: Oh, would you like to sit down?
OP: No, I'll just eat it now [continues walking, rummages for sandwich]
OP's Date: Are you sure you wouldn't like to sit down?
OP: [chomps] No, I'm fine [commences eating sandwich]
OP's Date: There's a bench over there, shall we sit down?
OP: YOU ARE COERCIVELY CONTROLLING ME! THIS IS A RED FLAG!!

Same! I wouldn't dream of doing that on a date. Maybe a few months into a relationship if that's your vibe, but on a third date? Definitely no. It's bad manners in the situation you're describing.

OMG HE INSISTED THREE TIMES! MAJOR RED FLAG.

These threads always go the same way, some (pretty ridiculous) posters do their upmost to make out that you're some sort of disgusting vomit-inducing beast (even been called a chav on this thread 😂) and that the poor, innocent person you're with must be so terribly humiliated by your vile behaviour that they wouldn't dare be seen with you in public again.
Don't worry, the street sweepers are still cleaning up all the bits of sandwich I dropped all over the place.

I was brought up to think it was rude. He was trying to be polite. You were completely within your rights not to be dictated to. I think you are probably not a good match 🤷

The dramatics honestly, chomping, guzzling, slurping, why can't it just be eating? So many pearl clutchers, I'd rather eat 1000 sandwiches whilst walking than be any of you 😂