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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think that if you commit a male crime, you should do male time, even if you identify as a woman?

1000 replies

TheAvidAmberPeer · 01/10/2025 21:09

I know this is a sensitive topic but I’ve been thinking about how justice systems handle trans women who commit serious crimes, especially violent or sexual offences, and whether it’s fair to house them in women’s prisons. To me, if you were born male and commit a crime typically associated with male offenders, particularly one involving violence against women, it seems like common sense that you should serve time in a male facility. Identity doesn’t erase biology or risk in those cases.

AIBU to think fairness and safety, especially for vulnerable female prisoners, should come before ideology?

OP posts:
Thread gallery
10
Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 09:18

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:15

Why? Because speaking about Black Lives Matter has nothing to do with supporting predators?" Perhaps?

Right.

Just as speaking about the rights of trans people has nothing to do with....... [complete the sentence]

But surely any man who enters female single sex spaces against the law is a predator and there for nefarious purposes. Why else would a man enter a female single sex spaces against the when he knows this is against the law and may cause women distress. I mean, by your analogy, a burglar is totally ok to enter someone’s house if he wants to, even though he knows it’s against the law.

Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 09:20

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:18

and using the wrong words causes people unimaginable distress and trauma.

Some words, in some context, can be profoundly hurtful. It does not follow that all words are hurtful and no one is allowed to use arguments to express disagreement with each other.

Not sure why I need to explain this to you.

Ah. Please can you give me a list of words thst are considered profoundly hurtful. I know you find the word “no” difficult, but what others are there? Also, men are not allowed in female single sex spaces, even if they claim to be women.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:21

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 09:15

Some black men are criminals/predators too. And? You made the blanket statement that trans people
aren’t predators. That was blatantly untrue.

Some black men are criminals/predators too. And?

And yet it would be flagrantly racist to suggest that someone speaking about Black Lives Matter was therefore supporting the rights of predators.

If someone said this a perfectly reasonable retort would be to challenge the racist stereotype/ generalisation- eg "black people are not predators. This is racism".

Kucinghitam · 04/10/2025 09:22

The Righteous has already confirmed on the other thread that they don't accept that Wrongthinkers (aka partially-sentient service bipeds) can even have non-approved emotions.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:23

Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 09:20

Ah. Please can you give me a list of words thst are considered profoundly hurtful. I know you find the word “no” difficult, but what others are there? Also, men are not allowed in female single sex spaces, even if they claim to be women.

Please can you give me a list of words thst are considered profoundly hurtful

No.

TheKeatingFive · 04/10/2025 09:23

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:15

Why? Because speaking about Black Lives Matter has nothing to do with supporting predators?" Perhaps?

Right.

Just as speaking about the rights of trans people has nothing to do with....... [complete the sentence]

This is confusing rights and safeguarding

Rights are not taken from whole groups because some predators exist within them. That's correct.

However safeguarding does take decisions on the basis of likely risk.

This issue is not about rights. There is no human right for a man to use the intimate spaces of women.

This issue is about safeguarding. Women's single sex spaces were established because, unfortunately, men constitute a much higher risk to women than women to women or women to men. Single sex spaces are necessary for women's safety and dignity.

So the question remains, on what grounds would we make exceptions for this one group of men? There is no evidence they are less of threat to women than other men, we already know there are predators within this group. There is absolutely zero justification for making an exception for them.

Namelessnelly · 04/10/2025 09:24

Kucinghitam · 04/10/2025 09:22

The Righteous has already confirmed on the other thread that they don't accept that Wrongthinkers (aka partially-sentient service bipeds) can even have non-approved emotions.

Oh yes. And that rape survivors who would find sharing spaces with trans identified males extremely traumatising, were not going to be as traumatised as the men denied entry to those spaces. I found that particularly disgusting.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:24

TheKeatingFive · 04/10/2025 09:23

This is confusing rights and safeguarding

Rights are not taken from whole groups because some predators exist within them. That's correct.

However safeguarding does take decisions on the basis of likely risk.

This issue is not about rights. There is no human right for a man to use the intimate spaces of women.

This issue is about safeguarding. Women's single sex spaces were established because, unfortunately, men constitute a much higher risk to women than women to women or women to men. Single sex spaces are necessary for women's safety and dignity.

So the question remains, on what grounds would we make exceptions for this one group of men? There is no evidence they are less of threat to women than other men, we already know there are predators within this group. There is absolutely zero justification for making an exception for them.

Rights are not taken from whole groups because some predators exist within them. That's correct.

thank you.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 09:26

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:21

Some black men are criminals/predators too. And?

And yet it would be flagrantly racist to suggest that someone speaking about Black Lives Matter was therefore supporting the rights of predators.

If someone said this a perfectly reasonable retort would be to challenge the racist stereotype/ generalisation- eg "black people are not predators. This is racism".

Edited

It would only be reasonable if someone had said ALL black people are predators. No one has said this. Just like no one has said ALL black people aren’t predators because some, are.

So, we’ll try again. You said trans people aren’t predators. Blanket statement.

How. Do. You. Explain. The. Ones. Who. Are? I can give you a few names if you’re struggling?

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:27

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 09:26

It would only be reasonable if someone had said ALL black people are predators. No one has said this. Just like no one has said ALL black people aren’t predators because some, are.

So, we’ll try again. You said trans people aren’t predators. Blanket statement.

How. Do. You. Explain. The. Ones. Who. Are? I can give you a few names if you’re struggling?

please read posts above. It would be a perfectly reasonable retort to challenge the racist generalisation/ stereotype, regardless of the word "ALL". It doesn't need to include the word "all" to be very evidently a flagrantly racist association/ generalisation to equate support for Black Lives Matter to support for "predators".

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 09:30

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:27

please read posts above. It would be a perfectly reasonable retort to challenge the racist generalisation/ stereotype, regardless of the word "ALL". It doesn't need to include the word "all" to be very evidently a flagrantly racist association/ generalisation to equate support for Black Lives Matter to support for "predators".

Edited

I have. You still haven’t explained how ALL trans people aren’t predators when there’s evidence to the contrary, or, like I’ve asked for now the third time, how do you explain the ones who have been convicted of serious offences including sexual crimes.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 09:30

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:18

and using the wrong words causes people unimaginable distress and trauma.

Some words, in some context, can be profoundly hurtful. It does not follow that all words are hurtful and no one is allowed to use arguments to express disagreement with each other.

Not sure why I need to explain this to you.

If other people acknowledging reality causes people distress and trauma, they need significant mental health support, don’t they?

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:31

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 09:30

I have. You still haven’t explained how ALL trans people aren’t predators when there’s evidence to the contrary, or, like I’ve asked for now the third time, how do you explain the ones who have been convicted of serious offences including sexual crimes.

Assss above .

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:32

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 09:30

If other people acknowledging reality causes people distress and trauma, they need significant mental health support, don’t they?

Could you be more specific?

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 09:33

to quote you: no.

JacknDiane · 04/10/2025 09:34

Namelessnelly · 01/10/2025 21:25

To be honest I don’t care what crime a man has committed. If imprisoned, he needs to go into male prison, whatever identity he is claiming. If he’s uncomfortable in prison, that is not women’s problem to solve.

This, absolutely.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 09:35

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:31

Assss above .

So you can’t answer as you know fine well there’s trans predators. So you avoid addressing your lie.

Thanks, it’s all there for people to see. Maybe don’t make blanket false statements lies in future.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:35

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 09:33

to quote you: no.

Excellent. Well in that case I am unable to respond to your question as it's impossibly vague.
For the best as we've been down this road many times and you are impervious to any challenge of your ideology.

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:36

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 09:35

So you can’t answer as you know fine well there’s trans predators. So you avoid addressing your lie.

Thanks, it’s all there for people to see. Maybe don’t make blanket false statements lies in future.

ive answered you above. The failure to grasp the response is a you problem that I am unable to resolve.

Wishing14 · 04/10/2025 09:40

The fact that it even needs to be said is ridiculous. Men cannot become women. Women cannot become men. If necessary, a third space.

AccidentallyWesAnderson · 04/10/2025 09:40

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:36

ive answered you above. The failure to grasp the response is a you problem that I am unable to resolve.

You answering something I’ve not asked is very
much a you problem.

Explain trans predators. Do you want a few names? It’s very simple.

Wishing14 · 04/10/2025 09:41

By not fighting for third spaces it’s almost like trans people are saying they don’t exist, which is literal violence

Alucard55 · 04/10/2025 09:44

Tandora · 04/10/2025 08:51

I really don't have the energy to spell it out for you today. I suggest you read some statements / material from trans actual who speak on behalf of both trans women and trans men.

https://transactual.org.uk/blog/2025/04/16/response-by-transactual-to-supreme-court-ruling-on-equality-act/

(of course you won't read this, because you're not actually the least bit interested or concerned about trans men).

Ok. I've read this. It's very general and doesn't go into specifics.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 09:47

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:35

Excellent. Well in that case I am unable to respond to your question as it's impossibly vague.
For the best as we've been down this road many times and you are impervious to any challenge of your ideology.

You’re the one with the ideology @Tandora and I have no idea what you get out of being shown to be wrong so many times across so many threads.

Ereshkigalangcleg · 04/10/2025 09:53

Tandora · 04/10/2025 09:23

Please can you give me a list of words thst are considered profoundly hurtful

No.

I guess people are going to keep on innocently saying them in ignorance of their profoundly hurtful nature then. Not very civic minded of you to keep that knowledge from us @Tandora

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