Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

I have zero negative feelings towards someone with an ankle tag. We don't know why they have it, heck, environmental activism is being cracked down so could just be some rogue hippy

Was it the OP or OP's friend that kept bringing her annoyingly precocious kid along and including her in adult conversations about non-child friendly topics? She had a partner who could have looked after the kid, but the mum treated her like she was her best friend and would leave her alone because her bottom lip wobbled a bit. Or something like that.

I'm glad you mentioned this. Makes me wonder where we draw the line with barring people whom some would rather not see. People with melted faces from being in a house fire? People with historic self-harm scars everywhere? Black people with an African accent? People with tattoos? Anyone with a nose ring? Where does it start and end?

Exactly @Allthatshines1992 - I am instinctively liberal so it shouldn’t have bothered me at all iykwim. And yet it did, because I was drifting around in a robe, leaving valuables unattended to use the facilities etc, and it made me feel vulnerable even though logically/intellectually I know that 33% of all men have a criminal record anyway and you just don’t know which ones 🤷‍♀️

Maybe we should just ban men from spas, like the good old days!

You're not liberal, you're conservative like me. I agree with you!

How on earth is being uncomfortable by being confronted by the fact that someone has committed a crime the same as judging them for a physical feature?!

They enjoy going with me, I let them pick out my colours and they enjoy getting involved and sometimes chatting to other customers and staff. If I can see that someone isn’t keen on chatting then I redirect them back to the iPad.

My daughter would enjoy coming and picking colours and talking and getting involved - doesnt mean i take her! The world doesnt centre around her.

Im never going to be rude to a child and would politely grit my teeth and put up with it, but i would be thinking 'just fuck off' to someone else's child coming and 'chatting' to me while im having a beauty treatment. I go there for a bit of me time- away from my own children - I dont want to be talking to adults, let alone children.

Please stop putting other people in uncomfortable positions where they either have to suck it up not to be rude or tell you or your child to piss off.

sorry but YABVVU. It is a kid free place, end of. They can't just make an exception for you. Also, their ipads should be on silent or with headphones. It is extremely selfish to inflict noise on other people, even at low level. Swimming lessons used to be horrendous with various kids on various gadgets all with noise on. DD was never ever been allowed to have sound on, ever..

Make the appointments when you have child free time or don't go, or find a place that accepts kids quietly sat in the corner with no sound on.

This would drive me mad.

Just had my own entitled parent at a spa experience. Had paid for exclusive use of pool, showers, and changing rooms for 1 hour. The mother from the previous hour, was still there 15 minutes into my session, changing her screaming child by the side of the pool on a lounger. Could have at least taken the child to the changing rooms that were just outside the pool room. Grr.

The rules are clearly stated to be out for the next guests and you only have an hour slot in total.

It might be a good business idea to do a salon that caters for mums with kids, the kids colour etc whilst the mums get coloured, or just kid friendly sessions perhaps

OP I believe you when you say that your DD’s would be well behaved but there are kids who are their age who would spoil things for the other customers and employees.

You know how if their class teacher needed the loo during class time that they wouldn’t be allowed to quickly nip to the loo and leave the kids unattended? That’s because some kids would misbehave and do something dangerous.

Also you forget the obvious things like some parents having different standards for “good behaviour” I’ve seen parents watch their child do things like smack their sibling and the parent not react.

Indeed! I'm guessing mum wanted to meet her friend and had nobody to babysit so decided to bring the kid along with her and hope that other customers would entertain her child whilst she sat and had a gossip?!

But yeah it really beggars belief that anybody would think that was appropriate. Or that the place would allow it.

Mental isn't it?! The parents are also always either sat grinning and cooing over their "adorable" child running round the restaurant / bar/ salon or are sat completely engrossed in their phones and don't even realise what the kid is doing.

Someone upthread mentioned the girls should have been givien books rather than IPads. Unfortunately many children’s attention spans have been ruined by tablets to the point they’re incapable of sitting reading a book for any length of time.

My child is like this at the moment though I've never been to a spa or had my nails done, I certainly wouldn't bring her to such a place as she'd get upset about leaving the pool

If you had accepted being told no instead of arguing with them and suggesting ways they could let you have your way then nobody would have spoken rudely to you.

We dont allow children to wait here
Oh, im sorry, I didn't realise. I'm afraid I cant keep my appointment. I'll be in touch to see if i can arrange something else
thank you
bye.

That's not very maternal

What a peculiar post

That poster doesn’t even allude to being a mother and yet you “accuse” her of not being very “maternal”

This site is called Mumsnet. Why bother to use it if not a Mum and don't like kids? And why use quotation makes around the word "accuse"? You're not quoting anyone.

Oh dear 😆

I'm a Mum. I like kids. I dont however want to talk to random kids all the time, and particularly not in a spa when I am having relaxing adult time. I also dont want to listen to their ipads or them talking loud in a spa. And most people dont.

Do you have to be a mum to talk about TV, films, gardening, pets, women’s rights, fashion and beauty, current affairs, life geberally?

@Allthatshines1992 Speech marks can also be used to show a word or phrase is being used with irony or scepticism, or in a specialized or unfamiliar way. Just so you don't embarrass yourself in future.