AIBU to leave my partner if he doesn’t put his divorce through

[lamumhere]

Hi I’ve been with my partner for a year and a half. He told me he was still legally married to his ex, after a couple of weeks of being together. At that point I said he would need to get divorced soon because I don’t want to carry on a relationship with someone who is still legally married
theyve been split for 7 years and they have kids together who live with him full time.
I’ve met them, been to his house loads etc so there is no worry that he’s still with her and pretending not to be.
he keeps saying “ i will put the divorce through” has said it for the last year, it’s always, “I’ll do it at the end of next month”
ive explained what it means to me over and over and he knows i wont wait forever. He says it’s the financial cost that stops him.

it’s not that I’m desperate to marry him, it’s just that I hate the thought he is still tied to her.

so am I being unreasonable to be pissed off that he isn’t putting it through, and would you leave someone if they didn’t do it soon?

For me personally, I would not get involved with a man who was still married. End of. Just don’t want this kind of complication down the line … but here you are. Again, just my take, but I would give him a deadline and mean it.

Hi OP, I thought about your post the other day whilst on MN.

Did your boyfriend file the divorce paperwork in the end?

I think if he wanted to be divorced he would be divorced.

I wouldn't want to marry a man who couldn't manage to get divorced, has supposedly risked his own financial security to cover his wife's fraudulent dealings, has no house and a couple of dependent teenagers who live with him fulltime and that's just the stuff you know. He wants to get married and you seemingly want to get married and buy a house with this man who can't seemingly either organse or fund a divorce or even own assets without his current wife having a claim. What could possibly go wrong?

Don't be worrying about his divorce but think really hard about marrying this man and sharing your assets with him and the teenagers who will be living with you in the house you buy. There is no man as loving as a man in need of a house. By your own admission you believe what people tell you. That is a very dangerous attitude to have - you have children you need to protect - and you are likely planning to tie yourself to a very feckless man. He might have a good salary but he hasn't accumulated much in the way of assets has he? Does he really have savings? Before my husband and I married we knew exactly the details of our respective financial positions. I would never have got engaged without knowing what I was signing up for.

Hi, thanks for asking. Yes he put it through a few months ago, and now in the final stages, should be finished by April.
so happy xx