School withholding snack as punishment?

[cjs99x]

Hi all,

I wanted your opinion on something that’s happened today at school. For context - in my son’s class they have a morning snack (during juice/milk time on the carpet), lunch time (in the dinner hall) & afternoon snack (outside on the playground).

Today my 5 year old DS was kept inside for afternoon break time as he and another boy had a fight. My son getting into trouble at school is a very rare occurrence and that particular situation has been sorted out.

My concern is that, because he was kept inside for afternoon break time, he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his afternoon snack. All the children in the class was able to have their snack outside as usual, and he was told he wasn’t allowed as part of a consequence of missing his playtime. I mean keeping him inside as a consequence is fair enough, but not allowing him his food that I’ve packed?

I have briefly heard another parent mention something like this before but I wasn’t part of the conversation so I didn’t hear the full story. Obviously my son may be mixed up but he was really upset when he came out saying he was really hungry and is usually accurate when explaining things (even if it means he’ll be in trouble).

Am I being too sensitive here or is this just a very odd punishment for a 5 year old child? I just can’t see how the school is able to withhold a child’s food from them.

I will be speaking to this teacher tomorrow but I guess I’m just wondering if this a normal thing that happens in schools? He’s my only child so this is all knew to me but it just seems extreme

Jesus wept and they wonder why so many teachers are getting out of the profession. They've got enough on their plates with parents complaining about little Johnny not having an afternoon snack.

How many hours between lunch and home time ? If you were in the UK, it would be about 3 hours so no time for a snack anyway.
Does it matter that he ate his snack after you picked him up instead?

I’m surprised so many are saying YABU here.
Id be very annoyed if this was my child - I don’t think it’s acceptable to withhold food absolutely not. It’s a horrible principle. A snack for a young child is something that enables them to function well through the day. Playtime is a ‘nice to have’ at school at that age. The ‘nice to have’ is ok to remove as punishment. Not the food!!! I’d complain.

I don't think you're being unreasonable. I can see no reason he shouldn't have had his snack. If they were completely pointless and non beneficial, why do any of the kids have them in the first place?

Thank you. The comment about prisoners was a bit of sarcasm hence the ‘🙄’. I wasn’t planning on making that comment to the school. There’s just been a couple of issues with the school that a lot of the parents aren’t pleased with so maybe I’m already biased in my thinking and is why I’m being sensitive.

Oh gosh, I bet there's a moany parent's WhatsApp group busy winding each other up.

Indeed. I'm also genuinely baffled that your school and apparently all the ones near you have an afternoon snack. I've worked in hundreds of schools and afternoon snack is absolutely unnecessary even with an earlier lunch.

I've not heard of afternoon snack time being a thing. Children won't starve or suffer in the 2½ hours from lunch to pick-up.

Losing playtime with its perks is a fair consequence for fighting.

I think they should have let him have his snack inside. Missing playtime was the punishment. It wouldn’t be ok for them to withhold food.
maybe speak to the teacher first to get the full story

I don't think a snack in the afternoon is necessary, however in 20 years working in schools I've never worked in one where missing a break meant missing the snack that went with it.

Using food as part of a punishment isn't acceptable imo.

I would assume it was overlooked because there's no way it should happen (as you will often get children who miss lots of breaks, all of the breaks in a day etc)

Losing playtime is fair enough, not being allowed a snack is a step too far imo. I’m surprised at all the comments where people think this is fine. If they have withheld food from a 5 year old as a punishment that’s not appropriate at all, I would definitely want to clarify this with the teacher.

I’d be moaning too if my 5 year old child had managed to escape school grounds twice. Like I said, a lot of parents are already unhappy with the school and I’ve seen/heard things that I don’t particularly like which is why I said I may be a bit biased/sensitive in my opinion about this and wanted to see if this was a normal punishment. 😊

Hyperbole aside, he should have been allowed his snack whilst being kept from his outside time. Withholding a daily and anticipated snack as punishment is bad - if it were cake and not regular then yes, perhaps but I’d disagree with the removal of his access to his snack.

I wouldn't complain but 5 seems very young to dish out the no food punishment, poor little fella. I did complain when my 5 year old DS (now a young adult) was not allowed to visit the loo along with all boys in.the class as a group punishment due to the actions of two boys who blocked the sinks and put water all over the floor.

It’s not whether the school does an afternoon snack or not that bothers me - if it wasn’t a thing then it’s fair enough. But it just baffles me that it’s used as a punishment that’s all.

I agree with your point - and you also get the odd child that does stay inside for afternoon break (ie if they want to go and read a book in the library area instead) and they’re still able to eat their snack so it’s not eating the snack indoors that’s the issue.

Blimey do the kids in your son's school do any learning? Sounds like they're constantly eating. My DS used to have lunch at 11:45 too but no snack later. Or at least not until we got home.
I'd probably be more annoyed he missed out on playtime. It sounds like he needed to burn energy off. However if that's the consequence then so be it
I wouldn't complain about him missing snack. He was a bit hungry which you presumably dealt with, it's really not a big deal.

Missing a snack will be the least of your worries if he continues on this trajectory.

I'd be far more concerned about the fighting and spend my energies talking about not using our hands on others, rather than moan to the teacher that little Jonny missed his apple.

I think it’s ridiculous to take away food from a child 3 hours is a long time for a 5 year old . Would be a different answer if it was a teen but a 5 year old is just plain stupid

I don't understand why he couldn't have had his snack inside when they have their morning snack inside? So I don't think it's reasonable for him not have been allowed it.

did the boy who pushed him have to miss his break as well?

are schools still allowed to get kids to pick up litter as a punishment? I'd have had them both do that. Five pieces each, wash hands, then snacks. Get then running off excess energy.

It wasn't taken away he just didn't chance to eat it because he was inside reflecting on his behaviour. Also it's a completely normal amount of time for a 5 year old to go without food.

As has been pointed out, the punishment was missing break. He wasn't outside at break where the snacks were given out, so he didn't get to eat his snack. This does not constitute a deliberate policy of 'withholding food' as a punishment. He had breakfast (presumably), a morning snack and lunch. They were hardly starving him!

Pushing a child that pushed him?

yeah clearly going to be a violent thug.

🙄🙄🙄

They haven't used food as a punishment though - he has lost his break as a punishment. The fact that he lost his snack as a default of not being allowed break isn't the intended consequence.

How would you expect they dealt with the snack? Let him have it while he wasn't having his break, therefore blurring the lines of the punishment? Or address it afterwards when all the other children came in, letting him get special treatment of having a snack with all the other children there when they don't? Doesn't exactly set a good deterrent for the children to not fight does it?

You're being quite dramatic OP, insinuating that food has been withheld. We never had afternoon snacks when I was at school and neither did my DD. If it's still in his lunchbox then he would have had to wait, at the most, an hour after snacktime if you let him have it when you picked him up.

I would maybe focus less on the distraction of the food and more on the fact he was fighting. I appreciate he's only young, but this is one of those occurances when you back up the message of the school without detracting from it with what they did 'wrong'

The other boy didn’t miss his break time because he had already left school for an appointment (I am friends with the mother). They usually play lovely together, have been very close friends for over a year so hopefully this won’t be a regular occurrence.