School withholding snack as punishment?

[cjs99x]

Hi all,

I wanted your opinion on something that’s happened today at school. For context - in my son’s class they have a morning snack (during juice/milk time on the carpet), lunch time (in the dinner hall) & afternoon snack (outside on the playground).

Today my 5 year old DS was kept inside for afternoon break time as he and another boy had a fight. My son getting into trouble at school is a very rare occurrence and that particular situation has been sorted out.

My concern is that, because he was kept inside for afternoon break time, he was told he wasn’t allowed to have his afternoon snack. All the children in the class was able to have their snack outside as usual, and he was told he wasn’t allowed as part of a consequence of missing his playtime. I mean keeping him inside as a consequence is fair enough, but not allowing him his food that I’ve packed?

I have briefly heard another parent mention something like this before but I wasn’t part of the conversation so I didn’t hear the full story. Obviously my son may be mixed up but he was really upset when he came out saying he was really hungry and is usually accurate when explaining things (even if it means he’ll be in trouble).

Am I being too sensitive here or is this just a very odd punishment for a 5 year old child? I just can’t see how the school is able to withhold a child’s food from them.

I will be speaking to this teacher tomorrow but I guess I’m just wondering if this a normal thing that happens in schools? He’s my only child so this is all knew to me but it just seems extreme

Will it improve their learning? As a teacher we are trained that a hungry child is unlikely to be ready to learn.

Also the bar for how to treat children is not ‘it won’t stunt their growth’ ffs. Dickens’ works are novels not instruction manuals.

The teacher probably didn't punish by not giving him his snack. The punishment was to miss playtime. It may not even have occurred to her that he would miss his snack. It is no big deal though and if that upset him more then the punishment worked and hopefully he will think of his behaviour next time.

As a few PPs have mentioned, the loss of his snack is more of a side-effect of the consequence given.

Saying that the consequence for his misbehaviour was that his snack was withheld is misleading. I'd have agree with you if that had been the case.

Hopefully it'll be a lesson learned for him.

Why are you making up this theory? OP clearly stated that the child went to get his snack from his bag was told he is not allowed.

@katepilar ok I must have missed that bit.

I'm with you OP. Some very harsh replies. Healthy snacks are good for small children, agree food shouldn't be used as a punishment

This is one of those great threads that helps identify the 44% of people who voted YANBU as terrible parents.

It's totally inappropriate to withhold food as a punishment.
It doesn't happen at the primary schools I know

If we were talking about lunch, absolutely.

A banana? a few hours or even less before school ends and he can have it anyway? Hardly.

My son doesn't always eat much at school so he has a snack on the way home... couldn't your son have his snack then?

It was a snack not a 3 course dinner.

Presumably lunch is at about 12:00- 12:45 so he ate a full meal at about 12:15? And he gets out of school at 3pm? So he didn’t get anything to eat for a full 2 hours 30 minute?! That’s outrageous, the poor little lamb must be absolutely starving…. Seriously OP he will survive. Tell him not to be fighting and he will get his snack and play time. Seems like a good punishment with a decent consequence to me.

Interesting, so many posters find just the idea of an afternoon break, let alone afternoon snack so triggering.

I don't understand why he has to have a 'snack' between meals. Is he diabetic?

Withholding food is never a planned punishment in schools. The punishment was no break time. If he'd asked to have his snack while indoors, I'm sure the teacher would have had no problem with that.

I'd be more bothered about the normalisation of all this snacking. It's a terrible habit.

I can’t be the only person who grew up having 3 meals a day and no snacks, and whose children, born in the 70s were brought up the same way. I don’t think your son will suffer as much from missing a snack as he will from witnessing his mother disagreeing with his teacher. I hope you have told your son that he should expect consequences when he misbehaves.

5 year olds need their snack to regulate their blood sugar etc. how do the teachers expect him to concentrate for the rest of the afternoon without the snack.

But they did. It was his snack in his bag. Also this snack is to help them concentrate . They are 5.. I’m a childminder and all my kids get a snack in the afternoon or they get tired and moody.

It’s outrageous, Op! Children should have a snack every hour or so. No, every 30 minutes in fact. Bring it up with the school as soon as possible.

It’s outrageous, Op! Children should have a snack every hour or so. No, every 30 minutes in fact. Bring it up with the school as soon as possible.

It's not a punishment. The class eats afternoon snack outside. He got in a fight so didn't get to go outside. Missing outside time (and therefore snack) is the consequence of breaking a school rule and fighting.

After 23 years in elementary education, I believe that learning that actions have consequences is one of the most important lessons a child can be taught, even at age 5. I bet it made a real impression. Don't ruin it by undermining the teacher.

Giving them snacks every few hours is much more likely to lead to food issues.

School is for learning. He’s learned that actions have consequences.

I hate food being used as punishments or treats. I don't think it creates a particularly healthy relationship with food if I'm honest. Poor behaviour is one issue. I don't see why it should be conflated with food 🤷🏻‍♀️