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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I in the wrong? Neighbour issue?

237 replies

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 10:05

I created a private Facebook group for the 3 streets on the new build estate where I live.

Most of my neighbours are on it.

My next door neighbour who lives next to me has stopped speaking to me now as from what I gather her and her partner were annoyed that I didn’t invite them to join the group.

I did ask my other next door neighbour to join.

Yesterday we got back at the same time in our cars and I could tell they didn’t want to acknowledge me or say hello as they just sat in their car until I had gone in.

My neighbour would also take by bin and parcels but has stopped.

Is my next door neighbour right to be annoyed and AIBU?

OP posts:
godmum56 · 29/09/2025 18:36

Nanny0gg · 29/09/2025 18:16

And MYOB. Pretend you haven't seen anyone at her door unless their wearing stripes and carrying a bag with SWAG written on it

Show quote history

this. My video doorbell picks up bits from my neighbour even though I have got a block on even though she has given me permission to remove the block. You DO NOT EVER comment on things picked up on your doorbell or cameras that are none of your business.

LillyPJ · 29/09/2025 18:39

I'm not surprised they don't like living there.

Littlemissbubbblles · 29/09/2025 18:57

@hallogalorrr You say you’re not a mean girl.
But your behaviour says you are!
I don’t think a box of choccies will be anywhere near enough

Tbrg · 29/09/2025 19:33

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 17:27

I tried to talk to her earlier when she got back from the school run.

In other words she said they wouldn’t want to join a neighbourhood chat as they don’t really find the people friendly apart from XYZ (neighbour across the street who she is friendly with) and she said they didn’t intend on sticking round here long and made a joke of saying “Let’s hope your new neighbours aren’t too nosy or noisy like most folk around here” and tuned her back to me before walking off.

I think she is referring my Ringdoor capturing some of her property ( I asked her once if that was her sister visiting when it pinged on my Ring).

She also has had an issue with my next door neighbour’s kids trespassing on her drive which I know she hated as it would wake her kids up.

I think they just hate living round here

I will pop round with some chocolate or something as I can see why they feel ostracised.

This sounds like my street - I can’t wait to move too. I plan on selling to the worst neighbours I can find for them because they’ve made my life a living misery.

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 29/09/2025 22:35

We have a shared drive so our doorbell camera picks up next door all the time. We wouldn't go "Oh did your sister come to visit yesterday because I saw her when I was snooping" because it's rude.

Sabrinathewitch · 29/09/2025 23:13

Good God you sound like my neighbours who also have a new build estate group and have for 4 years and their just like you literally pick and choose

Original poster
hallogalorrr · 30/09/2025 09:03

So I spoke to the neighbour she is friendly with and the neighbour said that they both hate living here and that I made her feel anxious as she finds me over bearing and intrusive.

The main reason they want to move is because of my Ringdoor.

Apparently they both feel watched and don’t even like to talk when they are outside because in case I am listening and watching.

The lady has pretty much made it clear to the neighbour that until they move she dosent want to engage with me and wants to “keep out of each others way”.

I am actually floored by this and feel really embarrassed.
There is no way I am going to approach her now to given how much she dislikes me.

Will sending a box of chocolates and note be depended harassing?
I think it’s best to probably just leave it.

OP posts:
AOIFEmissingUalways · 30/09/2025 09:06

Wow! That's quite an update 🤔

ClutchingPearlz · 30/09/2025 09:06

hallogalorrr · 29/09/2025 18:07

No it’s a genuine thread.

My other neighbours Ringdoor captures some of my drive as these are terraced houses with an odd set up.

My other neighbours front door is outside my drive, these are new builds hence the strange set up.

I will definitely buy her a small gift as I really am not a mean girl and don’t want her to feel the way she does.

And do they ask you who is visiting you? This just gets worse. I really think you've blown this one. Of course they hate living there. I'd think the neighbours were nosy too if they started asking me who was visiting me.

bigageap · 30/09/2025 09:07

hallogalorrr · 30/09/2025 09:03

So I spoke to the neighbour she is friendly with and the neighbour said that they both hate living here and that I made her feel anxious as she finds me over bearing and intrusive.

The main reason they want to move is because of my Ringdoor.

Apparently they both feel watched and don’t even like to talk when they are outside because in case I am listening and watching.

The lady has pretty much made it clear to the neighbour that until they move she dosent want to engage with me and wants to “keep out of each others way”.

I am actually floored by this and feel really embarrassed.
There is no way I am going to approach her now to given how much she dislikes me.

Will sending a box of chocolates and note be depended harassing?
I think it’s best to probably just leave it.

No but make sure your ring doorbell doesn't record their private property and don't be a nosy cow asking about visitors.

3456DDF · 30/09/2025 09:07

I would just leave her alone now. It is clear she has the measure of you doesn't want to engage in ANY WAY and you should respect that.

ClutchingPearlz · 30/09/2025 09:09

hallogalorrr · 30/09/2025 09:03

So I spoke to the neighbour she is friendly with and the neighbour said that they both hate living here and that I made her feel anxious as she finds me over bearing and intrusive.

The main reason they want to move is because of my Ringdoor.

Apparently they both feel watched and don’t even like to talk when they are outside because in case I am listening and watching.

The lady has pretty much made it clear to the neighbour that until they move she dosent want to engage with me and wants to “keep out of each others way”.

I am actually floored by this and feel really embarrassed.
There is no way I am going to approach her now to given how much she dislikes me.

Will sending a box of chocolates and note be depended harassing?
I think it’s best to probably just leave it.

Well at least now you know it's not your neighbours who are the problem on the estate 😉

Protosaber · 30/09/2025 09:10

Leave her alone.

You’re not supposed to capture any of her property with your ring door. Fix that pronto.

LillyPJ · 30/09/2025 09:17

Leave her alone. You seem to have difficulty understanding how other people will react to you but you're right to think that sending chocolate etc now would just seem like harassment. I hope you get on better when you get new neighbours. Try to understand that people don't like to feel excluded or spied on.

Pancakeflipper · 30/09/2025 09:19

I would leave it. Don't send chocs.
Your future actions will be the only thing that makes them change their mind about you.
Just wave hello, smile and keep away.

Pancakeflipper · 30/09/2025 09:19

I would leave it. Don't send chocs.
Your future actions will be the only thing that makes them change their mind about you.
Just wave hello, smile and keep away.

Protosaber · 30/09/2025 09:22

I absolutely hate ring doorbells that view my property. I hate when people can’t be arsed to set them up correctly and block out the areas that don’t belong to them. It’s lazy and it’s imposing someone else’s assessment of risk on me and that’s not fair. (Risk re burglary and the like, risk re data protection in cloud services or wherever else the data is stored.)

Hoardasurass · 30/09/2025 09:30

hallogalorrr · 30/09/2025 09:03

So I spoke to the neighbour she is friendly with and the neighbour said that they both hate living here and that I made her feel anxious as she finds me over bearing and intrusive.

The main reason they want to move is because of my Ringdoor.

Apparently they both feel watched and don’t even like to talk when they are outside because in case I am listening and watching.

The lady has pretty much made it clear to the neighbour that until they move she dosent want to engage with me and wants to “keep out of each others way”.

I am actually floored by this and feel really embarrassed.
There is no way I am going to approach her now to given how much she dislikes me.

Will sending a box of chocolates and note be depended harassing?
I think it’s best to probably just leave it.

Honestly what did you expect? You've been spying on her and her visitors and having the audacity to quiz her on who her visitors are. Add to that the WhatsApp/Facebook group for everyone but them. You're the classic nosey judgemental busybody.
You do realise that if your neighbours complain to the police about you filming her on her property you'll get a visit from the police as what you are doing is illegal. Ring doorbells have a facility to block areas and prevent filming of those areas. Why did you not sort this when you set it up and what made you think that you had the right to question your neighbour about their visitors?
Also stop asking other people about your neighbours and leave them alone you are coming across as a stalker

Protosaber · 30/09/2025 09:34

I would be reporting you for harassment and stalking for monitoring who my visitors are on your camera.

how dare you do that? Don’t you realise how deeply inappropriate that is?

DottieMoon · 30/09/2025 09:41

Wow, I would not want to live next to you either. Very rude and nosy.

Dishwater · 30/09/2025 09:45

Well if you created a group for people that live on the estate and then invited people but purposely didn’t invite your next door neighbour that lives on said estate then yeah it’s poor form isn’t it? Like actually mean behaviour!

I would just invite them at this point and swallow your pride, it’s awful not getting along with neighbours.

AnotherForumUser · 30/09/2025 10:07

Dishwater · 30/09/2025 09:45

Well if you created a group for people that live on the estate and then invited people but purposely didn’t invite your next door neighbour that lives on said estate then yeah it’s poor form isn’t it? Like actually mean behaviour!

I would just invite them at this point and swallow your pride, it’s awful not getting along with neighbours.

Yes not getting on with neighbours is awful. But I think this situation has gone too far given the OP's updates. I just hope her neighbours find themselves lovely new homes without a judgemental busybody who spies on them and has the gall to quiz them on their visitors. A greedy judgemental busybody who has whined that her neighbour bought a card and gift for another neighbour's child but not for her child. An entitled judgemental busybody who isn't happy the neighbours she excluded no longer bring in her bins and take in her parcels.

outdooryone · 30/09/2025 10:10

Some people are just odd.

GAJLY · 30/09/2025 11:07

Could you have a look at your ring door bell and make sure it's only recording your side? Then ask the neighbour to come and see for herself so she knows she's not being filmed. I would never ask her who is visiting her, that's just nosey and intrusive. If my parcel went to a certain neighbour, he'd seriously look at the packaging and ask me what was in it!

limescale · 30/09/2025 11:31

I think she is referring my Ringdoor capturing some of her property ( I asked her once if that was her sister visiting when it pinged on my Ring).

Errr yes. Rude and intrusive.
I live in a terrace house, my immediate neighbour has a Ringdoor bell and I know it captures me leaving and arriving home, and people visiting me. He would never comment on any of these things and I'd feel really uncomfortable if he did.
It's about respect.

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