Was I unreasonable to take my daughters with me to get my nails done?

[OrlaMcCool]

I changed my name for this because I’ve told other people about it.
I was planning on getting my nails done for a special occasion today and I went to a hotel spa I’d been given a voucher for.

I have taken my daughters (5 and 9) with me to a walk in nail bar before and they sit with snacks and their iPad.
No one has ever complained and some customers and the technicians seem to have enjoyed having them there and chatting about colours and designs. If it’s too busy for them to sit next to me then they sit in the waiting area.

The only suitable appointment was today at 4pm so after school. I had no choice so took my girls with me planning to do the same and let them sit and wait with their iPad.
When I arrived the woman on reception said in a really shitty tone of voice that kids weren’t allowed inside not even to wait quietly.
I said they would be really good but she said absolutely not because there were people in rooms having treatments and they wanted to keep a relaxing atmosphere.

I do understand this and didn’t realise that they did nails by the treatment rooms, I asked if there was anywhere else they could sit and I was practically begging.
Another woman came over and said she was the owner and said I needed to make another appointment. I explained I didn’t have a chance and that my daughters would be quiet and watch the lpad and I could turn the volume as low as possible or even turn it off, I was nearly in tears because I was embarrassed and frustrated.

The owner said that no children were allowed in the spa under any circumstances and was hostile and standing like a bouncer at the door. I left because I didn’t want to make a fuss but I was holding back tears and thought the way she spoke to me was rude and unfair.

I know it wasn’t ideal and I probably didn’t think it through properly because I’m used to taking my girls with me to the usual place I go to.
I think they could have been a bit kinder and let them sit in reception but I suppose they didn’t know that they will actually sit and behave nicely.
I’m not asking if I was unreasonable to take them, I want to know if I’m unreasonable for expecting the staff to have been less aggressive and for speaking to me that way in front of my children and making them sound like a nuisance.

I was going to complain to the hotel that rents the space to the spa but my sister said I was being ridiculous and told me to post for opinions on here.

The tagline at the top of the site always used to be “Mumsnet - by parents, for parents”, @Allthatshines1992. And even then, it has always welcomed anyone who wants to be on here - mums, dads, grandparents, people with no children.

It is probably accurate to say that the majority of MNers are women, and most of those will be parents, but EVERYONE is welcome here.

Quotation marks shouldn't be used for emphasis.

Being maternal doesn’t mean women have to speak to random kids that don’t belong to them.

Lol. You must know you're being ridiculous by saying that. Surely?

You are what is known as confidentiality incorrect 🤣

I think you may need to look up what “confidentiality” means - it does not seem an appropriate or meaningful word to use here.

Who was going to be responsible for your children at reception while you were in the treatment room?

I was joking about. Yeah, she was confidently incorrect but we're all incorrect about some things sometimes. It's nice to lighten the mood sometimes and not just be a hateful old crone on the Internet

@Allthatshines1992 in fairness it is a kid friendly pool. However it is a private pool that books hourly slots. Having 15 mins of my private hour swim encroached on by an unorganised parent is irksome. I don't think she would have left if we hadn't gone in just after the hour started! God knows how long we'd be waiting if we were too polite.

I agree with most of the posters here. The manager of yur usual nail bar may agree to admit children and that is her decision. However a spa is an adults only space where adults go to relax. Some of the clients probably have their own children and had planned an afternoon away from them at premium cost. It is therefore unrealistic to inflict other peoples children on them while they undergo treatment. The spa manager has an equal right to uphold the policies - just as your local nail bar is free to relax theirs.

Yes you are being massively unreasonable. It wouldn't even occur to me to take a child to that type of salon. Might be different in a walk in type place in the city centre but defo nowhere near appropriate in a private spa type place

Being maternal doesn't mean you have to like or want to spend time with other people's kids.

In strict grammatical terms, you are correct, @Allthatshines1992 - however, language and its usage does change over time, and using quotation marks to show a word or phrase is being used with irony or scepticism, as @SiameseBlueEyes says.

And it should be ‘confidently incorrect’ not ‘confidentially incorrect’.

You were being utterly ridiculous!

Why didn’t you accept the word “no”?

Why carry on?

Why not get your nails done while your children were at school?

You are very unreasonable - also children watching iPads without headphones is just plain rude. Headphones or no iPad

You kept going g back at them to change their position until the manager got involved. Thats a brass neck, Op. Awful behaviour and attitude

I can’t believe people are still commenting on this thread without reading my posts and repeating the same things that are inaccurate or about the iPad when I have said I’ll keep the volume off in future.

I said I accepted I was unreasonable and I would apologise. I also said I didn’t realise having the iPad volume on low was such a big issue, I will be using headphones in future, a pp made a suggestion about just using one in the ear which is good.
I have had the iPad on a very low volume in multiple places and no one has ever looked bothered or commented. I don’t have it on loud enough for anyone to hear in a place with other background noise.

I will point out one final time that I don’t let my kids run round bothering people.
The iPad isn’t on “full blast” like multiple people have suggested.
I wasn’t expecting the receptionist to babysit.
My girls aren’t being “dragged there” tired after school, they enjoy it.
I don’t let my daughters pester people and chat to them for ages. If they are sat by someone they have a polite interaction like most people would, would people be as angry if an adult commented that their nails looked nice and they had chosen a nice colour? If that person then carried on the conversation would you ignore them?
I don’t let my kids keep talking to someone not engaging and stand by my point that if you can’t interact briefly with a polite child then it is your issue. I could understand it if it was an attention seeking toddler showing toys and I ignored them.

I accepted I was wrong to keep asking and it wasn’t the best idea after reading comments that mentioned insurance and the fact that if you allow some kids you need to allow all. I also have heard it loud and clear that people don’t want to see kids when they are having a break from their own, that’s understandable 😂. I suppose I had separated having nails done and relaxing treatments as they are in separate area in the spa.
I find having my nails done a chore to do and it’s not relaxing for me but that’s probably because I usually go to a noisy nail bar with people chatting, kids having nails done themselves and music on.

Thank you to the few people who read my posts are were understanding and kind.
I bet I’m wasting my time and no one will read this and the same comments will continue and keep being exaggerated. I’m expecting to read I stormed the place next with a coach full of toddlers all carrying blaring iPads and waving for attention! 😂.

If they are sat by someone they have a polite interaction like most people would, would people be as angry if an adult commented that their nails looked nice and they had chosen a nice colour? If that person then carried on the conversation would you ignore them?

I would certainly be taken aback. I wouldn't dream of commenting on anyone else's nails or choice of colour unless asked.

And yes, they would get a curt thank you and I would ignore all further attempts to engage

Genuine question… if you find having your nails done a chore, why have them done?

"I am going to post one last time"

Yet, 7 comments later, here you are still posting

I don’t let my daughters pester people and chat to them for ages. If they are sat by someone they have a polite interaction like most people would, would people be as angry if an adult commented that their nails looked nice and they had chosen a nice colour? If that person then carried on the conversation would you ignore them?
I don’t let my kids keep talking to someone not engaging and stand by my point that if you can’t interact briefly with a polite child then it is your issue.

Are you kidding me?! You shouldn't be allowing your children to interact with anyone in a beauty spa. If you allow your child to speak to another person then you ARE allowing them to pester them! So what you are saying is that I have an issue and am unreasonable if I don't want to indulge YOUR child, when I have gone somewhere to get away from my own child, for just a brief respite? Most adults don't chat to each other when they are having their nails done either. If someone sat directly next to me and said "Oh, I like that colour!" I would smile politely, say thank you and expect that to be the end of the conversation. I'm not out for a chat, I'm there to relax, so yes, if they continued chatting to me, I would politely shut them down.

YABU

She spoke to you in a rude manner because you wouldn’t leave when asked. Of course it isn’t a suitable place for children

OP: I took my kids somewhere where they are not allowed and so was asked to leave. I’m not happy about this and want to complain, AIBU?

Pretty much every poster: YABU (570 posts)

OP: I still don’t think I’m BU

And I’d still choose former criminals over anyone’s annoying children, obviously.

Quite. Not much to pinch in a spa. And if they stole someobdy's ipad and hid it all the better.

If people can’t cope with a 5 minute chat with polite children then that’s their issue

It's not, it's you making an issue for them.