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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

672 replies

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 17:56

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

OP posts:
Sunloungerhogger · 01/10/2025 19:03

Sorry OP but I would be really cross if I had gone to a spa and there were children there watching an iPad with sound on (even if low - it’s frankly very annoying), or even just making normal children noises - people go to spas to relax and hearing children there isn’t, I’m afraid, relaxing, even if they’re well behaved.

LouiseK93 · 01/10/2025 19:10

What do you mean you "didnt want to make a fuss"? You WERE making a fuss asking repeatedly when you were told no.

Chinsupmeloves · 01/10/2025 19:30

No is no for everyone really.

GinaMan · 01/10/2025 19:37

Echoing what others have said when you mentioned ‘turning the volume down or even off’ as if it’s some valiant act of service for everyone else. It’s totally unacceptable to let your children play their iPads or whatever else in public at any level. I wouldn’t have pushed the issue, it was nice for them to allow you to reschedule rather than treating it as a no show appointment

SemiRetiredLoveGoddeess · 01/10/2025 19:41

Now you know wny they have a no kids policy. Some parents think the children can go anywhere and do anything they want really.

Kids and dog owners seem to have taken over. The whole world has to dance around them. They are the prority!!!

Joloman74 · 01/10/2025 19:53

It's really not an ideal place for children to be! Adults go there to relax for their treatments and escape from children and partners for some me time. Also leaving them in reception then makes them somebody else's responsibility to watch. You don't even know what their insurance covers either if there was an accident. I also think it's unfair on children to be taken to places like that where they get bored. There is plenty of other times and days you could go when they are at school and nursery. I think it is unreasonable of you to expect any business to be okay with your situation just because it suits you. In future, make your appointments for when you are child free. Sorry it's a negative response. I've got 4 children so I do have some understanding.

Mrsgreen100 · 01/10/2025 19:58

Oh my goodness you’re insane. Why on earth would you want to take such young girls to a nail bar? We should be discouraging our children to do this kind of thing
not showing them it !

Bobiverse · 01/10/2025 20:05

Don’t know if anyone has linked to this thread yet but thought some might enjoy it. People do worse than the OP!

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/5295103-for-telling-my-friend-she-was-ridiculous-to-bring-a-7-year-old-for-a-spa-day

Joloman74 · 01/10/2025 20:06

autienotnaughty · 29/09/2025 18:25

This happened to me with a 8 and 10 year old. I was annoyed because I’d taken them before and had no issues and they had cancelled my appointment last minute and only had this time available when I had my kids with me. They were shitty with me so I took my business elsewhere where and left a review detailing their poor customer service skills.

They were probably glad that you never went back ! Just because they tolerated it on a previous occasion doesn't mean your entitled to keep doing it! The thanks they got aswell was a complaint! People that behave like yourself when they don't get their own way don't deserve understanding and leniency in my opinion!

Redpeach · 01/10/2025 20:09

OrlaMcCool · 30/09/2025 17:04

I can’t believe people are still commenting on this thread without reading my posts and repeating the same things that are inaccurate or about the iPad when I have said I’ll keep the volume off in future.

I said I accepted I was unreasonable and I would apologise. I also said I didn’t realise having the iPad volume on low was such a big issue, I will be using headphones in future, a pp made a suggestion about just using one in the ear which is good.
I have had the iPad on a very low volume in multiple places and no one has ever looked bothered or commented. I don’t have it on loud enough for anyone to hear in a place with other background noise.

I will point out one final time that I don’t let my kids run round bothering people.
The iPad isn’t on “full blast” like multiple people have suggested.
I wasn’t expecting the receptionist to babysit.
My girls aren’t being “dragged there” tired after school, they enjoy it.
I don’t let my daughters pester people and chat to them for ages. If they are sat by someone they have a polite interaction like most people would, would people be as angry if an adult commented that their nails looked nice and they had chosen a nice colour? If that person then carried on the conversation would you ignore them?
I don’t let my kids keep talking to someone not engaging and stand by my point that if you can’t interact briefly with a polite child then it is your issue. I could understand it if it was an attention seeking toddler showing toys and I ignored them.

I accepted I was wrong to keep asking and it wasn’t the best idea after reading comments that mentioned insurance and the fact that if you allow some kids you need to allow all. I also have heard it loud and clear that people don’t want to see kids when they are having a break from their own, that’s understandable 😂. I suppose I had separated having nails done and relaxing treatments as they are in separate area in the spa.
I find having my nails done a chore to do and it’s not relaxing for me but that’s probably because I usually go to a noisy nail bar with people chatting, kids having nails done themselves and music on.

Thank you to the few people who read my posts are were understanding and kind.
I bet I’m wasting my time and no one will read this and the same comments will continue and keep being exaggerated. I’m expecting to read I stormed the place next with a coach full of toddlers all carrying blaring iPads and waving for attention! 😂.

No-one has ever looked bothered or commented? You don't think they could just be avoiding confrontation?

Daisymay1000 · 01/10/2025 20:13

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 17:56

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

I work in a salon and remind my clients please don’t bring your children. Other people as they say are there for treatments and honestly there is NOTHING more annoying than a iPad with children’s stuff on whilst trying to work or relax. It’s not the place for children sorry. Especially a hotel spa.

Spinmerightroundbaby · 01/10/2025 20:29

TeaForTheTillermanSteakForTheSun · 29/09/2025 17:59

They initially said no and you kept pushing it, no wonder they were less patient than you hoped.

Why didn't you call ahead and ask if they would be OK if you took your dc in? Would have saved a lot of hassle.

This. A spa is quite different from a nail bar.

Thisworldsnofun · 01/10/2025 20:47

The issue for the salon is that if they make an exception for one person, they have to do it for everyone. Not every person has children who are well behaved. Some of the chemicals in nails salons are really dangerous and they can't take the risk of children messing with them and getting hurt. The products used are expensive to stock as well so there's financial considerations too. There's also a strong likelihood that the salon is not insured for children being on the premises. It sucks but that's how it is.

MissDoubleU · 01/10/2025 20:54

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:09

I should have called ahead and asked but I am aI used to taking them with me that I didn’t think it would be an issue.

I wasn’t being overly pushy and was clearly upset, they could have been kinder instead of guarding the door in a hostile way.

Show quote history

You could have accepted the No that was given to you - instead you continued to be pushy and emotionally manipulating the situation by getting upset and expecting it to change their answer. It’s entirely on you.

JungAtHeart · 01/10/2025 20:57

I think if 96% choose YABU it’s time to stop arguing your point … you were being unreasonable. You wanted your needs to be accommodated regardless if their company policy …

2Rebecca · 01/10/2025 21:03

2 primary school age children occupying 2 seats in a reception area where someone else would have to supervise them because you are unavailable is unreasonable. 2 children often wind each other up as well.

pineapplecrushed · 01/10/2025 21:13

This just sounds like an example of current society's problem with entitlement and lack of resilience. It's a spa for adults. And no, they don't have to tiptoe around you.

Cherrytree86 · 01/10/2025 21:13

Mrsgreen100 · 01/10/2025 19:58

Oh my goodness you’re insane. Why on earth would you want to take such young girls to a nail bar? We should be discouraging our children to do this kind of thing
not showing them it !

@Mrsgreen100

why?? What’s wrong with getting one’s nails done? Do you think it diminishes your IQ?

OneKhakiFish · 01/10/2025 21:22

This has got nothing to do with headphones , noise, ipads or sitting quuet. YABU. Its No cildren, The first No and you should have left,

pineapplecrushed · 01/10/2025 21:24

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:48

I feel like people are focusing on the wrong things like the iPad volume.

I accept I shouldn’t have brought them to the appointment and I’m taking in points people have made. A pp mentioned insurance which I hadn’t considered.

I was posting about the way I was treated though, I was asking if I am unreasonable to be upset about it?
My daughters were really upset when we left especially from seeing me upset, I feel like it couldn’t have been handled better and they could have spoken to me in a kinder way.

Show quote history

you got overly emotional and upset which caused your kids to be upset? That is a 'you' problem I'm afraid, and in no way their fault. You are the parent, they are not responsible for your child's emotions.

NoDought · 01/10/2025 21:25

Of course you are being unreasonable, you expected them to be polite after they repeatedly said no and you kept bargaining. The ‘low as possible comment’ on the iPad comment suggests that had you not been challenged you would have allowed them to play on the iPad with no headphones which is crackers, entitled behaviour for any public space let alone a relaxing adult only spa.

Kitkatfiend31 · 01/10/2025 21:38

A spa is a very different vibe to a walk in nail bar. Most as spas are under 16 or 18. They can't make an exception as otherwise they have to let everyone. Just go somewhere else.

Owl55 · 01/10/2025 21:43

I’m just looking at a spa break and it’s costing about £80-125. I honestly would not want children ( however well behaved) around as this is my treat away from kids .

autienotnaughty · 01/10/2025 21:45

Joloman74 · 01/10/2025 20:06

They were probably glad that you never went back ! Just because they tolerated it on a previous occasion doesn't mean your entitled to keep doing it! The thanks they got aswell was a complaint! People that behave like yourself when they don't get their own way don't deserve understanding and leniency in my opinion!

Show quote history

They hadn’t tolerated on a previous occasion. They had had no issue with kids previously, mine and other customers. I’ve no idea why they changed their mind. But my issue was with their rudeness.
I wasn’t the only person to stop going and they had shut down less than a year later.

berightorbehappy · 01/10/2025 22:40

They said no ..l’d have been a bit annoyed with myself that l hadn’t checked but would have accepted it. Pushing it by suggesting they bend the rules for you is probably why they were so shirty. To be honest you seem disproportionately upset .