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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

672 replies

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 17:56

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

OP posts:
Rooit · 30/09/2025 17:40

This reply has been deleted

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QueenClinomania · 30/09/2025 17:43

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2025 15:50

In strict grammatical terms, you are correct, @Allthatshines1992 - however, language and its usage does change over time, and using quotation marks to show a word or phrase is being used with irony or scepticism, as @SiameseBlueEyes says.

And it should be ‘confidently incorrect’ not ‘confidentially incorrect’.

the written form of air quotes perhaps?
Air quotes are used in sarcastic etc ways

ContraversialDo · 30/09/2025 18:20

OP I get why you thought it would be ok. I get my nails done in a lovely salon and lots of customers bring their kids in, they sit and play with iPads or read a book it’s fine. Lots of them don’t use headphones and in the general hustle and bustle it’s not a problem.

The only thing I think you did wrong was trying to push it when they said no. You say you wanted them to be kinder- they were kind enough the first two times you asked. The owner had to step in so of course she was going to be sharp by that point.

Stick to family run small salons that cater to people in your situation as the salon I use does. There is a place to suit everyone, this one just wasn’t for you.

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2025 18:44

QueenClinomania · 30/09/2025 17:43

the written form of air quotes perhaps?
Air quotes are used in sarcastic etc ways

Yes - that is what I meant - but worded better - thank you, @QueenClinomania.

Cherrytree86 · 30/09/2025 18:59

Allthatshines1992 · 30/09/2025 15:21

I was joking about. Yeah, she was confidently incorrect but we're all incorrect about some things sometimes. It's nice to lighten the mood sometimes and not just be a hateful old crone on the Internet

Edited

@Allthatshines1992

ooh, misogynistic AND ageist!

has someone had a bad day??

Allthatshines1992 · 30/09/2025 19:09

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 30/09/2025 15:50

In strict grammatical terms, you are correct, @Allthatshines1992 - however, language and its usage does change over time, and using quotation marks to show a word or phrase is being used with irony or scepticism, as @SiameseBlueEyes says.

And it should be ‘confidently incorrect’ not ‘confidentially incorrect’.

Quotation marks are for quotes. Using them for other things is incorrect. You can Google this easily

Allthatshines1992 · 30/09/2025 19:11

Cherrytree86 · 30/09/2025 18:59

@Allthatshines1992

ooh, misogynistic AND ageist!

has someone had a bad day??

Exhibit A

Allthatshines1992 · 30/09/2025 19:16

OrlaMcCool · 30/09/2025 17:04

I can’t believe people are still commenting on this thread without reading my posts and repeating the same things that are inaccurate or about the iPad when I have said I’ll keep the volume off in future.

I said I accepted I was unreasonable and I would apologise. I also said I didn’t realise having the iPad volume on low was such a big issue, I will be using headphones in future, a pp made a suggestion about just using one in the ear which is good.
I have had the iPad on a very low volume in multiple places and no one has ever looked bothered or commented. I don’t have it on loud enough for anyone to hear in a place with other background noise.

I will point out one final time that I don’t let my kids run round bothering people.
The iPad isn’t on “full blast” like multiple people have suggested.
I wasn’t expecting the receptionist to babysit.
My girls aren’t being “dragged there” tired after school, they enjoy it.
I don’t let my daughters pester people and chat to them for ages. If they are sat by someone they have a polite interaction like most people would, would people be as angry if an adult commented that their nails looked nice and they had chosen a nice colour? If that person then carried on the conversation would you ignore them?
I don’t let my kids keep talking to someone not engaging and stand by my point that if you can’t interact briefly with a polite child then it is your issue. I could understand it if it was an attention seeking toddler showing toys and I ignored them.

I accepted I was wrong to keep asking and it wasn’t the best idea after reading comments that mentioned insurance and the fact that if you allow some kids you need to allow all. I also have heard it loud and clear that people don’t want to see kids when they are having a break from their own, that’s understandable 😂. I suppose I had separated having nails done and relaxing treatments as they are in separate area in the spa.
I find having my nails done a chore to do and it’s not relaxing for me but that’s probably because I usually go to a noisy nail bar with people chatting, kids having nails done themselves and music on.

Thank you to the few people who read my posts are were understanding and kind.
I bet I’m wasting my time and no one will read this and the same comments will continue and keep being exaggerated. I’m expecting to read I stormed the place next with a coach full of toddlers all carrying blaring iPads and waving for attention! 😂.

This hyperbole is seems to be a common thing. I've seen it on a few threads where one person misunderstands one aspect of the post and makes a comment referencing their misinterpretation and loads of other people pile-on and repeat it over and over.

Allthatshines1992 · 30/09/2025 19:18

MNdrama · 30/09/2025 17:18

"I am going to post one last time"

Yet, 7 comments later, here you are still posting

Why shouldn't she post?

Rooit · 30/09/2025 19:22

Allthatshines1992 · 30/09/2025 19:18

Why shouldn't she post?

That poster was just observing fact op repeatedly had said it’s her last post
but then returns

it was an observation

shuggles · 30/09/2025 19:31

Cherrytree86 · 29/09/2025 23:48

@shuggles

women can talk about whatever they want in a spa, including sex, they don’t have to censor themselves because they are in an ADULT ONLY environment (or it should be).

I didn't say that women can't talk about sex in a nail spa. I was saying that it would be highly strange and unusual to talk about sex with someone who is providing a professional service.

If I tried to talk about sex with my barber, he would likely punch me in the mouth. And equally, I would punch him in the mouth if he tried to talk about sex.

Talking about sex when receiving a service... how weird...

UnderstoodBetsy · 30/09/2025 19:37

Oh, enough of the wounded victim nonsense. Seriously. Why is that when people are in the wrong they immediately claim that other people are "twisting" their words or taking things out of context. At least you've admitted you were wrong, which is more than some MNers manage to do when posting on AIBU.

But you know why PPs have mentioned the iPad issue so often? Because this is what you said in your OP, "my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off." Saying that you could turn the volume down or even off certainly suggests that you originally had no intention of doing either and were using this offer as some sort of odd bargaining chip. Although the iPad wasn't the main issue, it is part of the context. Why you refused to just accept that children aren't permitted at this spa is beyond me.

And you also said that everyone should tolerate a 5-minute conversation with polite children. If your kids are engaging strangers in conversations that long, can't you see why people would find it annoying? I mean, a brief interaction is one thing. But five minutes can seem like an eternity if a 5-year-old is telling you all about her favourite colours or whatever.

Rooroobear · 30/09/2025 19:37

And yet again it’s you, op, who is still not understanding. It is not any other persons issue to not want to talk to a “polite” child. If you’re paying for a service where it’s meant to be adults only and a child is talking to you whilst you’re trying to relax it’s the parents problem. I don’t want to make polite chat with any other customers whilst I’m getting my nails done, let alone a child. You need to accept that.

Cherrytree86 · 30/09/2025 19:43

shuggles · 30/09/2025 19:31

I didn't say that women can't talk about sex in a nail spa. I was saying that it would be highly strange and unusual to talk about sex with someone who is providing a professional service.

If I tried to talk about sex with my barber, he would likely punch me in the mouth. And equally, I would punch him in the mouth if he tried to talk about sex.

Talking about sex when receiving a service... how weird...

@shuggles

punching in the mouth is a bit extreme…

have you ever considered getting help for your anger issues?

Cherrytree86 · 30/09/2025 19:46

Allthatshines1992 · 30/09/2025 19:11

Exhibit A

@Allthatshines1992

what are you on about??

your post WAS both misogynistic and ageist.

im gonna assume you aren’t being serious with it.

shuggles · 30/09/2025 19:49

Cherrytree86 · 30/09/2025 19:43

@shuggles

punching in the mouth is a bit extreme…

have you ever considered getting help for your anger issues?

I don't have anger issues.

Punching in the mouth is not extreme in response to unwanted sexual dialogue. I'm fairly certain that most people on mumsnet would agree with that.

Cherrytree86 · 30/09/2025 19:53

shuggles · 30/09/2025 19:49

I don't have anger issues.

Punching in the mouth is not extreme in response to unwanted sexual dialogue. I'm fairly certain that most people on mumsnet would agree with that.

@shuggles

hmmm.

also, you’re assuming it would be the nail technical talking to the client about sex. What if it was two clients, two friends say, having a chat about it, so a mutually agreeable conversation. Would you go around punching people in that instance?

UnderstoodBetsy · 30/09/2025 19:59

shuggles · 30/09/2025 19:49

I don't have anger issues.

Punching in the mouth is not extreme in response to unwanted sexual dialogue. I'm fairly certain that most people on mumsnet would agree with that.

Yikes. I would consider physical assault an extreme reaction to hearing someone talk about sex. I hope most people would agree.

Mookie81 · 30/09/2025 20:14

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:23

They enjoy going with me, I let them pick out my colours and they enjoy getting involved and sometimes chatting to other customers and staff. If I can see that someone isn’t keen on chatting then I redirect them back to the iPad.

The staff have never said anything about them not being welcome or I wouldn’t take them with me. Normally I’m more flexible but really wanted my nails doing for a special occasion.

Christ, it just gets worse!
No one wants to 'chat' to your kids while they're getting their treatments done!
Get a flipping clue woman!

ArtTheClownIsNotAMime · 30/09/2025 20:16

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Cherrytree86 · 30/09/2025 20:24

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@Allthatshines1992

how have people misunderstood your posts? They seemed pretty straightforward to me…

Sunshineandgrapefruit · 30/09/2025 20:27

Depends. If it was a beauty parlour/ spa then fine as long as they are within sight. If it was one of those nail ba a the yabu, the fumes are completely inappropriate for kids.

shuggles · 30/09/2025 20:40

UnderstoodBetsy · 30/09/2025 19:59

Yikes. I would consider physical assault an extreme reaction to hearing someone talk about sex. I hope most people would agree.

How could it ever be welcome for a service provider in a nail spa to start talking about sex?

Cherrytree86 · 30/09/2025 20:53

shuggles · 30/09/2025 20:40

How could it ever be welcome for a service provider in a nail spa to start talking about sex?

@shuggles

i wouldn’t give a shit if my nail technician started talking to me about sex 🤷‍♀️ just wouldn’t care. its just sex. No biggie.

shuggles · 30/09/2025 21:03

Cherrytree86 · 30/09/2025 20:53

@shuggles

i wouldn’t give a shit if my nail technician started talking to me about sex 🤷‍♀️ just wouldn’t care. its just sex. No biggie.

Yes, not creepy or weird for random men to talk to women about sex.