To be fuming DH forgot school shoes AGAIN?

[solitudehiker]

Right so I sent DH into Clarks yesterday because DS2’s school shoes are literally falling apart sole coming off flapping around and I said PLEASE just get him black school shoes any black school shoes that fit his feet I don’t care what brand

He comes back smug as anything with… black TRAINERS 😑 like proper sporty ones not even pretending to be school shoes says “it’s all they had in his size” and now of course DS2 thinks they’re amazing and is buzzing to wear them

Except school are super strict and will 100% say no trainers allowed then I’ll be the one trying to explain it Monday morning and DS2 will have a meltdown because he wanted to wear them and I’ll look like the crap mum who can’t get it right

DH is now saying I’m being dramatic and “they’re basically the same thing” 🙄 and if school say anything he’ll “have a word” but he won’t be the one stood in the playground while the teacher side-eyes me

AIBU to be absolutely fuming and tempted to just go buy the right ones today even though money is tight and I’ll have to drag all 5 DC with me because DH has now “gone to watch the match with his mates” 😩

YANBU
And can identify (although I only have 2 DC - and DH to deal with!)
DS has a growth spurt a few years ago and after several online purchases of joggers, that I bought and returned as they were too big around the waist, I tasked DH to physically take DS shopping so he could try stuff on, informing him of the issue we had previously had. I was taking DD to a college open day.
Came back to find he had bought yet another pair of joggers that were the right length but way too big around the waist. DS had tried them on and they both knew they were too big....but I imagine he lost patience and just bought them anyway! So i took them back the next day and we were back to square 1.

Agree with this. Why can't he wear black trainers to school... much more comfortable than regular shoes and as long as no logo's this was fine at my DS school. I can't believe so much hate on MN towards your DH 😳

Because that's not the uniform? Your child's school uniform is irrelevant

I don't think we're disagreeing on anything. OP is left with the consequences of the wrong purchase. What's your beef, exactly?

What 5 children! I hope you have sent your husband for the 'snip'.

Who cares if they have 5 children. Jesus. Some people can handle and look after their kids. Op I hope it got sorted.

I'd be leaving my husband to deal with it all. He can take your son in and deal with the teachers when they tell him the trainers aren't permitted, and then he can also deal with the fallout of your son's mood when he inevitably has to go exchange them. Be sure to be busy with your mates when this all happens.
Ugh it's weaponised incompetence, so please don't fix it for him.

You said our opinion didn’t matter.
It doesn't matter whether other posters or your DH think trainers would be a better bet for your DS

and implied we posters who think trainers are better aren’t the ones who do deal with uniform disputes:
Easy to say you wouldn't put up with that kind of bullshit [school intransigence over petty regulations] when you're not the one dealing with the consequences.

I’m just piping up to say our opinions do matter and many of us are the ones who do deal with consequences & petty school policies.

OP also asked for our opinions.

Wow, it really wasn't meant to be that deep. I stand by it, though. For what it's worth, I think trainers might well be better, and I have little patience with over-zealous uniform regulations, but that doesn't help the parent dealing with the school at the end of the day.

Why did you decide to have 5 children with this man? As others have said you’ve actually got 6 and it’s no laughing matter.

How much of the prep for the football and swimming do you imagine this husband and father does?

Bath and bedtime require no advance planning or preparation apart from making sure the bath is the right temp. I'm pretty sure the H here doesn't launder the towels or the bedding and he isn't in charge of buying the right shampoo, conditioner, soap, lotion, etc.

Why didn’t you go buy the shoes in the first place? Surely you knew from past experience that this might happen? Prioritising hope over experience never works imo.

for all those saying - just let ds wear them to school on Monday.
That won't wash, because she needs to return/ exchange them because money is tight, and she can't once worn.

OP - the thing that I find disturbing about this thread is that he went out AGAIN on Sunday after being out all day and night on Saturday.

That is not normal and not on.
If you get to be away for a day and night at the weekend, then you make sure you are there to give your partner a break on the other weekend day, even if it is just for a couple of hours.

He works hard 6am - 5pm every day. So do you, only yours in 24/7 because of the baby.

Please make this manchild sit up and take notice that he is not pulling his weight.