Was I in the wrong? Neighbour issue?

[hallogalorrr]

I created a private Facebook group for the 3 streets on the new build estate where I live.

Most of my neighbours are on it.

My next door neighbour who lives next to me has stopped speaking to me now as from what I gather her and her partner were annoyed that I didn’t invite them to join the group.

I did ask my other next door neighbour to join.

Yesterday we got back at the same time in our cars and I could tell they didn’t want to acknowledge me or say hello as they just sat in their car until I had gone in.

My neighbour would also take by bin and parcels but has stopped.

Is my next door neighbour right to be annoyed and AIBU?

well you are an idiot aren't you?

Now there is more context i think it's a pretty lame reason not to invite them. They sound quite neighbourly if they were bringing your bins and parcels in. I have to say I would be pretty hurt if my neighbour had done this to me. It's a really mean thing to do to anyone and i would be giving you a wide berth too.if you are OK with making someone feel like that then fine or you could hold out the olive branch and admit you were wrong.

Just apologise and ask if they would like to join.

You have unusual relationship with your neighbours tbh.
Youre in each other pockets all the time.
And you’ve managed to recreate playground dynamics too (Im invited/not invited, talking to you/ignoring you etc…)

Very weird when you’re bound to have to live next to each other and have to somehow rely on each other (like with parcels, having a party etc….).

If you are creating a "neighborhood" group all in the neighborhood should be invited. It would be up to them if they wanted to participate. Not speaking to you is childish but I can't say as I blame them. You are unreasonable.

didn’t think that she would want to join as I think her and her OH like to keep themselves to themselves.

You just didn't think full stop.

You're making choices for them that suit you, you say in your first post that they no longer speak to you, which means they did previously, maybe they thought it was you that didn't want to interact, backed up by you not inviting them to the group.

Just because they seem to, in your words, keep themselves to themselves it doesn't mean they don't want to keep up with what's going on in their area, or at times offer information.

You should have invited them and let them decide what they wanted to do.

Yeah you should have invited them. Up to them if they want to join or not.

YABU. You should have invited them like everyone else and let them decide what they wanted to do. This could get petty, so drop a note round to apologise, say that you misread the situation, that you should not have presumed that they wouldn't be interested, that they are very welcome to join and that you will send an invite out later that day and that you hope that they join..

I’m quiet, keep myself to myself and have a small circle of friends but doesn’t mean I don’t want to know what’s going on. I still joined the local facebook page. Keeps me up to date with what is going on in the area. I’ve posted once when my parcel was delivered to the wrong place and replied only a couple of times to things I can help with but I’m mainly quiet in the back ground.

She used to chat to you now doesn’t. Why did you exclude her? I’d knock , apologise and add her- if she still wants..

If you are doing something like that you invite everyone and let them make the choice whether to join or not. You do not make decision on their behalf based on your own assumptions.

So, OP, now that 98% of people who have voted have agreed you were BU, what do you plan to do about it?

Are you this thick and oblivious in real life, or are you deliberately mean?

They’ve done you favours in the past and been chatty and friendly - you deliberately ignore and exclude them - and now you’re confused about why they’ve backed off from you?

Just send out a request to everyone. Why ignore them? Your petty behaviour has triggered this.

I can not stand people who just assume ‘i didn’t think they’d want to’ so purposefully exclude them.
i don’t interact or talk to anyone in any of our villages but I’m on the groups to keep up to date with info that can often be posted there before anywhere else.

me too, I am not social and outgoing IRL but happy to do giveaways on my local FB page and offer help and advice.

It's all the drama mick, I just love it.

I bet the excluded people are older than the others.

Perhaps she just doesn’t like you and it’s nothing to do with your Facebook group.

You created a problem and you can fix it. You made an assumption but when you create a group for three streets worth of neighbours, the polite snd socially correct thing to do would be to invite all and let their acceptance or declining be in their hands, not yours.

If you miss their cordial greetings so much (or their parcel and bin helpfulness) then extend the invite and apologise for your presumption.

Why on earth would you assume they wouldn’t want to join?! 🙈🙈

yes YABU, you always give people the option. I think if I was your neighbour I’d be feeling quite upset.

YABVU.

Imagine if the shoe was on the other foot? How would you respond?

I think you owe her an apology so go round and speak to her and don’t let it fester.

Well, yeah. You made it clear you didn’t want to include them so why would they go out of their way to be kind to your children?

@hallogalorrr
your question was, “was I in the wrong?”…., my answer is “ definitely YES!”
You created a group chat but ‘excluded’ her! Of course you are in the wrong. Three street, is three streets, it’s inclusive. You don’t get to decide.
Im not surprised she’s hurt and giving you the cold shoulder.
You definitely need to apologise

You presumed !!
im not surprised she being funny with u !