AIBU - that sadly, MN is losing its way?

[IntoChanges]

I’ve been on here for a long time and it just feels like it’s not the same place anymore.☹️
It used to be full of useful advice, proper support, funny threads that would keep you reading for hours; the odd bunfight over parking or a real time thread to liven things up, building curiosity and tension. How invested were we!

Now it seems to be:

• endless politics (so much mis-information, which even when challenged isn't backed up with evidence)
• OPs who never come back after their first ‘interesting’ post (so what’s the point?)
• weirdly written stuff that doesn’t sound like a real person/situation at all
• and a lot of repeat topics/commonly applied situations that feel very ‘clickbait’
• no flow - posters jumping in when they haven't read the thread, saying the same thing again and again; endless arguing when posters take exception to something not directed at them; posters unable to accept a bigger picture of a majority rather than their one single view
• derailed threads (immigration, politics)

I miss the days when you could ask a silly question about your laundry habits, or what to cook for fussy toddlers, and get 100 replies that were funny, blunt, supportive or all three. That felt like the whole point of MN, quite light-hearted but sound advice by real people.

I know the site says it’s “for grown-ups” and they don’t want to over-moderate, which I do get.
But honestly — am I the only one who feels like MN is losing its way a bit? Or is this just where all SM/forums are heading?

All I can say is the vipers on the Feminists W R board are amazing. Totally. The threads on the Sandy Peggie tribunal are phenomenal. Also the Glinner court case thread and many many others.

That's why I stay, and I largely avoid the dross boards (won't say what they are, but they're just my own avoided ones), but if something catches my eye I'll join in, and if can offer some knowledge I will. I take in lots of information from other posters also.

Be selective in what posts you read. Set up watched threads and follow only topics that you have an interest in.

I enjoy many hours browsing the site and yes it has become quite repetitive, but that's probably because many of us have been here a long time and are not just starting out, so kind of know how things will pan out by now.

People do take themselves to seriously and some of the advice is to judgemental and gloomy. I agree with another poster the far right threads is becoming more and more tedious to read. They want a reason to be unhappy and are happy when they are unhappy.

I hate when people say I feel sorry for your kids when you give an opinion. Can you imagine someone talking to you like that in real life

Yes! The jobs are always 'niche ' but turn out to be dull, everyday jobs such as software developer or finance manager or actuary. It's the same with hobbies, the 'outing' hobbies are always cycling, riding or golf!

These are the threads that feel like brainwashing. I always wonder if I'm one of very few who are tolerant and believe in our British values.

Is this bots trying to convince the country? But on MN….? Why?

I think the majority of the sites issues is in AIBU and chat can get a bit heated. I was reading a thread earlier and 2 posters were arguing over bread it's insane.

I have never hidden as many threads as I do now in the last 20 years that I’ve been on Mumsnet for all the reasons you’ve stated. I just don’t have the mental energy anymore to deal with them. As soon as I see a politics/immigration/benefit thread it’s gone from my active list.

I can't say it's happening on here but I have read in the past that Russia does social media campaigns either making fake news or other tactics to stirr up public discourse in enemy nations

If they are Farage bots, they would target Mumsnet because they think that left wing sites such as Reddit are impossible to post on. Here, there are lots of people with gender critical beliefs that are often (incorrectly imo) mixed up with Farage and Reform.

It's like most things though, it just gets a bit boring after a while. It's probably people that haven't anything better to do that start boring threads that are all similar

I don't seem to find many interesting threads to read these days.

I don't think it is just MN though, it's just the same old stuff everywhere.

Would MN stop something like that though?

Surely they want to stay true to their aims if advice and support for parents. Not constantly have political posts which shut down the day to day dialogue. Even the posts about children/schools become ‘the state is trying to control’.
Kier Starmer slaughtered today for daring to suggest that our children are not getting a good start in life. Why would people argue that he is wrong to be worried about want children to have the best start possible. Shouldn't that be what we all want for the nations children.

Maybe time for more moderation by MN otherwise genuine posters will be lost, with bots taking over.

Genuine question is there a way for websites to know for sure if something is written by AI?

I’ve been on here for a long time and I’m not sure it’s changed that much at all. Maybe it’s because you’re no longer part of the zeitgeist, I see it’s happened to my parents and no doubt it will happen to me. The world changes and your views and opinions may not be compatible with the ‘norm’. It’s easy to dismiss it as your views are correct and ‘the world has gone to pot’ (as my dad often tells me)! I think people have thought that for decades. I’ve never known this site as a hub of (in your words) ‘intellectual debate’, but obviously that’s a sliding scale as I’ve no idea what your idea of intellectual debate is.

My hobby is ballet dancing while balancing a plant on my head and wearing an old tablecloth as a sarong. It’s quite outing.

My niche job is as an underwater moon specialist. V outing.

Might have to delete myself.

The thread comments now are very similar in tone to those you see on Facebook following a newspaper story. People seemingly feeling a need to stick the boot in for their own amusement and the dopamine hit from the Likes etc.

I think Mumsnet at its best is great and so supportive of women and mothers in the main.
Also very funny at times.
But the world is getting nastier and maybe it’s inevitable that will find its way into every communication.
There has always been a little bit of Islamophobia but now it seems to be a lot more brazen.
I’ve noticed more and more Americans/ American terminology and I wonder if maybe a lot of Trump fans came over as a result of discussions about gender.

There’s always a tendency towards nostalgia and only remembering the great posts from the past, and bloody AI posts and responses aren’t helping, plus the world in general feels uncertain and anxiety-inducing at the moment. But there was a recent thread that captured the current problem really well — about “Foggers”, who come into a thread and latch onto a detail which is either absolutely tiny or completely misread, then proceed to flog the OP with this detail (OP must be lying about their earnings/property/number of kids/whole personality) and it makes the thread toxic and useless.

Probably just another flavour of troll, but no one needs that in this difficult world right now, particularly when OPs are writing about their own tricky issues.

But what is ‘the norm’, surely there are a mix of people on here, all with different views.
My views are not relevant, it is the quantity and style of some views that shut down everything else. Threads where posters just spout misinformation and even when evidence is proved to the contrary, just continue or ignore.

The thread today about an OP finding out from a friend that her own son had got engaged and not told them was a perfect example — it turned out the couple were making a special surprise trip up to see the family and share the news, but posters were falling over themselves to tell the OP how she was so distant from the son and clearly had a terrible relationship with him, why on earth would he share that happy news with his awful distant mother?

FFS, they were really trying to give the woman an absolute kicking for their own delight. Idiots.

Yep and usually it’s something boring like horse riding. And I am like how is that outing you’re anon 😂

Yes, I agree. There used to be room on here for a bit of frivolity and playfulness, for want of a better word. Genuinely amusing and lighthearted threads. Now, if someone is a bit ‘left-field’ or flippant it’s all ‘what on earth are you talking about?’ or ‘don’t be so ridiculous, just google it.’ etc.

Like the post yesterday with the woman who had 3 children and was struggling financially. Lots of comments jumping on her how dare you have a third child.. a third child is a luxury. How dare you claim Uc asking the government to support your terrible choices !!! The people on that post were really mean

I agree! It used to be funny posts about strange situations or people asking for advice. Responses used to be sarcastic, witty and supportive but now everyone is just nasty.