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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To want a coffee shop with a no children policy

391 replies

Amiterriblex3 · 28/09/2025 11:51

In a coffee shop and have to listen to a bunch of 2 year old screaming, absolutely screaming at the top of his lungs. Their mothers might be immune to such noise but I am not. I would be embarrassed if my child screamed like that

OP posts:
TwoBagsOfCompost · 02/10/2025 08:10

We recently spent a few nights in an adults-only hotel. It was bliss. When we parked one evening, we saw a family of four, with two wailing toddlers in tow, slowly making their way to another hotel nearby. Our relief was off the charts 😬😬😬

ClosetBasketCase · 02/10/2025 08:50

Oh god! Yes please!!!! This should totally be a thing! We were never allowed to screech like that when we were young. and taught our kids the same thing! Literaly nothing worse than going for a coffee and there being screaming kids everywhere!

Oldrockchic · 02/10/2025 09:13

KhakiAnt · 29/09/2025 19:47

Jeez a lot of people are so intolerant of anyone that isn’t exactly the same as themselves. Shall we do away with disabled people too? Some can be a bit noisy and annoying asking for ramps and special toilets. Or maybe ban people over 75 because they can be a little bit slow moving around and getting to their tables…children are allowed to be in public, they can also make noise and learn how to be socialised. Maybe just do away with intolerant selfish folk, bring on the toddlers I say!

Comments like this are so stupid. Nobody is looking to 'ban' anyone. This thread suggests that it would be nice to be able to relax in child-free coffee shops. Obviously there would be other places to take children to, there's no shortage.

I feel the same about dogs. It would be nice, in an average size town centre, to be able to find an eating/drinking place that is dog free. That doesn't mean 'ban dogs from everywhere' 🙄

KhakiAnt · 02/10/2025 09:16

Oldrockchic · 02/10/2025 09:13

Comments like this are so stupid. Nobody is looking to 'ban' anyone. This thread suggests that it would be nice to be able to relax in child-free coffee shops. Obviously there would be other places to take children to, there's no shortage.

I feel the same about dogs. It would be nice, in an average size town centre, to be able to find an eating/drinking place that is dog free. That doesn't mean 'ban dogs from everywhere' 🙄

We can agree on dog free places!

Legomania · 02/10/2025 09:41

Oldrockchic · 02/10/2025 09:13

Comments like this are so stupid. Nobody is looking to 'ban' anyone. This thread suggests that it would be nice to be able to relax in child-free coffee shops. Obviously there would be other places to take children to, there's no shortage.

I feel the same about dogs. It would be nice, in an average size town centre, to be able to find an eating/drinking place that is dog free. That doesn't mean 'ban dogs from everywhere' 🙄

But without a healthy dollop of black and white thinking, this thread would only have hit about 20 posts!

FallingIntoAutumn · 02/10/2025 09:43

There’s one near me that has an over 13’s only room and a fantastic room for families.
it’s always busy. Both sides

Maddy70 · 02/10/2025 10:02

I want a no laptops and phones policy as well.

dreamiesformolly · 02/10/2025 14:16

XenoBitch · 01/10/2025 23:21

I had a toddler come up and try to grab my cake in a cafe. Mum didn't even notice they had wondered off.

I remember an MN-er saying once she'd seen a little girl wandering round a restaurant asking to taste what people were having, and the mum looking on fondly as she did so. 😮

Tayebanks · 26/11/2025 19:27

What do you suggest the mothers do? Beat them up? Do you think the mothers want to listen to screaming they also want to sit and relax.

PeonyPatch · 26/11/2025 19:28

Amiterriblex3 · 28/09/2025 11:51

In a coffee shop and have to listen to a bunch of 2 year old screaming, absolutely screaming at the top of his lungs. Their mothers might be immune to such noise but I am not. I would be embarrassed if my child screamed like that

I agree. Would also like train and plane carriages that are child free too 😂😂

UsernameMcUsername · 26/11/2025 19:46

SalamiSammich · 28/09/2025 11:55

Would you also bar people woth disabilities who make loud involuntary noises?

That's always my question

NoKidsSendDogs · 27/11/2025 01:08

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 28/09/2025 11:57

I mean if we go down this road we could all ban things we don’t like eg loud telephone conversations, loud in person conversations , people sitting on laptops, business meetings, etc

Or is this one of those posts trying to make out children are some how equivalent to dogs? Having read a post wanting dog free cafes?

I don't think so, plus dogs are infinitely better.

dreamiesformolly · 27/11/2025 09:17

Tayebanks · 26/11/2025 19:27

What do you suggest the mothers do? Beat them up? Do you think the mothers want to listen to screaming they also want to sit and relax.

You say that like there's nothing that can be done to calm a screaming child. It's daft to suggest that hitting them is the only way.

Tayebanks · 29/11/2025 22:41

dreamiesformolly · 27/11/2025 09:17

You say that like there's nothing that can be done to calm a screaming child. It's daft to suggest that hitting them is the only way.

Because believe it or not that’s how people act. What can you possibly do other than talk to them?

dreamiesformolly · 29/11/2025 23:19

Tayebanks · 29/11/2025 22:41

Because believe it or not that’s how people act. What can you possibly do other than talk to them?

Are you suggesting there's no way to stop a child from screaming? Bloody hell.

Yes, you talk to them. What you say matters. There's no point standing there ineffectually going, 'Oh, pleease, darling...' or bribing them, as so often seems to happen now. When I was little I knew perfectly well I wasn't allowed to scream just for the sake of screaming, and that if I did it when I was out in public there'd be a consequence. Not being hit, but the withdrawal of a treat or something I had been looking forward to. It worked.

BecauseIWantTo · 30/11/2025 03:45

I started going for lunch in our local Wetherspoons on days off and sitting with a book and a coffee.

It was cheap, quiet with no music and there were a few other people doing similar as I live in a very popular tourist area so coffee shops are often crammed with kids running wild.

The last few times I’ve gone (on different days but similar times) there has been two separate groups of mums with toddlers and prams.

The women were drinking wine in one of the groups and had multiple empty glasses/bottles on the table and the staff had to go over twice to tell them that the kids needed to be accompanied because they were running round the pub unattended.
It isn’t safe at all with staff carrying glasses, trays of drinks, hot food is being carried, sets of steep stairs and the fact the kids were out of view and could have run out of the pub without being noticed.
They were also clearly annoying other people who had been drinking and a man ended up telling them to piss off running round his table, it made one of the kids cry but I didn’t blame the man at all!

It would be so nice just to have some adult only spaces because some people have kids and want to carry on living as though they hadn’t, they don’t want having kids to impact their lives so everybody else has to suffer.

I don’t think it’s an unreasonable thing to want a peaceful space but some people act like you are suggesting children are segregated permanently from society, they make such a big fuss that no one dares to have a childfree business because it causes such a huge backlash and negative publicity. It’s made the news when a restaurants and cafes tried it because it caused so much outrage - mostly from people who lived miles away and were never going to visit.

I think if there were childfree travel services and they would be popular (especially flights!) but no one wants to risk being boycotted, the people boycotting would likely never use the service anyway and just enjoy being being outraged and complaining.

I stay in adult only hotels when going abroad and it’s getting harder to find them in some countries because people made such a fuss about discrimination that they aren’t as common.

I went away with a group of friends and most had kids but they are older now so they stayed in an adult only resort for the first time, my friends absolutely loved it and said it was a much better and more relaxing experience.

They have been away with their kids since they got older but it’s nice not to be around other peoples kids.

I don’t think my friends who are mothers hate children just because they wanted a break from them, I’d probably expect people who have kids to want some childfree time the most.

This is one of those things that evokes such strong feelings so it’s always going to be controversial and too big a risk for people to start up and advertise. I noticed a few pp mentioned the cafes who make it adult only by stealth and not making it appealing to people with children.
It should be common sense to find somewhere unsuitable for kids and expect some adult only quiet time but unfortunately like the groups in Wetherspoons some people will bring their kids anyway because they don’t want to be around other peoples kids but are happy to let everyone put up with theirs.
It’s why a lot of parents aren’t keen on childfree areas on flights because they don’t want to be in an area surrounded by kids, it’s the same as the people who bring shouting toddlers to the theatres or expensive restaurants and want a break from parenting so don’t bother.

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