Page 7 | Do you feel pressure to look younger or not aged?

ChangerMeNamer · 2025-09-29T06:57:59+00:00

Not a TAAT, but inspired by a recent thread about Botox and beauty standards. I’m particularly interested to hear from others who have felt this pressure either quite early on (under 30) or at any age due to their career situation. When did this happen for you? I started to feel pressure to look younger or at least *not aged *by 29/30, pretty much as soon as I’d had my first child it started. Initially the needing to shift the baby weight and then the tired face from sleepless nights etc. But I felt that was really amplified by the industry I work in, which is media adjacent (not TV/film) but an industry that has a lot of younger trendy people. I have a very senior role and manage a mixed team of people who are all younger than me (except 1 older lady, who shares my concerns). I’m on the fence about cosmetic procedures, partly due to finances and not being sure I’d be able to maintain it and then being gutted if I had to stop!! But also as I have two young DD’s now and already worry that they see me slapping on a lot of make-up each morning. I try to distract from it and do believe my body/my choice, but it leaves me with a niggling feeling that I am doing them harm tbh. Be interested to hear what others think🙂

Titsywoo · 30/09/2025 09:51

Periperi2025 · 29/09/2025 08:39

I live in an area where there is a big climbing/ fell running/ biking/ outdoor subculture (national park) and whilst there is no pressure to wear makeup or fancy clothes or use Botox the pressure is too remain as slim (climber slim!) and strong as ever despite kids and life and age.

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Where do you live out of interest? I am hoping to move to the Lake District in a few years as this is exactly how I want to live my life!

In answer to OP no I don't feel this at all. I've never been massively into my appearance anyway and only ever wore makeup for nights out. I'm still happy with my looks - I like my face and body! I'm 47 next month and I absolutely look it but that's fine with me. As long as I stay strong and healthy I will be happy. I do have several friends who have botox etc and they have always placed their looks at a high priority - we are all different! I don't judge them for it and hopefully vice versa!

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 30/09/2025 09:54

I was reading something on Mail Online this morning about Linda Hamilton and Robert Patrick meeting up.

She was my idol after seeing her in Terminator 2. She could kick ass with those Terminators! She's aged beautifully and naturally.

Next to it were a couple of articles about Lauren Sanchez and Nicole Kidman both look like they should be in Madame Tussauds. They have ruined their naturally beautiful faces.

BauhausOfEliott · 30/09/2025 10:18

Do I like to look younger and fresher? Yes.

Do I feel pressure to do that? No.

I like to look in the mirror and see a version of me that reflects how I feel, basically. I’m 49 and I look fresher and brighter and more radiant if I use retinoids and hydrating skincare etc and I’m probably going to have Botox on the ‘number 11’ lines above my nose which make me look like I’m frowning a lot of the time. I will colour my hair if it starts to go grey. But I don’t feel like I have to / should do those things and I don’t look at other women my age and worry they look younger than me or anything.

Original poster

ChangerMeNamer · 30/09/2025 14:24

xSideshowAuntSallyXx · 30/09/2025 09:54

I was reading something on Mail Online this morning about Linda Hamilton and Robert Patrick meeting up.

She was my idol after seeing her in Terminator 2. She could kick ass with those Terminators! She's aged beautifully and naturally.

Next to it were a couple of articles about Lauren Sanchez and Nicole Kidman both look like they should be in Madame Tussauds. They have ruined their naturally beautiful faces.

Next to it were a couple of articles about Lauren Sanchez and Nicole Kidman both look like they should be in Madame Tussauds. They have ruined their naturally beautiful faces.

Godsake! This sort of reporting shouldn’t be allowed (anymore)😰

OP posts:

Alicealig · 30/09/2025 15:39

duckinthesky · 30/09/2025 09:40

"would you rather we be like Iran" - nice bit of whataboutery.

"It's not society, it's biology"

of course biology plays a part, but failing to recognise the role that society plays in perpetually raising the bar for women's beauty standards is wilfully ignoring or perhaps living in ignorance.

It's driven by capitalism, money, media and big business playing on women's insecurities.

There's a lot of money to be made when women spend their life worrying about if they look good enough, paying for ever ridiculous procedures (that in many cases look completely stupid), perpetuated by the media.

And capitalism is driven and directed by supply and DEMAND. So it's women doing this, nobody else. Women trying to outperform and compete with other women. Were there no demand there would be no supply. Men or the patriarchy certainly don't play a role, most of them think it's ridiculous and ott

duckinthesky · 30/09/2025 16:02

Alicealig · 30/09/2025 15:39

And capitalism is driven and directed by supply and DEMAND. So it's women doing this, nobody else. Women trying to outperform and compete with other women. Were there no demand there would be no supply. Men or the patriarchy certainly don't play a role, most of them think it's ridiculous and ott

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So you are now suggesting that all women having botox or tweakments are trying to compete with other women?

Wow.

duckinthesky · 30/09/2025 16:03

A lot of misogyny there to unpack

HydroWIndWater · 30/09/2025 16:03

No never

Take me as I am

Some people do not reach middle or old age

TreeDudette · 30/09/2025 16:07

I am 48 and very greying under the dye. I have had no cosmetic procedures and do not wear makeup so very much look my age. I don't think I look BAD though. My eyes are pretty, my face shape is pleasant and I have thick curly hair which frames it nicely. I dye my hair when they grey annoys me and would go grey fully if I could do so without this dreadful half brown half grey phase.

However I work in a STEM field and am in Senior management and I am very much hoping I am here becasue of my brains and not my face so I can't see why my looking my age should be an issue. I am also ASD and don't give a bugger what anyone else thinks so that probably helps!

AtLeastThreeDrinks · 30/09/2025 16:13

I’m entering late 30s and don’t feel pressure to look younger. I pressure myself to look “nice” for my own confidence, but I’m generally happy with my appearance. I try not to think about it too much. A lot of friends have Botox and if I’m being honest I don’t think it looks good. They still look their age, just smoother, but there’s something that (to me) looks off. I may be in the minority there! But I also think it can lead to a cascade of treatments that ends up looking a bit… ghoulish? I suppose because it’s unnatural and it looks unnatural. Unless you have treatments all over, your neck and hands will give you away eventually!

notacooldad · 30/09/2025 16:16

I don't feel pressure to look younger but I like to look the best I can.
I enjoy treatments I have money to spend on myself so why not?

Complet · 30/09/2025 16:19

I can’t say I feel any ‘pressure’. Nobody is pressuring me. I have recently lost weight and feel so much better about myself. I have started to wear clothes that aren’t sacks, different make up, changed the colour of my hair slightly. I feel more confident and happy. Losing weight has made me look better, and many people have said I look about 10yrs younger, which is obviously their attempt at a compliment (well I hope it is!). I have no problem with Botox, it’s been tried and tested in the NHS for years. I know a few people that have had it and they don’t look frozen, can move their faces, and just ‘fresher’ in general. Some people prefer the frozen look and that’s up to them. I wouldn’t have lip fillers as I’m not keen on the look and it would odd on me as I have thin lips. I don’t think that either makes people look younger though.

duckinthesky · 30/09/2025 16:23

Alicealig · 30/09/2025 15:39

And capitalism is driven and directed by supply and DEMAND. So it's women doing this, nobody else. Women trying to outperform and compete with other women. Were there no demand there would be no supply. Men or the patriarchy certainly don't play a role, most of them think it's ridiculous and ott

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Having read through some of your posts on other threads, they're littered with similar examples of misogyny.

Definitely a bloke.

Coconutter24 · 30/09/2025 16:38

5128gap · 29/09/2025 10:52

I had botox for many years because from the age of 32 I had two deep furrows between my brows, caused by eye issues that made me squint. I'm a cheerful person, yet was constantly asked why I was frowning.
If I hadn't become vegan I'd still be having it now. Would you believe me if I said that the decision was absolutely nothing to do with fitting in? Fitting in with who? Other women who don't look like they're permanently frowning?
Would you also believe me if I told you my confidence was unaffected? That I get my self esteem from the difference I make in the world and how well I do things, and that botox is irrelevant to that?
If I told you that the decision of a middle aged woman to not have frown lines is likely to have zero impact on the standards young women are held to and their choices, as its not the likes of me they aspire to as a role model , would you think that was fair?

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If all that is true then why did you have Botox if you don’t mind me asking?

TheaBrandt1 · 30/09/2025 16:42

Lots of my clients are in their 80s and 90s so at 50 I am a mere slip of a girl. It’s all relative.

toodleoothen · 30/09/2025 19:40

Alicealig · 30/09/2025 09:30

It's not society, it's biology, would you rather we be like Iran, where women cover themselves up? As long as there are men and women together and free, women will compete with each other to look as attractive as possible. It happens throughout nature. Birds will tweak their feathers.

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I find this biological essentialism utterly unpersuasive - what are we women supposed to be competing for? Neanderthal men interested in our bee-stung lips rather than us as warm, thinking, human beings who have opinions and politics, and can kick ass in our chosen professions and make a difference in the world? Count me out of that idiotic competition!

5128gap · 30/09/2025 19:59

Coconutter24 · 30/09/2025 16:38

If all that is true then why did you have Botox if you don’t mind me asking?

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As in my first paragraph. My frown meant by face wasn't reflecting my feelings. I didn't want to look irritated and miserable or unfriendly when I'm not.

CoffeeCakeAndALattePlease · 30/09/2025 20:01

I don’t feel any pressure at all. I’m 45, look my age I think, and have absolutely no qualms about aging.

I think of aging as just a natural, beautiful part of being human. Every age and stage should be celebrated.

TealScroller · 30/09/2025 20:05

I don't feel pressure to look younger, but I want to if that makes sense! I don't do botox or injectables, but I do use retinol on my face and make sure I always take make up off, moisturise and wear sunscreen every day so my skin is in pretty good condition at 46. I think it's healthier to try to look your best for your age and not try to look younger.

Coconutter24 · 30/09/2025 20:21

5128gap · 30/09/2025 19:59

As in my first paragraph. My frown meant by face wasn't reflecting my feelings. I didn't want to look irritated and miserable or unfriendly when I'm not.

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So was it because people were commenting on it, asking why your frowning you had it?

InfoSecInTheCity · 30/09/2025 20:40

Coconutter24 · 30/09/2025 20:21

So was it because people were commenting on it, asking why your frowning you had it?

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I have Botox for the same reason, I don’t like my scowl lines. No one has ever commented on it or in any way suggested it’s an issue but I have eyes that mostly function so I can see the lines, and I have opinions and feelings so I can decide that I don’t like the scowling look and feel that would be happier if I didn’t have it. Using this information and the fact that a solution exists that both have access to and can afford, I made the decision to treat myself to a little Botox.

now my eyes tell me I look less angry and my feelings tell me I’m happier about that.

Nothing to do with society or other peoples opinions.

5128gap · 30/09/2025 21:26

Coconutter24 · 30/09/2025 20:21

So was it because people were commenting on it, asking why your frowning you had it?

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People asking me why I was frowning, and a child referring to me as 'the cross lady' made me aware of how having a permanent frown can be misread. Botox was just becoming a thing at the time and I thought I'd give it a go. I was really happy with the result, so continued because I liked it. If you're asking was social pressure a factor, only in terms of the social pressure not to look miserable, which is an issue if you are feeling miserable, but a different matter when you're not. Certainly nothing to do with aging as I was only 32.

Hallywally · 30/09/2025 21:30

Sadly I have given into societal pressure to try to maintain a youthful appearance, which is very much at odds with my internal feminist narrative. Wish I was stronger in that regard.

It doesn’t mean I don’t regard being alive and getting the opportunity to grow older as a privilege. I do, very much. My mum died in her early 50s- an age I’m not that far from and I’m acutely aware of everything she missed out on and everything her family/me lost when she died. I know my value vastly extends beyond what I look like but for lots of reasons I do succumb to societal pressure.

DIYagainstMould · 30/09/2025 21:39

No and your husband does not mind you being as you are either, if he is a normal man.

We are experimenting now with my husband what is going to happen with my double chin when I slim? I betted the skin will look like a cow's teats, he said, we shall see , just try to slim down first, because that has been the talk the last 15 years

britinnyc · 30/09/2025 21:43

BauhausOfEliott · 30/09/2025 10:18

Do I like to look younger and fresher? Yes.

Do I feel pressure to do that? No.

I like to look in the mirror and see a version of me that reflects how I feel, basically. I’m 49 and I look fresher and brighter and more radiant if I use retinoids and hydrating skincare etc and I’m probably going to have Botox on the ‘number 11’ lines above my nose which make me look like I’m frowning a lot of the time. I will colour my hair if it starts to go grey. But I don’t feel like I have to / should do those things and I don’t look at other women my age and worry they look younger than me or anything.

Same here. I do things because I want to bit because I feel pressure. I am 50 and get Botox because I look more awake and less angry. I am under no illusion that I look younger, I just want to look the best version of me. I also wear sunscreen, hats and take care of my skin so it looks the best it can for my age and exercise and eat well for the same reason. I feel better about myself when I like how I look and that does not mean I don’t want to age or feel pressure not to age. I don’t work in a glamorous industry so certainly few I have to look a certain way to get ahead at work. I do live in an area where some people go way overboard with filler etc and start to look the same (filler to me is what makes people look crazy and not like themselves, not Botox) and seeing these women acts as a good reality check that a lot of these procedures/tweaks do not make you look younger or bettter