AIBU - that sadly, MN is losing its way?

[IntoChanges]

I’ve been on here for a long time and it just feels like it’s not the same place anymore.☹️
It used to be full of useful advice, proper support, funny threads that would keep you reading for hours; the odd bunfight over parking or a real time thread to liven things up, building curiosity and tension. How invested were we!

Now it seems to be:

• endless politics (so much mis-information, which even when challenged isn't backed up with evidence)
• OPs who never come back after their first ‘interesting’ post (so what’s the point?)
• weirdly written stuff that doesn’t sound like a real person/situation at all
• and a lot of repeat topics/commonly applied situations that feel very ‘clickbait’
• no flow - posters jumping in when they haven't read the thread, saying the same thing again and again; endless arguing when posters take exception to something not directed at them; posters unable to accept a bigger picture of a majority rather than their one single view
• derailed threads (immigration, politics)

I miss the days when you could ask a silly question about your laundry habits, or what to cook for fussy toddlers, and get 100 replies that were funny, blunt, supportive or all three. That felt like the whole point of MN, quite light-hearted but sound advice by real people.

I know the site says it’s “for grown-ups” and they don’t want to over-moderate, which I do get.
But honestly — am I the only one who feels like MN is losing its way a bit? Or is this just where all SM/forums are heading?

In hindsight, the cliques and arse kissers were a bit annoying, but they weren't actively malicious. Many posters these days seem to be spoiling to ruin someone's day.

Late to this but I agree: MN was a place where you could get unsentimental support, peer advice, and not expect a kicking. AIBU is just fight club now: and not even witty fight club - it's just a bullies' forum. MN used to throw up such witty threads. God I miss it. Been here 19 years now...

I wonder if it’s a generational change of behaviour or just the way of the internet now?

Ive been here for yonks and always enjoyed a good old debate on AIBU, but almost every thread now it’s like at least 50% of PP’s are waiting to tear you apart and wilfully misunderstand and misrepresent over and over until an OP gives up.

And the sheer amount of replies of people having a dig or moan along the lines of ‘not this again’.. Can no one just scroll past😅😅😅

I wonder if it’s a generational change of behaviour or just the way of the internet now?

I don't think it's an age thing as the average user of MNs is probably 50 ish?

Yeah, but I was thinking more of the ‘new’ generation of users I suppose, not us old dino’s🦖🦕🦖

Are loads of new users younger though? I think it's more just how people are ruder, angrier, etc on the internet and in real life tbh.

I just don't understand why so many posters seem to want to argue or pile on the OP.

79% of posters who voted feel MN is losing its way, for all of the reasons we have listed.

Not a good result MN.

I don’t disagree and tbh I’m just speculating really.

The pile-ons seem constant these days, it’s a real shame and must put people off posting.

I’ve found that I’ve come to expect pile-ons, even as I start reading a new post, I can spot the potential ‘hiccups’ that an OP has made by saying something that will get picked over and twisted etc and just think, oh, here we go..😑

Been here yonks, decades, starting with the SEN boards. NC'd occasionally but have stuck with my name for ages - it shortens to THING, if you haven't noticed.

The big difference seems that so many now spend their lives on their smartphones to do whatever they do. Too much extreme politics and extreme categorizing of regular people.

There's always been the London-centric brigade now this has extended to every other urban centric place whereby people live the same as a paint by numbers oil painting kit; Paint 1 that colour, 2 that colour and so on until you get the identikit picture. And woe betide those who don't live life by the formula.

To be sure the old fandoms expressed towards the old MN Queens was nauseating but even then there was a certain amount of humour between the chasms of thought - at least he Brexit threads were amusing.

And who couldn't miss the smugness of Xenia, who still hangs around I think but even the extremes of hatred MN now expresses has quietened that poster down.

My favourite poster has been derxa who often would just post "." I think she's a sheep farmer in the Scottish Highlands but could be anyone for all I know.

I’d love to see a ‘Top 20 MN Classic’s’ listing and get to read them all! Wonder if this has been done..

@Junglistmass - screaming at the Sistene Chapel, snapped and farted, Mexican houseguest (my favourite) and Korean gardening lady immediately springs to mind for some top threads.

Penis beaker is probably the all-round MN winner although it never piqued my fancy but then it's a matter of 'taste'.

It occured to me today that it feels like it's been infiltrated with supporters of a certain political ideology that has a lot of £££ backers who could conceivably do that. Paying people/bots to push their unkindness and lack of empathy on here and other platforms so that it feels like the norm. I think they've pushed it a tad too hard now and it seems obvious that these aren't genuine accounts.

Are you talking about reform supporters? If you are, I think these people are reflecting the polls, and are genuine. It’s only natural you would see some of the millions of voters they have on here.

Much as I’d like to say they’re not real, I tend to agree with this - Reform do have a lot of support - it’s much like Brexit.

Love it!

Perhaps we need a pinned MN Classic’s post with links to all the old faves 🩷

Yes, and it’s reflective of thinking that your view is the only view that leads pp to think that they are ‘obviously’ bots or paid. I doubt either is true. I see this a lot from Labour supporters who simply can not envisage a world with different views from theirs. It’s more worrying than the far right even. Such rigid thinking and closed mindset is a danger to democracy and critical thinking.

I obviously don’t support reform, but I am willing to imagine there are plenty of people that do (given the independent and verified polls) so why wouldn’t they post? 🤷‍♀️

It would be like me saying anyone that posts supporting Starmer has to be a bot because a human being could not be so brainless as to actually support a failing disaster like him. It must be a bot. Same thing. It closes down resl debate and discussion. Maybe that’s the intention?

• Reasoned Debate

I've been on MN for over 10 years now under different usernames and I do think the tone has shifted in the last 12 months. It's been really noticeable in the last few.
The only long-running threads that have felt very 'MN' to me recently have been the ones on the Salt Path controversy. I've not read them all but the first couple of threads reminded me of the wit that used to prevail on here.

I miss that too! Maybe we should bring it back.

The lack of humour may highlight how tired we are as a nation. I do still see plenty of wit and humour in real life though I am happy to say - so maybe posters conserve energy now for their lives and professions -
everything has become so heavy on SM.

I think political debate is good whatever your views. However, on here, there is increasingly blatant lies posted. Misinformation is dangerous and becomes true.

The very frustrating thing is that even with hard evidence of lies and misinformation, comments are allowed to stand.

Reports to MN are of no use, they want discussion (clicks for revenue).

The suspicion about bots comes about because the poster doesn't debate, doesn't provide evidence, doesn't answer. They make a statement full of lies and disappear. Very dangerous.

I know there are Reform voters out there, and on here. But there are certain political pressure points which get one single reaction from many posters who never return to the thread. The Starmer threads, for instance, tend to have returning posters, both for and against. I know that there are Reformers, of course- I'm just pointing out the different posting habits and wondering if it flags anything.

It's not just the politics threads, not by a long shot. I'm not sure that politics bleeds into threads about relationship issues, requests for life advice, etc?

There do seem to be bots, though.

I’m a bit of afraid of posting on here now as people are so aggressive. It’s the same on most social media. You can’t just disagree on a point. It turns into personal insults.

There were lots of super intelligent women on MN and lots of wonderful humour. You have to really dig nowadays to find intelligence and articulacy.
Theres a lot of cookie cutter standard MOR / pc mouthing posts. Virtue signalling and Pearl clutching.
Its definitely harder to find interesting threads nowadays.