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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

School withholding snack as punishment?

295 replies

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:44

Hi all,

I wanted your opinion on something that’s happened today at school. For context - in my son’s class they have a morning snack (during juice/milk time on the carpet), lunch time (in the dinner hall) & afternoon snack (outside on the playground).

Today my 5 year old DS was kept inside for afternoon break time as he and another boy had a fight. My son getting into trouble at school is a very rare occurrence and that particular situation has been sorted out.

My concern is that, because he was kept inside for afternoon break time, he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his afternoon snack. All the children in the class was able to have their snack outside as usual, and he was told he wasn’t allowed as part of a consequence of missing his playtime. I mean keeping him inside as a consequence is fair enough, but not allowing him his food that I’ve packed?

I have briefly heard another parent mention something like this before but I wasn’t part of the conversation so I didn’t hear the full story. Obviously my son may be mixed up but he was really upset when he came out saying he was really hungry and is usually accurate when explaining things (even if it means he’ll be in trouble).

Am I being too sensitive here or is this just a very odd punishment for a 5 year old child? I just can’t see how the school is able to withhold a child’s food from them.

I will be speaking to this teacher tomorrow but I guess I’m just wondering if this a normal thing that happens in schools? He’s my only child so this is all knew to me but it just seems extreme Confused

OP posts:
BCBird · 29/09/2025 17:46

Snacks outside at break. He didn't go outside so no snack. He shouldn't fight.

BallerinaRadio · 29/09/2025 17:47

It's just an afternoon snack not lunch, I don't even remember having bloody snacks at school. So sounds fair enough to me, like pp said don't fight you'll get your snack so hopefully it will be a lesson learned

Original poster
cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:47

They have their morning snack inside, so I’m baffled to why he can’t eat his snack inside in the afternoon. Yes of course he shouldn’t fight but he’s a 5 year old boy who’s just got in trouble for the first time since starting school in 2024. Even prisoners get fed. 🙄

OP posts:
lnks · 29/09/2025 17:48

‘Even prisoners get fed’?! Quit with the hyperbole

BallerinaRadio · 29/09/2025 17:48

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:47

They have their morning snack inside, so I’m baffled to why he can’t eat his snack inside in the afternoon. Yes of course he shouldn’t fight but he’s a 5 year old boy who’s just got in trouble for the first time since starting school in 2024. Even prisoners get fed. 🙄

To be fair he's had a morning snack and lunch, he's not going to starve.

The teacher will be delighted if you bring this tomorrow 🙄

Montereyjaaack · 29/09/2025 17:49

Ask the teacher what happened… does he still have his snack in his lunchbox?

Jellybunny56 · 29/09/2025 17:49

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:47

They have their morning snack inside, so I’m baffled to why he can’t eat his snack inside in the afternoon. Yes of course he shouldn’t fight but he’s a 5 year old boy who’s just got in trouble for the first time since starting school in 2024. Even prisoners get fed. 🙄

“Even prisoners get fed”🤣🤣🤣 come on OP, he’s had breakfast, morning snack, lunch and presumably has now had dinner. He’s not been locked in solitary confinement without food or water for 2 weeks🤣

NoSoupForU · 29/09/2025 17:49

No child ever wasted away because they didn't have a snack. Are you this melodramatic all the time? Comparing the situation to that of prison is insane. Your son was fed. He had his lunch.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 29/09/2025 17:50

He was in trouble so he lost a treat
It's not like they withheld his actual lunch
It was a snack, probably only an hour before he went home anyway.

Oldrockchic · 29/09/2025 17:50

It's just a 'snack' not a meal. It was part of the punishment and really not a big deal.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 29/09/2025 17:50

cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:47

They have their morning snack inside, so I’m baffled to why he can’t eat his snack inside in the afternoon. Yes of course he shouldn’t fight but he’s a 5 year old boy who’s just got in trouble for the first time since starting school in 2024. Even prisoners get fed. 🙄

Ffs don't be that parent

They didn't starve him

BallerinaRadio · 29/09/2025 17:51

It blows my mind you'll just breeze over the fact your son was fighting in school, and he missed an afternoon snack is your main concern here. I'd be rethinking your priorities here.

TeaForTheTillermanSteakForTheSun · 29/09/2025 17:51

You're more concerned about him not having a snack between lunch and home time than you are about him fighting by the sounds of it.

It's going to be a bloody long time dealing with schools if you're this dramatic at this point.

ohsobroody · 29/09/2025 17:51

They really don’t need to eat 3 times between 9 and 3 lol I think most schools don’t do that! So I think fine for him to miss it. Not lunch though

Barneybagpuss · 29/09/2025 17:52

He was fighting, he’d also had his lunch, stop being ridiculous

Original poster
cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:52

Okay fair enough maybe I am being sensitive and this is totally normal for schools. I’ve just never used food as a punishment before, genuinely didn’t think it was even a thing in schools. 🤷🏼‍♀️

OP posts:
Readyforslippers · 29/09/2025 17:53

Food wasn't the punishment, outside play that included a snack was, hopefully he'll behave next time. Not really a big deal at all.

spicetails · 29/09/2025 17:53

Using food as a form of punishment is not acceptable

CopperWhite · 29/09/2025 17:53

Loads of classes don’t even have an afternoon snack, and when they do, children often choose not to have one. They just had lunch, they are fine.

Your child needs to know that you are upset about his behaviour, not because he may have experienced the normal human feeling of hunger.

hoarahloux · 29/09/2025 17:54

Withholding food should never be used as punishment. Looks like I'm in the minority but I don't agree with this punishment at all.

Original poster
cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:54

A child pushed him so he pushed him back. He’s already had his punishment by missing break time at school and I’ve also told him off about it. This thread is purely to ask if it’s a normal punishment at school because I never thought it was a thing. Clearly it’s normal so it is what it is.

OP posts:
SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 29/09/2025 17:55

It sounds as if your son missing his afternoon snack was possibly an unintended consequence of him missing his afternoon break, @cjs99x.

I would certainly hope that a school would not deliberately withhold food as a punishment. In fact, I’m not sure I think making a child miss their break time is a good punishment/consequence either - children need active time to shake the fidgets out, so they can go back to sitting and concentrating in class.

If you do decide to go to the school about this, I would advise you to avoid the sort of hyperbole about even prisoners getting fed - having had a morning snack and lunch, your son was not going to starve to death before the end of school. I would advise you to say that you support the school in imposing a consequence on your son, but you are concerned that that consequence came with a second one - missing his afternoon snack - and ask the school to confirm their policy on consequences, break time and snacks.

Sirzy · 29/09/2025 17:55

So he had to go what three hours without food? I am sure he will cope!

If they had stopped him having his dinner you would have had a point.

Original poster
cjs99x · 29/09/2025 17:55

CopperWhite · 29/09/2025 17:53

Loads of classes don’t even have an afternoon snack, and when they do, children often choose not to have one. They just had lunch, they are fine.

Your child needs to know that you are upset about his behaviour, not because he may have experienced the normal human feeling of hunger.

All of the schools in my area have afternoon snacks for reception and year 1 as their lunch time is quite early (11:30/11:45). It’s just what he’s used to so I guess for him he was hungry come afternoon time. But fair enough.

OP posts:
BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 29/09/2025 17:55

They didn't "use food as punishment"

Snacks are part of break time. He was denied break so he didn't get the snack

They didn't just withhold hair food