School withholding snack as punishment?

[cjs99x]

Hi all,

I wanted your opinion on something that’s happened today at school. For context - in my son’s class they have a morning snack (during juice/milk time on the carpet), lunch time (in the dinner hall) & afternoon snack (outside on the playground).

Today my 5 year old DS was kept inside for afternoon break time as he and another boy had a fight. My son getting into trouble at school is a very rare occurrence and that particular situation has been sorted out.

My concern is that, because he was kept inside for afternoon break time, he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his afternoon snack. All the children in the class was able to have their snack outside as usual, and he was told he wasn’t allowed as part of a consequence of missing his playtime. I mean keeping him inside as a consequence is fair enough, but not allowing him his food that I’ve packed?

I have briefly heard another parent mention something like this before but I wasn’t part of the conversation so I didn’t hear the full story. Obviously my son may be mixed up but he was really upset when he came out saying he was really hungry and is usually accurate when explaining things (even if it means he’ll be in trouble).

Am I being too sensitive here or is this just a very odd punishment for a 5 year old child? I just can’t see how the school is able to withhold a child’s food from them.

I will be speaking to this teacher tomorrow but I guess I’m just wondering if this a normal thing that happens in schools? He’s my only child so this is all knew to me but it just seems extreme

They do, but they are usually expected to go a bit longer than the 2 hours between lunch and home time without needing a snack. You know that in a few short years he won't even have an afternoon break and he'll have to go a whole afternoon without a snack every day.

I don't necessarily agree with it as a punishment but I do believe that when they go to school the school decides how to handle their behaviour, unless it's clearly abusive or dangerous.

You are at liberty to teach him not to fight at home but clearly this was a lesson that hadn't quite stuck so he's learned a different way now.

When my son went to get his snack, he was told he wasn’t allowed it. Which is why I’m confused, as I didn’t think this was a typical consequence in school. I’m not saying they were ‘starving him’ I just didn’t think snacks were allowed to be used as punishments

This (what was said to him) is what you need to check, OP. In my school, if a child being kept in at break had trotted off to get their snack along with the others, they’d have been told that they needed to sit on the carpet and couldn’t have their snack yet. The idea is they sit and think, undistracted by books, colouring, toys or snacks while the other children have their break. Then in the last few minutes of breaktime, they’re told they can have their snack quickly and go to the loo or go out for the last 3 or 4 mins for a run round. They usually just get their snack, eat it quickly, then go to the loo.

So, maybe the teacher thought your son was ignoring his punishment by going to get his snack as the others did prior to going out to break? Maybe when he was told he “wasn’t allowed to” that referred to going out to break like the others. Or maybe he was simply told he couldn’t have his snack yet. Certainly, it’s reasonable not to let children have their snack initially. If they are allowed to, they tend to wander off ‘to get it’, have a bit of a chat with their friends, then sit on the carpet commenting on their snack or making noises of enjoyment. All fine normally, but not when the idea is that they’re being punished and should be thinking about their behaviour in silence.

@YouDoYouuuYou seem to think I’m sitting here ranting to my child about this situation?😅 I already spoke to him about the pushing and he’s had his consequence - the snack thing was mentioned before this conversation. He doesn’t know my feelings on the subject because I don't tend to confide my concerns about the school to a 5 year old.

Hopefully he will learn his lesson now. If he wants privileges like snacks and outdoor time, then he behaves himself and doesn’t fight.

It’s not like they withheld his lunch.

Your son won’t starve by skipping one snack. It’s perfectly fine that was part of the punishment.

But then the snack would have been eaten surely? But if no snack was eaten then this doesn’t “appear” to be the case.

@InMyShowgirlEraI’m not automatically a bad parent that doesn’t teach right from wrong because my son pushed another child back once. I always teach him right from wrong, but sometimes children will do things in the moment on impulse. This is quite literally the first time my 5 year old has been in trouble in his life and he has been in childcare since he was 1. He is a good kid. Even good kids make a mistake once in a while.

What does this even mean? My son is 9 and has never been in a fight at school, he just doesn’t hit. Your son doesn’t get leeway because he had two years of no pushing.

Your son isn’t starving is he, it’s literally irrelevant that he missed a snack.

He hit. To teach him a lesson, schools withdraws privilege. Mum is silly enough to raise this because precious child must not be disciplined 🙄

We didn’t get afternoon snacks in primary school. We were only allowed a snack in morning break and lunch. Afternoon break was 10 minutes in the playground without a snack. We all survived for years like this.
It was one day. Seriously.

@SunnySideDeepDownI’m sorry I’m not as good as a parent as you.

Schools shouldn’t use food as either a reward or a punishment. You’re not being unreasonable. He should have had his snack in the classroom on his own. That being said- at least he’d had lunch etc so wouldn’t be starving but I don’t agree with the school withholding his snack.

It's not normal for schools to have an afternoon snack, so the point is moot. In 40 years of teaching I never came across a school that had afternoon snack, in fact I've never worked in one that had an afternoon playtime.

So basically, it's an abnormal thing all all round, and your child will cope without an afternoon snack just as virtually every school child in England does.

I agree with you, OP.

It doesn't matter if they need an afternoon snack or not if that's what they're used to having. If they'd usually have an afternoon snack and that is withheld as part of the punishment, then food is indeed being used as a punishment and I disagree with that.

Slightly OT but since when did snacks become a thing at schools?

This. It doesn't matter whether he'd eaten lunch already or not. Not playing outside should've been the start and end of consequences.

I am KS1 teacher and have never worked in a school where they have afternoon snack so I don't think it's a problem to miss it as a one off if they have had morning snack and lunch. One snack (fruit) per day is government-funded so it woukd be a problem if he wasn't offered any snack but not to miss out on something that the majority of kids manage without.

Absolutely par for the course for UK schools.

Just pointlessly harsh and vindictive.

And not supported by any kind of actual evidence. Which, you know, teachers are supposed to base their practice on.

I’m sorry OP, I really sympathise. You have years and years of this ahead of you, and it will get significantly worse in secondary school.

No, I don’t think it’s appropriate to deny him food that you have packed as his parent.

I think it’s OTT that’s he’s complaining about being “really hungry” just because he didn’t have a snack (which 99% of other school kids don’t get during morning or afternoon) and you acting like he’s been starved 🙈

Around the same time that kids had to have a water bottle permanently attached to their face.

I’m genuinely horrified that you, as a teacher, fail to see that this is not about the child’s nutritional intake for the day.

I mean, he just turned 5 a few weeks ago, maybe he is a bit OTT but what can I say .. the boy looks forward to his afternoon banana 🤣🤷🏼‍♀️

I never once insinuated he was starved, I was genuinely surprised.

So he has never done it before? We he won’t do it again because he will remember the consequence! I really don’t know what people expect kids to be able to be constantly snacking! We had breakfast, lunch and dinner ( or tea) when we were kids- certainly didn’t waste away!

Why do these bloody kids need a 'snack' several times a day? We never had 'snacks' at school - you had breakfast at home, milk and a biscuit for elevenses, school lunch and that was it until you got home. You might have a slice of toast at 5 but dinner was not until at least 7. We survived.

You are going to get a load of pushback from the anti-child schools can do no wrong brigade on MN, but the reality is that most parents would not find this acceptable for a 5 year old. I don’t think it would happen at my child’s school (although they don’t have an afternoon snack). I think it would be very appropriate to discuss this with the teacher.

You’re really going to call the school about this? I am sure your son didn’t starve to death!