To want a coffee shop with a no children policy

[Amiterriblex3]

In a coffee shop and have to listen to a bunch of 2 year old screaming, absolutely screaming at the top of his lungs. Their mothers might be immune to such noise but I am not. I would be embarrassed if my child screamed like that

Mine would be no under-8s and no dogs.
I find that loud phonecalls are rare so I wouldn’t add it to the list - but would be frowned upon ;)

Adult only
No dogs
No phones or electronic devices
Bring a newspaper or book

Or actually TALK to others. All in my dreams lol.

My local coffee shop/cafe is run by the nearby sheltered care facility (hospital) for disabled and Downs young adults. It is noisy, crazy, great food, lovely coffee and the staff are delightful, learning skills to help them move on from special care and obtain some life skills. But it is LOUD.

I use it a lot despite the noise as I feel I'm supporting the facility and its members. But I have to say there is another one nearby in a swanky apartment complex that is set up for WFH tenants of the apartments. Cool decor, fancy coffee, and it's so quiet! I go there for respite.

Meant in a light hearted way. Maybe OP’s idea could work though?

🤣 DD is 18 so I doubt it! I’m not remotely offended by child free spaces for people who don’t want to be around children, good for them. I just think it’s odd to choose Mumsnet to post about it. There are likely more sympathetic child hating forums than one primarily for parenting run by mums! These sort of posts feel deliberately aimed at goading mums, most of whom have a tough enough time these days.

When DD was little I was incredibly fortunate that she never went through a tantrum stage so sat quietly reading, colouring, playing or chatting to me in cafes. If she had been a screamer I wouldn’t have taken her to cafes.

a very small demographic, one where most people are at work during the day, has no chance of surviving.

Noisy wee feckers👀😂 I have four DC and remember the loud toddler stage well... Unfortunately two have autism and never get out of the noisy stage!

I look forward to the start of each school day...silence.

Most kids are fine though. You wouldn’t suggest banning all adults because there always seems to be at least one in every cafe who puts their phone on speaker to have a loud conversation or has a teams meetings without headphones. Certain cafes have a more child friendly vibe and they encourage the more lax parents so I avoid them in the same way as I avoid rowdier pubs

I have two opposing opinions on this

1. there are a lot of childfree people who love to air their views about how tedious kids are on MN and it gets tiresome

2. why shouldn't people with kids enjoy the opportunity to be in a quiet space when they don't have their children with them? Despite having primary-aged children of my own I do find that kids have the ability to shatter the silence in a way that doomscrollers and chatters don't (probably the pitch)

Hmm, not convinced. Not everyone works Monday-Friday 9-5/6 or whatever from their business's premises - working hours and set-ups are so much more flexible now, not to mention shift work.

I would love a quiet cafe! Absolute bliss!

You'd be embarrassed if a toddler was a toddler?

And also, no dogs!

Be careful! I commented on a coffee shops hard surfaces making kids screams echo - and got banned!

I’d be embarrassed (with myself) if my toddler acted like that and I didn’t remove them from the situation.

Surely part of being a parent is teaching your kids what behaviour is and isn’t acceptable.

Absolutely agree with you. I wouldn’t choose a cafe aimed at toddlers these days. DD is 18.

I have no objection to the OPs request. Or to child free cafes. More that posts like this one feel deliberately aimed at upsetting mums. The chances are those mums with screaming toddlers are already having a tough time. Sure some may be bad parents but I bet 99% are struggling and could do with support rather than being goaded on a space they come to for support.

Actually you might have something there. Be lovely for neurodiverse people as well.

I would RUN to a coffee shop that had a sign saying no children, no iPads and no Peppa. And probably dogs too, unless it's a nice country walk one, where they mostly seem to be trained by normal humans.

Aye the toddlers need to learn. Even though they don't have the full capacity to learn. They should learn.

I mean... you can want what you like, but it's unlikely that coffee shop owners will want to exclude such a chunk of potential customers, so I don't think you'll get it.

Why do people always bring up dogs on threads about children? They’re not remotely the same. Apparently.

That's a really strange way to look at it. Agree the trolls and misogynists are a problem, but where on earth has anyone said or even intimated that 'mums can’t have nice things and need to learn to share'? Most cafes and similar establishments will always be family-friendly, and thinking it's reasonable for there to be some childfree spaces too is not child hating. (And, for the record, neither is being childfree by choice.) Tbh I don't even think this conversation would be taking place if more parents would parent more effectively, because their kids would know how to behave in public.

Do you genuinely consider any wish on someone's behalf to be away from children at any time to be 'anti child'? I mean, as a parent, presumably you sometimes want child free time yourself?

I don't understand what you mean by 'It’s literally in the title' btw.

Some age-appropriate teaching can take place at the toddler stage, yes.

Most 2 year olds are capable of understanding “no”, and being removed if they are behaving in a way their parent doesn’t like.

They can always try again when they’re in a non-screaming mood.

Would you prefer to live in a society where the majority of coffee shops have a no child policy or one where there are occasional kids screaming in coffee shops?

@Amiterriblex3- my advice is to check out if any local coffee shops or cafes do pensioner discounts.

In most towns, the people around in the working day who can keep a coffee shop in business are SAHMs and retired people. You’ll have much more luck with somewhere focussed on the older customer.

Also any cafe with an upstairs seating area. No one’s taking a buggy upstairs so it’s older children only.