AIBU - that sadly, MN is losing its way?

[IntoChanges]

I’ve been on here for a long time and it just feels like it’s not the same place anymore.☹️
It used to be full of useful advice, proper support, funny threads that would keep you reading for hours; the odd bunfight over parking or a real time thread to liven things up, building curiosity and tension. How invested were we!

Now it seems to be:

• endless politics (so much mis-information, which even when challenged isn't backed up with evidence)
• OPs who never come back after their first ‘interesting’ post (so what’s the point?)
• weirdly written stuff that doesn’t sound like a real person/situation at all
• and a lot of repeat topics/commonly applied situations that feel very ‘clickbait’
• no flow - posters jumping in when they haven't read the thread, saying the same thing again and again; endless arguing when posters take exception to something not directed at them; posters unable to accept a bigger picture of a majority rather than their one single view
• derailed threads (immigration, politics)

I miss the days when you could ask a silly question about your laundry habits, or what to cook for fussy toddlers, and get 100 replies that were funny, blunt, supportive or all three. That felt like the whole point of MN, quite light-hearted but sound advice by real people.

I know the site says it’s “for grown-ups” and they don’t want to over-moderate, which I do get.
But honestly — am I the only one who feels like MN is losing its way a bit? Or is this just where all SM/forums are heading?

It’s more than that. If you look back on some of the old threads in ‘classics’ eg from around 2010, communication between posters is very, very different. More like reading a friends’ WhatsApp chat.

I agree with what you say @IntoChanges

That is actually a good point.

2016 seemed to be a turning point that never quite recovered. Plus 2020-21 which had a slow recovery back to a more regular equalibrium.

There was a phase in the late 2010s of people needing "trigger warnings" about light-hearted threads which drained the natural humour. The brief phase of the laughter reaction recently did get a bit more humour going again before the trolls used it insidiously in deeply inappropriate ways.

The last 10 years have seen waves of botting and political interference and it does feel chronic now; it's not just election time any more.

It's all part of a wider shift in society and use of the internet. Twitter reducing debate to soundbites had a generally harmful effect and I'm not a fan of the "you're with me or against me stance" that wipes out nuance.

I hope there'll be a societal shift back to a more moderate central ground in the next few years... I'm not holding my breath though.

Nah it's way nastier these days.

I was just thinking about this today. When I first posted in 2003/4 about problems I was having with breast-feeding and sleep with my first DC, so many women were infinitely kind and gentle - explaining what they thought was going on, no judgement, so much humour and knowledge. A lot of it was about being a mum and all that entailed.

I think AIBU and Chat has made the whole site less focused and more click-baity, but I suppose they need to chase the as revenue to survive. People seem to use the specialised boards less, but perhaps there are too many of them? I agree with PPs that the agression and judgement and harsh speaking is off the scale. But maybe Mumsnet is just going the way of other social media such as Twitter, Facebook, TikTok etc, a bit more slowly but the same patterns are emerging.

It's a pity.

Even your post OP is a sign of changing times.

Never used to see so many ; (semi colons) and — (em dashes)

But I agree people could be nicer.

The ‘what we are wearing’ threads suffered from being featured on Tattle (? May have got the name wrong) where there was a thread devoted to mocking those who were posting their outfits. I don’t know if that’s the reason people stopped posting but I imagine it could have contributed.

AIBU was always robust, but there was a difference between being politely direct without sugar coating and just going in for a kicking.

There are lots of lovely corners of the site and friendly long-running chats too. The regulars being little communities find it easier to fend off idiots trying their luck.

Is the site not what it was because MNHQ are ‘allowing’ misinformation and moderating usage less.
Can they spot the ‘bots’ or posters blatantly sharing lies?

I have reported a thread title for being blatantly untrue. Evidence provided on the thread confirms the title is untrue. Therefore, political misinformation. Yet MN have refused to take it down, or ask for it to be corrected, preferring ‘active debate’.

Yet, flicking through the active threads, the lie is there. People will see it, not read the thread and assume it is true.

Awful!

Admittedly, MN royalty was a bit of a pain in the arse . But at the same time there were lots of other recognisable characters whose word I felt I could trust slightly more.

MN royalty really wasn’t that bad. Yes, there were a few posters who were deemed funnier or more relevant than everyone else but to be fair, they were funny, and they put effort into their posts and into building the community, even when being (intentionally, I always assumed) massively controversial. The fact that I can remember so many of their names even now is testament to the impact that they had in making MN something different to everything else out there. I’d have that back in a heartbeat, quite frankly.
(Caveat: despite a long and fairly prolific MN history, almost entirely with this one username, I am not, and have never, been classed in that group 😂)

(Caveat: despite a long and fairly prolific MN history, almost entirely with this one username, I am not, and have never, been classed in that group 😂)

I've been around for donkey's years, but I change my name more than I change my socks, primarily because I'm a chronic oversharer. I can however guarantee I'm way too boring to have ever been included in any popular group!

I time-travelled to 2012 and brought this thread back to show us all how things haven't changed that much ... and, to be fair, how much has:

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/1605484-MN-IS-NOW-OFFICIALLY-A-JOKE-FREE-ZONE-BECAUSE-EVERYTHING-IS-REALLY-SERIOUS-AND-GUARANTEED-TO-OFFEND-SOMEONE-SOMEWHERE-IN-A-CUPBOARD-IN-1970

This is great! Whatever happened to Hullygully

Was hoping to see myself on there, but I was never on board with the nonsense threads, I don't think I've got the right sense of humour.

😢 She reappeared for a bit in 2020, but nary a peep since the pandemic. I'd like to believe she's still here with a new name, but nobody's that terse any more!

Well, the newly arrived, po-faced twunts are terse but they ain't sharp or funny. My Tardis trip did make me more nostalgic than I expected.

Speaking of nonsense, some of the Friday night drunk threads were HILARIOUS. If you were drunk, that is 😂😵

They culminated with New Year's Eve of ... 2017, maybe? It was utterly bonkers, I was genuinely crying/laughing (and a little tiddly, natch). The Professionally Offended reported so many posts, the intern MNHQ had left in charge panicked and shut the whole forum down. Thus ended the crazy drunk threads.

There was a point when it went the other way and almost everyone was banned for saying even the truth such as trans women were not biological women. Almost over moderated, and we lost quite a few excellent posters , who refused to return. I imagine it’s a difficult balance. if you remember the dark early days of the trans debate.

Its peaks and troughs, like real life. I found this site was remarkable in the pandemic for instance, when people were genuinely frightened and isolated. The huge rows about reopening schools galvanised an entire movement.

In the early days we had cliques and packs drowning out other views. It’s an organic process and reflects real life - I think of it as a societal mirror. Given we are currently in transition as a country the reflection maybe mixed! It all depends how you view it too, what’s relevant to you personally at any one time.

This! I have just reported something exactly like this and was told it can stand. An absolute unevidenced and dangerous bit of misinformation just asserted as fact in the thread. I don't really understand the point of the misinformation reporting option if they are not going to moderate it properly. Replying in the thread 8 posts on that it is a lie can easily be missed and as you say the falsehood just stands.

This investigation by the Guardian is illuminating and depressing in equal measure.
I’ll have a read of the EVERYTHING IS REALLY SERIOUS thread to cheer myself up.

I agree. Especially with all the weird mumsnet ads appearing on the chat page it looks really fake and has completely lost its candour and honesty. It just comes off as really gauche and it feels like the threads are spammed to the hilt with these junk adverts. I also think there are likely many threads started by mnhq or bots as they just sound so constructed and fake. In addition there will be journalists posting to try and kick off a newsworthy bun fight. It all just feels like it’s lost that feeling of transparency and community.

It is really frustrating and is adding to the blatant spread of misinformation.

I want better from MNHQ.

@MNHQ
Maybe the answer is to have some kind of mutually beneficial collaboration with Aston Institute of Forensic Linguistics who were so keen on analysing Mumsnet usage a while ago. I’d be interested to see a proposal (although I wasn’t at all keen on the data scraping that Aston was trying at the time).

Whilst at the time, I didn’t appreciate the clique and remember coming head to head with certain posters myself myself who were doing their usual thread police act 😄, looking back now I can see that they definitely brought something different and a uniqueness to the site which having frequented netmums up until then was a welcome breath of fresh air.

It does suck here now - too many bullies. I'd rather go to Reddit for advice tbh