To want my child to have cosmetic surgery?

[Savethewhales1]

I have an 8 year old DD, her ears have always protruded quite significantly. Up until recently, shes never mentioned them, nobodies ever mentioned them to her. She was recently part of a weddings bridal party and while getting ready made a number of comments about her “elf ears”. It’s the first time I’d ever heard her mention them and made me really sad.

I’d like to solve this problem now, as I believe it will likely become an area of great insecurity for her in the future and avoid any teasing down the line (girls can be cruel). I also believe it may be available on the NHS while she’s a child. However, I don’t want to make her self conscious of her ears if she isn’t and cause the insecurity.

So, AIBU?
YANBU - get them pinned back
YABU - don’t risk making her insecure if she isn’t

Cosmetic surgery is never available on the NHS to any age group, and rightly so.

Just imagine wasting public money on cosmetic enhancements for children that were not medically necessary?

Absolutely ridiculous.

Well that's not true is it? Some forms of cosmetic surgery, including ear pinning, are available on the NHS.
www.nhs.uk/tests-and-treatments/cosmetic-procedures/advice/cosmetic-procedures-on-the-nhs/

Honestly a friend of mine had similar ears and was absolutley tortured during her teen years about them. As soon as she started working she took out a loan and got them done at 19. She is quite resentful towards her parents for her teenage years. Another friends son had them done this summer at 13. He was off sport for 4 weeks but that was the worst lt it . I'd view it the same way I would with braces etc and would get it done in a heart beat.

Eh? My son had an adenotonsillectory just 2 years ago..?

Get them pinned. Its a handy ENT procedure. She's already insecure.

It costs around 5k to get it done as an adult and most of the time it doesn't work. They need to be young.

Hi
i was in the same boat with my DD but I didn’t want to make a thing of it and give her any sort of complex about it and to me she is/was perfect.
So we waited but high school was a problem as some kids are basically little shits.
There was name calling and bullying and of course teenagers become more self conscious about their appearance and don’t like to be different to the others
For us it was a case of going to GP and getting a referral
A word of warning, do some research and choose a specialist surgeon as DD had 2 failures of this simple procedure until someone did it correctly
Positive end is that it worked out fine and she has beautiful ears ( even though I always thought they were beautiful as they were) and is a confident 20 something young woman

Shows you don’t know very much 🤷‍♀️

Thank you. No wonder the NHS is on its knees if it's funding non essential things like this.

Non essential in your view. Not everyone else shares that view - professionals, funding bodies etc.

Well as I said, I'm surprised and somewhat disappointed by that. I mean if they have enough money to help people with life threatening illnesses and then there's some left over, great. But otherwise it shouldn't take priority. Yes, it is my opinion but I can't be alone in my thinking.

My stepson had it done when he was about 5-he's 33 now. NHS. His Mum was very 'no nonsense' and essentially said she got it done 'as he looked like the FA Cup' and she didn't want him being bullied. He doesn't remember anything about the procedure or recovery now, other than he got custard pudding regularly as a treat afterwards.

I'd get it done OP. Or at least look into it, as it seems she's already aware of it if she's commented (if I've read correctly).

Editng to add. It's a much easier and more likely successful op as a child than as an adult-and an adult can definitely not get it on the NHS as far as I am aware-it can be up to £6K as an adult. If it is going to be done I'd do it now.

There’s clearly ‘enough’ money otherwise operations wouldn’t be going ahead. It’s not taking priority over other procedures. But where do you then draw the line in your thinking? Life threatening illnesses .. what if they’re caused by the patients life and health decisions - lung cancer in a smoker, liver disease in an alcoholic, organ failure in a drug user .. 🤔🤷‍♀️

Growing up with sticky out ears I was very conscious of them & was slightly bullied at school. I wanted them pinned back from the age of about 7 years old but my parents wouldn't entertain the idea. I had them pinned back aged 19 & while they look ok I'm still conscious of them not looking perfect. My Son has sticky out ears too & has never been bothered or bullied about them & has in fact grown into them.
I'd wait until your Daughter comes to you & if she's bothered by her ears chat to her about it & go from there. Don't mention surgery to her as it may not bother her at all & it's no good making her self conscious unnecessarily

I'd get it done OP, I see no difference between this and getting teeth straightened, which is completely normalised - and funded by the NHS in many, many cases.