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AIBU?

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Original poster

To say DH needs to stay home next weekend?

162 replies

Mediocrewife · 28/09/2025 21:52

Arguing with DH. He's come back from his hobby and told me he's away hillwalking next weekend. No discussion which is not like him. Just I'm away with my friends for the whole day. Again.
The last two weekends he's been away for most of both days doing sporty thing/hobby, weekend after next he's away training for his work. Weekend after that he's something else on again.
So next weekend I was actually looking forward to having some help and time with him.I've broken my arm and its still really sore so I've been struggling with housework, running around and picking up kids and looking after our dogs. He's just got a new dog so more work.
Except its me whose bloody doing the work. Or it feels like it! I'm bloody knackered! I need a bit of help!
I've had no time to do any of the billing for my business this weekend or clean my van or you know.....relax! I'm supposed to be resting my arm.

Probably being unreasonable but I'm sore and tired and cannot see a compromise. He's not usually like this.

OP posts:
Mintyt · 30/09/2025 04:08

This was once my life, he was having an affair

HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 30/09/2025 07:38

Sabrinathewitch · 29/09/2025 23:07

I wouldn't accept this at all

Me and my dh spend every weekend together we prefer each other's company and to be together

There’s a balance to be had surely? It’s okay to spend time with friends, just not every weekend and when your wife has a broken arm!

AgileMentor · 30/09/2025 07:46

cadburyegg · 28/09/2025 21:55

You’ve broken your arm, got kids and dogs to look after and he’s going off every chance he gets to do his hobbies and hanging out with his mates? Fuck that. He needs to be at home almost all of the time right now imo.

summed it up perfectly.

Catwalking · 30/09/2025 07:46

Are you expected to drive with your broken arm?

puggywuggy · 30/09/2025 13:11

Put your foot down now. Children family dogs are a joint responsibility - if he didn’t want that he shouldn’t have signed up. Marriage is not an add on for a single life - sadly many men think they can just carry on with their old lives and dip in and out on their family when it suits them. You’ve got a broken arm and a new dog he shouldn’t be going away any weekend right now. Him not even discussing it does not sound good. Please don’t put up with this level of disrespect and lack of care. People show you what they’re like by how they treat you and you deserve better.

Mondayblues2 · 30/09/2025 15:07

alfonzi · 30/09/2025 00:12

A colleagues husband tried to get her pregnant with their second child while he was plotting and planning to run off and start a new family with his girlfriend at work.

She didn’t know what he was planning at the time of course, but thankfully she refused as they were already struggling to juggle work and childcare and childcare already mostly fell on her as he was spending a lot of time “at work”.

8 months later he moved into his girlfriends house that he had been having an affair with for at least a year or so. He messed my friend about with the care of their joint kid which meant she had to call in to request she WFH a few times. but it struck us how it would’ve been far worse had she been pregnant. It was clear he had wanted to keep her stuck and isolated and struggling to move on by leaving her with a small baby.

I don’t know why so many men get extra evil and vindictive when they’ve already blown up the woman’s life by leaving!

I’ve always said it’s usually men who try and trap women with babies not the other way around. Men can’t be trapped by kids as they can and do easily walk away.

Show quote history

This sorry tale rings a bell, did you post a thread about it?

Ljm90 · 30/09/2025 19:59

InMyShowgirlEra · 29/09/2025 17:21

"Oh really? I'm not available to look after your pets and your kids so you'll need to organise a dog sitter and childcare for the whole weekend. I might go away too. Have fun."

"Well then, the kids are going to their grandma's, and if she wont look after them then they're going to my mate Keith's- I don't care. I'm going hill walking whether you like it or not! Your choice!". Do you women not realise that this shit doesn't work with men like this? And yes there's probably another woman- family life is mind numbingly boring and restrictive (and don't think he'll have the kids 50% of the time if you split- they'll do anything to get out of it, including moving hundreds of miles away).

Ljm90 · 30/09/2025 20:00

childofthe607080s · 29/09/2025 18:07

Your instant response should have been
”well who is looking after the kids as my hotel is already booked “

One of their grandma's or a babysitter

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 30/09/2025 20:23

He's very self centred and thoughtless.

MedievalNun · 01/10/2025 18:40

NRTFT BUT I hope he’s not planning on hillwalking in NW Wales / Eryri (Snowdonia) this weekend - we’re on a severe storm warning with wind speeds of up to 50 - 60mph at sea level which will be significantly stronger the higher you go.

That said, he’s being a bit of a dick leaving you to cope & you with a broken arm - he should be supporting you, not adding to things!

Blondeshavemorefun · 01/10/2025 21:49

Mediocrewife · 29/09/2025 22:02

thanks for everyones advice. Sorry, I'm not a troll! just in pain and gutted that my DH has been such a twat!
Our marriage is usually pretty good so this situation did throw me. Hence why I asked on here.
Heated words were had this morning. Thanks to pp who reminded me to change the language. He is not 'helping' me, he's participating in an equal relationship. Long and short of it is he's apologised for being a thoughtless twat. Sorry. A selfish thoughtless twat. He's promised to step up and be more present in HIS family. Usually he is, I think he just needed a fuckin wake up call!
We both work and it does sometimes take us away from home. But going forwards, weekends will be more family focused.
We've more talking to do but its a start. I did ask if he hated spending time with me. He was horrified I felt that way.
He's not doing horizontal hillwalking though that did make me smile! Literally just wants to do stuff with his friends and 'never thought'.

Just seen this. Thats nice. You discussed. He said sorry

alfonzi · 01/10/2025 21:53

Mondayblues2 · 30/09/2025 15:07

This sorry tale rings a bell, did you post a thread about it?

Show quote history

No I definitely didn’t start a thread about it but it’s possible I may have posted about it in someone else’s thread?

Unfortunately this kind of crap seems so common that it’s very likely you’re referring to another poster though.

Oh and to add to the story he was from a non EU country and decided to leave the same year he finally got British Citizenship. What a coincidence eh?

He would have had to leave Britain years ago had they not married. So he was obviously very calculated going in to it.

It’s really chilling the way some people can just use and dump you when it suits them.

OP this may be just be a temporary blip for your husband, but keep an eye to make sure it’s not a pattern!

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