Would you say this was a red flag on a date?

[Margaretbaxter]

I'm so out of the loop so I have no idea.

We'd eaten in a café, I couldn't finish my food as I was full so I got the sandwich to take away.

A couple of hours later we were walking around and I got hungry again so took out my sandwich. He said let's find somewhere to sit down whilst you eat.

I said, thanks, but I'm ok honestly I don't mind walking around with it. He said, no I insist you sit down. I said again that I was honestly ok walking with it but he was absolutely adamant that we sat down.

There was just something that felt a bit off about him not taking no for an answer, am I reading into this?

If it were the other way round i would've not asked again after the first no.

This, I would have been embarrassed walking with you. Bad manners, food falling, you faffing around looking for something to wipe your mouth.

Nowt like seeing your arse is there!

What's bad manners about eating and walking? Does this apply to ice cream? The local park has an ice cream van and people buy one and walk along eating it all the time in summer. They don't provide seating! I had no idea this was considered bad manners. Not that it'll stop me!

Why is it rude to eat whilst walking? I really don't get this. What, essentially, is rude about it?

No, I wouldn't say it applies to ice cream. Just stuff like sandwiches, burgers, bags of chips etc.

It looks sloppy and unhygienic. More chance of you dropping food stuffs around. You look like you can't wait to eat at a table. It just looks slovenly, I suppose.

Sounds a bit rude eating your left over sandwich on a date, did he have anything left to eat? It is difficult walking eating and presumably talking. A very odd date all round to me.

That’s a point though. He can think you’re horribly uncouth. But that means he decides not to see you again. Not that he insists on you sitting down.

I’d say it’s a red flag. Unless he has some trauma about someone who died eating and walking…

It does sound very strange for a 3rd date - tbh what I’ve read on here about the so called 3rd date rule, it’s not a sandwich that’s usually being eaten 😂

I can't even drink a coffee on the go... would spill it all down me. There is no way I could walk and eat a sandwich.. not good for digestion.

I'm with him... your the red flag (Im joking... )

but he wasnt eating...

YANBU its strangely controlling, you said once you were fine, he insisted and found somewhere to sit. Some would say its nice if him, but different situation and its a different story, dismissing your opinion, orchestrating his way.

🙌

Walking around while eating is gross.

Nope he was rude and bossy. I wouldn’t like that very much at all.

This exactly. It's just a bit grim. Like someone said further back, chomping on food when you're walking along, (especially when someone's trying to talk to you,) is awful etiquette! Food falling on the floor, looking for something to wipe your mouth with, and talking with food in your mouth... It's all just terribly tacky and ill-mannered... And these people who do this ALWAYS having something stuck in their teeth afterwards!

Just ewwww. 😖

I saw a man munching a burger when I was at the beach last week, (he was with a woman who was not eating anything.) He had a full beard, and had mustard, tomato ketchup, breadcrumbs, and lettuce all over his beard, literally covered in it all. I don't care if this makes me sound dramatic, I felt physically sick and wished I hadn't glanced over at him. 🤢 THIS is the reason why many women despise beards on men.

But yeah, JMO, but if I see someone walking along pushing hot food into their face (not eating an ice cream or a bit of fruit, but an actual burger or chips or sausage roll etc,) I would be pretty certain that they've been raised with bad manners. It's grim and looks tacky af.

Some posters on here have clearly been raised with different standards to some others!

Genuinely amused at how many people think walking and eating is bad manners. Why? It doesn't impact on anyone else, as long as any litter goes in a bin, then there's no problem.

He was embarrassed by your lack of manners. How hungry were you that you needed to be walking along guzzling a sandwich?

It's clearly not "outdated" though, is it? Plenty of people on MN/this thread agree that they wouldn't do it and don't like it.

How does one guzzle a sandwich?
Does not sitting down while eating mean you have to ram the full sandwich in your gob or something? 😂

No wonder there are so many single people looking for love if walking and eating constitutes a red flag.

I think it maybe was seen as bad manners years ago but surely not now with street food being widely acceptable! Keep an eye out OP and if you feel that he's making you uncomfortable then don't continue to date him.

I also think people are missing the point (and I was brought up to think eating and walking was common).

The date had no right to insist OP did something she didn’t want to do.

Would the responses be the same if OP had ordered a pint and her date insisted she have a wine instead?

This is a double whammy of ill-manneredness - eating on the street while walking (sloppy etc), and eating in the presence of someone who is not eating. The origin of good manners is making others feel comfortable. Your date felt uncomfortable.

I’d have no issue with you eating and walking while alone, but for me the fact that you got out your leftovers and ate them while he had nothing would have seemed a bit odd. It would seem odd to me if you were sitting on a bench too.

I also wouldn’t order food to eat if nobody else was ordering anything, unless it was something shareable - just brought up to find it a bit antisocial if you are in a group.

I said, thanks, but I'm ok honestly I don't mind walking around with it. He said, no I insist you sit down. I said again that I was honestly ok walking with it but he was absolutely adamant that we sat down.

I'm conflicted on this because I don't know where it took place - there are some places in the world where you would have been absolutely reasonable to walk around eating a sandwich and his objection would have been odd, and some where walking around eating a sandwich would have been clearly unacceptable.

I'd normally think: if it WERE clearly unacceptable, how would you not know, unless perhaps you were new in the country/area? But you have said that you are out of the loop so I have no idea. So do you think that he has a much better idea than you about what is acceptable in some very rigid society? If you think that he is much more likely than you to be right - not because he has a penis but because he is much more familiar with contemporary local culture - then I'd maybe put away the sandwich, but also ask him to explain his logic to me so I don't make the same mistake again.