School withholding snack as punishment?

[cjs99x]

Hi all,

I wanted your opinion on something that’s happened today at school. For context - in my son’s class they have a morning snack (during juice/milk time on the carpet), lunch time (in the dinner hall) & afternoon snack (outside on the playground).

Today my 5 year old DS was kept inside for afternoon break time as he and another boy had a fight. My son getting into trouble at school is a very rare occurrence and that particular situation has been sorted out.

My concern is that, because he was kept inside for afternoon break time, he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his afternoon snack. All the children in the class was able to have their snack outside as usual, and he was told he wasn’t allowed as part of a consequence of missing his playtime. I mean keeping him inside as a consequence is fair enough, but not allowing him his food that I’ve packed?

I have briefly heard another parent mention something like this before but I wasn’t part of the conversation so I didn’t hear the full story. Obviously my son may be mixed up but he was really upset when he came out saying he was really hungry and is usually accurate when explaining things (even if it means he’ll be in trouble).

Am I being too sensitive here or is this just a very odd punishment for a 5 year old child? I just can’t see how the school is able to withhold a child’s food from them.

I will be speaking to this teacher tomorrow but I guess I’m just wondering if this a normal thing that happens in schools? He’s my only child so this is all knew to me but it just seems extreme

I didn't say you were a bad parent who didn't teach right from wrong, or that your child is a bad child. There's no such thing as a bad child anyway.

On this occasion, you've clearly done your best to teach him not to push and he's forgotten the lesson, so it's down to the school to remind him, which they have done.

If you were a perfect parent (which again, there's no such thing as) then he'd never need to face consequences at school, but as it is, we all parent our children imperfectly and send them to be imperfect at school where they impose imperfect consequences which might not be imperfect in the same way as our preferred response would have been.

I wouldn't say it's normal, I've not heard of a school removing snack time as a punishment before, but that was their call. Both he and you know that the best way to avoid missing out on snacks in future is to follow the school rules.

I agree it's probably unintentional and that because he was spending time out for rough play they didn't think to give a snack as the focus was on sitting quietly, reflecting on how they need to play next time. I am sure that had the other child been in they too would have had the same experience.
The afternoon snack thing must be regional as we don't do afternoon snacks either!
I would suggest not to get caught up in other people's dramas...group chats can be great for sharing information and reminders of things, but they can also bring everyone down if you get one person who is unhappy and airs their side of things (without knowing the full story).

God almighty. The OP acknowledged she was wrong on the first page. Why have we now got 5 more pages telling her she's wrong.
Read the bloody thread (or at least the OP's posts) before posting

I ran a PRU for years. When you meet the parents it all makes sense. Every single time.

Threads like this remind me of how unpleasant some adults can be. No, schools are not in the right to use denial of food as a punishment technique.

Didn't kill him did it? Honestly, some parents are such agitators against school and wonder why their kids end up with behaviour problems. If it was my child, he'd have been told not to fight and to go hungry

What a kind, non-judgemental person you are.

Good grief, OP literally put in the first post that her child was upset because he was hungry. I have pointed out that it's very unusual for children of that age to get a snack in the afternoon so it's not a big deal that he didn't have it once.

Surely he could have just eaten the snack when u picked him up? Like 1 hour after? Its not going to make much difference really.

The pitchforks are out in full force tonight 😂 I even said I could quite easily be being sensitive/biased because of the issues the school is already having.

It's rare for a class to have lunch and 2 snack breaks. I have seen it only once. Personally I would not bring it up, it's not as though he missed lunch or really needed the snack.

But perhaps you as the professional could have offered something a bit more thoughtful and considered. The big picture, you know.

This really, really isn’t about the food.

I think it seems fair enough. Most schools do not have afternoon snack time, in fact, this is the first time I’ve ever heard of it, typically the last time they will eat in the school day is at lunchtime.

I could fully understand being upset if they had withheld his morning break, or lunch, but the snack time is an additional ‘perk’ and I assume he got his snack when he came home, so no harm done and hopefully a lesson learned, I wouldn’t bring it up to the school.

Food shouldn’t be withheld and the way schools punish children is archaic. The consequence should follow the behaviour - how does pushing a child equal no break time and no snack. It’s just punitive but sadly common practice from mainstream schools who like the resources and will to do it differently

I know some people are saying that he shouldn't fight and fair enough he didn't get snack. However, presumably the school has put in place a snack because they want children to be able to concentrate and behave properly in the afternoon - withholding snack will likely affect their behaviour later on.

It’s a miracle we made it through primary school in the 80s… where at morning break we got fuck all, at afternoon break we got fuck all … and there was no choice at lunch, you got what was on your plate.

At High School you could go to the Tuck Shop, where Lord of The Flies like, you might get your hands on a Spira or a Panda Pop.

Why kids need constant access to a Water bottle, and multiple snacks I don’t know.

Not so long back he,d of got the cane, do you not want your son to realise the repercussions of being naughty? i,d of smacked my child, whats your way of dealing with it? get a backbone

Food should never be withheld and especially not from a designated time for food. If they want to keep the child in then they need to find a way to facilitate the snack.

And snacks…. This is why todays kids are all fat

There was a thread the other day asking if it's ever appropriate to respond to anyone with 'fuck off'. And here is the time it's entirely appropriate.

Exactly. They have it for a reason and both for the food itself and the routine THEY have implemented, it shouldn't be withheld and it especially shouldn't be withheld as a punishment.

No you are completely normal. Food should never be used as a punishment. And my children never had an afternoon snack either, they were not allowed in school but that's not the point here. In OP's school ALL children have snack in the afternoon so it's upsetting that your son wasn't allowed to have his banana. Sure, he survived and to me the upsetting part wasn't about him being a little bit hungry it was about WITHHOLDING FOOD FROM A 5 YEAR OLD AS PUNISHMENT. It's so not acceptable and I would make that clear to the teacher. Not letting him go outside is a shit punishment as well while we're at it.

Yep, the afternoon banana is surely the culprit🙄

Yes of course, hitting your child is a great way to teach them the importance of non-violent communication and modelled how an adult exercises self-control. Pathetic.

OP you’re not overreacting! To all the other horrid posters, he’s only 5yo ffs. Food should not be withheld and I would be upset and speaking to the head!

Even not having outside play time is unacceptable, they need breaks and recreation, and not punishment at that age.
Surely there would have been a better way to handle this situation? Lose two minutes of play time before heading out if punishment was a must.

Ignore the draconian posters that relish punishment for a 5 year old.