Was I in the wrong? Neighbour issue?

[hallogalorrr]

I created a private Facebook group for the 3 streets on the new build estate where I live.

Most of my neighbours are on it.

My next door neighbour who lives next to me has stopped speaking to me now as from what I gather her and her partner were annoyed that I didn’t invite them to join the group.

I did ask my other next door neighbour to join.

Yesterday we got back at the same time in our cars and I could tell they didn’t want to acknowledge me or say hello as they just sat in their car until I had gone in.

My neighbour would also take by bin and parcels but has stopped.

Is my next door neighbour right to be annoyed and AIBU?

I did ask my other next door neighbour to join.

All the more reason for them to be pissed. Consider yourself lucky they stayed in their car….

Well that's a shit excuse!!!

I didn’t think that she would want to join

🤣🤣🤣

Surely you would have posted something through everyone's doors saying you were setting up a group, here’s the details and the letting them join

if you did it word of mouth then you were mean to exclude them, just because they seem to keep to themselves doesn’t mean they would not join a FB group locally

Go and apologise and give them to the details to join

Surely you just ask them whether they want to join, while letting them know that you won't be offended if they say no?

From their perspective, it was a deliberate snub so you can't be surprised if they are actively avoiding any interactions with you.

What kind of nasty excuse is that? You were mean. Of course they don’t want to chat. I wouldn’t want to talk again after that either.

You have been daft - of course she’s going to feel excluded.
Go round and explain you thought you’d invited her to join but now realise your error and please can you put her on - hopefully she’ll say yes and not slam the door.
In fact I’d take a bunch of flowers too - never fall out with neighbours if you can help it!!

I created a private Facebook group for the 3 streets on the new build estate where I live.

No you didn't, you created a clique and deliberatly excluded neighbours that used to do favours for you. Of course they're annoyed! You can't even claim that you forgot, you considered inviting them and decided against it. You are very much in the wrong.

Honestly, I wouldn't sweat it for more than a minute.

If you get a chance to speak to her just explain why you didn't invite them.

Not sure why everyone is being so harsh as if someone didn't invite their best friend to their wedding. It's just a Facebook group. Who cares? It's one less thing to not have a notification popping up for to distract you from something more important in life.

If it's for your estate then you invite everyone. Not everyone you choose so you can gossip about those who have been deemed unsuitable.

Of course it's rude not to include your next door neighbour. Apologise, explain you wrongly assumed it wasn't their thing and you weren't thinking. Then if they still hold a grudge you can't do much.

But this group will now have factions presumably, those who are pro the exclusion of NDN and those that are not? You created a rod for your back with this selective invitation.

So you created a group. Deliberately excluded them on the basis of ‘well they won’t want to join anyway’ thereby making an assumption about them, which is doubly rude. Of course they don’t want to talk to you. I don’t see how you don’t see that you have created a hostile relationship with people that have gone out of their way to help you in the past. Are you going to apologise and put things right or just post on here and be inactive in your real life?

Ooops, I had a go at mine on Saturday. Fed up with his sodding dog pissing on my fence.

You assumed but didn't actually ask.

oh, the age old "assumptions". If I were her I would´ve said, oh hi galorr I hear you´ve created a neighbour whatsapp group, I´d like to join etc etc
But I think she is a bit passive aggressive, so is in huff mode.
You also have blame, as you should not make assumptions. You ask all, and they will say whether they want to join or not.

Sorry but that’s batshit.

You invite everyone equally and it’s up to them whether they join, surely?!

You might as well be honest about the reasons you didn’t want her along, nobody can ID you on here & if not honesty with the anonymous internet, then at least be honest with yourself. It doesn’t make sense to say she’s both chatty & keeps herself to herself, if the other neighbour was invited then what got them included? Extremely chatty? A little tap dance for you as you walk up the garden path? Why are people up to 3 streets away invited but not this one? Are you all extremely close bar this one neighbour?

How did uninvited neighbour even find out about the group?

Rude.

I didn’t think that she would want to join

Same as the 'I didn't think you'd want to come so I didn't bother to invite you', no one has ever said that and genuinely meant it, so it's pretty obvious you didn't want them in your little group.

I'd probably blank you too, and I'd definitely stop doing favours for you.

I am calling "reverse"

YABU if you really did do this
YABU for doing a reverse

You asked yourself the wrong question. It's actually irrelevant whether they would want to join the group or not. The question should not be 'would they like to join'. The question is 'would they like to be invited to join'. A no brainer. You have been (possibly unintentionally) very rude.

@hallogalorrr that wasn’t your choice to make you should have extended the invite and made it optional and said you would understand if she didn’t want to join

you didn’t and excluded her and she is rightly upset

Doing other people's thinking for them rarely ends well.

This ☝️

It’s ridiculous that you made their decision for them. You’ve effectively created a neighbourhood watch group and ostracised them (any others…?).

Oh dear.

How rude of you to assume. You invite them and then it's up to them to choose to join or not.