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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

672 replies

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 17:56

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

OP posts:
TheCosyViewer · 29/09/2025 18:09

You were actually going to allow your children to sit in a public space with their iPad without using headphones ?? Until you were told they weren’t welcome, then you said you’d keep volume as low as possible/off.

Such bad manners using devices in public spaces with volume up and no headphones.

You have no grounds to complain.

QuietLifeNoDrama · 29/09/2025 18:09

I’m afraid I have to say you were unreasonable as you didn’t accept no for an answer. It sounds like they got frustrated with you as you were expecting them to change the policy for you.

soundsofthevalley · 29/09/2025 18:09

Don’t take kids into spaces where adults expect to relax. The best kids in the world are not what you want to find when you’re paying for a nice treatment for yourself. And they won’t be insured, if anything were to happen.

Mikart · 29/09/2025 18:10

Just why would you do this?

FionnulaTheCooler · 29/09/2025 18:11

YABU. Your children's presence in a place where it's inappropriate for them to be is a nuisance.

unrsnblyannoyd · 29/09/2025 18:11

The salon may not be insured for children on the premises. If they aren’t in the room with you then who is watching them? If I walked into a spa and saw two children when I was planning a relaxing pamper session I’d be at best uncomfortable and narked but could just about tolerate in the waiting area. If I heard their iPad (no matter how low the volume) I’d be walking straight back out and telling the owner why. Of course it’s unreasonable.

Brightbluesomething · 29/09/2025 18:12

Completely unreasonable.

Jellybunny56 · 29/09/2025 18:12

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:09

I should have called ahead and asked but I am aI used to taking them with me that I didn’t think it would be an issue.

I wasn’t being overly pushy and was clearly upset, they could have been kinder instead of guarding the door in a hostile way.

Unless you apologised & left immediately when told no then YES you were pushy, and kindness goes both ways.

If you are hostile, refusing to leave and trying to bargain after being clearly told no, why would you be surprised to get the same behaviour back?

Everintroverte · 29/09/2025 18:12

I would be absolutely livid if I paid for a spa treatment and then had to listen to iPad audio! People not using headphones is one of my pet hates because it's so irritating hearing the tinny noise and it's so selfish and rude.

As a client I would have complained.

You were being very unreasonable begging them to let you still go in and I don't think they sound rude.

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:13

Doidontimmm · 29/09/2025 18:01

Please tell me you weren’t going to let them use their iPads without headphones. I would be so annoyed paying for a spa to have to listen to kids iPads.

It’s all separate treatment rooms and I was hoping they could sit in reception which is away from the treatment rooms.

I would have made sure the sound was as low as possible so you couldn’t hear it in the rooms of turned it off completely if there was any doubt. I wouldn’t have let them sit with it blaring at full volume.

One of the reasons I don’t use headphones is because then they can’t hear themselves and talk loudly, with the sound down really low they talk quietly.

OP posts:
FreyjaOfTheNorth · 29/09/2025 18:13

You’re going to complain to a hotel that a spa that rents space there (so not part of the actual hotel) was sticking to their “no children allowed” policy? Good luck with that. You clearly have not thought this through.

Get a babysitter and leave them at home if you want to go to an adults-only spa.

whimsicallyprickly · 29/09/2025 18:14

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:09

I should have called ahead and asked but I am aI used to taking them with me that I didn’t think it would be an issue.

I wasn’t being overly pushy and was clearly upset, they could have been kinder instead of guarding the door in a hostile way.

Or you could have acted in an adult and responsible way

MyAcornWood · 29/09/2025 18:15

How ridiculous. They had to, as you put it, act like bouncers because you were refusing to take no for an answer and getting overly emotional. The rules are the rules, what on earth would a complain achieve? ‘I felt like they were being mean because they stuck to the rules that everyone else follows’

Ilovegolf · 29/09/2025 18:15

Sorry op, YABU. My beauticians is also child free. It’s not uncommon.

Slothey · 29/09/2025 18:15

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:13

It’s all separate treatment rooms and I was hoping they could sit in reception which is away from the treatment rooms.

I would have made sure the sound was as low as possible so you couldn’t hear it in the rooms of turned it off completely if there was any doubt. I wouldn’t have let them sit with it blaring at full volume.

One of the reasons I don’t use headphones is because then they can’t hear themselves and talk loudly, with the sound down really low they talk quietly.

I’m sorry but this is immensely selfish. People don’t want to hear your kids’ iPads, or them talking loudly.

If you’re going to take them to adult-orientated spaces, teach them how to behave first.

ramonaquimby · 29/09/2025 18:15

Yeah I don't want to see or hear kids at any spa treatments, even if it's just nails

OneKeenPeachRaven · 29/09/2025 18:16

I would be incredibly pissed off if I went to a spa and there were kids sitting there on iPads. In fact, I'd be pretty pissed off if I went to a walk in nail bar and there were kids (or anyone else for that matter) playing things audibly on an iPad without headphones (even if 'turned down').

You were creating a nuisance OP and TBH, you should probably re-think all the other times you have your kids playing things out loud on iPads in public places. That behaviour is incredibly anti-social & rude.

TheCosyViewer · 29/09/2025 18:16

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:13

It’s all separate treatment rooms and I was hoping they could sit in reception which is away from the treatment rooms.

I would have made sure the sound was as low as possible so you couldn’t hear it in the rooms of turned it off completely if there was any doubt. I wouldn’t have let them sit with it blaring at full volume.

One of the reasons I don’t use headphones is because then they can’t hear themselves and talk loudly, with the sound down really low they talk quietly.

I’d suggest giving your children books to read instead of iPads while in public spaces if you don’t want them using headphones. You might think the volume turned down low won’t disturb anyone but it does and is such bad manners.

DaisyChain505 · 29/09/2025 18:16

If I’d spent money to have a relaxing day at a hotel spa and someone had bought two kids in with them whilst I was receiving treatments I’d be fuming. A spa is not a place for children. Adults spend a lot of money to go to these places to relax.

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 29/09/2025 18:16

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:13

It’s all separate treatment rooms and I was hoping they could sit in reception which is away from the treatment rooms.

I would have made sure the sound was as low as possible so you couldn’t hear it in the rooms of turned it off completely if there was any doubt. I wouldn’t have let them sit with it blaring at full volume.

One of the reasons I don’t use headphones is because then they can’t hear themselves and talk loudly, with the sound down really low they talk quietly.

Still unacceptable in a spa environment. The beauticians I use has a no under 16’s policy too - as much as you think other customers enjoy chatting to your daughters about colours and designs I’m not convinced they really do.

Worriedalltheday · 29/09/2025 18:16

OMG the entitled attitude of some people. How do you even think you can complain about this. The answer was NO. And you made a massive assumption based on your previous experiences

MrsPinkCock · 29/09/2025 18:16

YABU.

Nail bar, spa, hairdresser - you should leave the kids with a babysitter, not bring them with you. I’ve noticed an increasing trend of people dragging their kids along when it’s just not appropriate - even the best behaved kids in the world are still taking up space when they don’t have an appointment, and none of the above examples should be a three man event!

FreyjaOfTheNorth · 29/09/2025 18:17

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:09

I should have called ahead and asked but I am aI used to taking them with me that I didn’t think it would be an issue.

I wasn’t being overly pushy and was clearly upset, they could have been kinder instead of guarding the door in a hostile way.

It was you that said you were “begging” and “close to tears”.

PinkFlloyd · 29/09/2025 18:17

There's a huge difference between a walk-in nail bar and a private spa. I'd be really pissed off to head off for a child-free day of R&R in an adults only place to find your kids sat there. Surely you realise it's unreasonable? Please tell me you don't take them when you meet your friends too...

OrlaMcCool · 29/09/2025 18:18

Katherine9 · 29/09/2025 18:02

It’s generally accepted that under 18s are not allowed in spas.

It’s not a proper spa it’s more of a beauty salon. I think they just use spa in the name.

it’s all separate treatment rooms with appointments, if it had been a proper spa with relaxation areas then I wouldn’t have considered it.

They do nails in an open area right by reception so there was a waiting area where my daughters could have sat in full view.

OP posts: