Teacher asked who chose the pink bottle....

[Caszekey]

Ok, so it's more aibu to allow / encourage this behaviour.
Fairly identifiable so here goes.
5 year olds twin boys, both have long hair like their Dad which I put up for school. Ones favourite colour is pink. Both adore Frozen so wanted the dress up dresses (Kristoff is a minor character). Last WBD they dressed as Goldilocks and Red Riding Hood (bear, wolves are minor characters). School have jokingly passed comment previously about pink bobbles etc but today I was asked, incidentally, if I chose the pink bottles or them, do I pick costumes etc.
I don't know if she's curious or implying I'm doing something wrong but it's got me second guessing

The choices are child led and I reckon they'll age out of them but I don't want to pull the "boys don't do that" line when girls have so much fun.

So aibu to allow them to pick so freely ? We've not yet encountered a request for a dress for general living, just they like to be Princesses!

The people at school are being utter prats.

Haha yes. Some people are talking such shite on here.

This is so sad. My reception child wanted an in the night garden lunch box. So I bought him one. Now ex h said he'd get bullied. I said I won't give into bullies and my son will have what he wants. I did buy a second lunch box in the end as it was handy to have two and he chose which one he wanted each morning. 99% of the time it was the iTNG one.

stop pandering to the blue is boy and pink is girl shit. Let the boys do what they want. They are hurting no one. If other people can't handle it, and start being mean, that's them that are in the wrong.

Completely agree wrt this poster and a few others but plenty of “people of mumsnet” are properly gender critical as you can see from plenty of these posts, the ones saying of course boys can wear dresses, go for it, it doesn’t make them girls because you can’t change sex and the more ignoring of gender stereotypes the better.

This. It turns out none of you know what gender critical actually means. Explains a lot.

The majority of young children, from what I’ve seen around me, love pretty sparkly things.

It seems the same for dinosaurs. There are 4 of us with girls age 2-3 who all love glitter and dinosaurs. I have to regularly get her “boys” clothes as they are the ones with dinosaurs on. Which she picks herself!

ETA
If it gets mentioned again I’d straight up ask “ would you ask me the same question if it was green and the outfits were male?”

Why?

Could it be that the teacher has already asked your children who chose the pink bottles and they said Mummy. The teacher then asked you herself to clarify. Presumably your children wouldn’t have specified Mummy chose them because pink was the cheapest. School do obviously keep an eye all kinds of things to build up a picture in case of any additional support needed or causes for concern. It could have been just a question from a place of interest or potentially wanting to ensure the children are happy with the choices of clothing etc.

It’s possible for them to change sex so why do we have to make sure they know that they can’t?

If they want to wear pink let them. If they want to wear dresses let them. If you try and repress things like this they’ll have issues later on. They may well rebel. Let them be they aren’t doing anyone any harm and if anyone has a problem with it that’s their look out.

No it’s not possible for them to change sex.
Yes if they want to wear pink / dresses let them.

Again, not none of us. Some don’t. Plenty do. You do, I do, plenty of others on here do as well. And quite a few don’t.

This has been very eye opening vis a vis people’s complete lack of understanding around what gender critical means.

😂😂😂

I think it’s fine if they are choosing these things themselves, especially at that age.

My DD has dressed up as spiderman, Batman etc. has ‘boys’ water bottles, plays football and rugby, no one has ever said anything and I don’t think they would. I feel like people are more accepting of girls liking ‘boys’ things than boys liking ‘girls’ things which is wrong.

😂

Pink was originally a colour worn by men. I don’t know when that changed to be considered a girls’ colour, but I see no reason why colours should be considered to be the preserve of one sex or the other.

Odd behaviour I think. People will be talking and kids less likely to fit in which is important when u are young.
The left wing media are trying to convince this generation that every 2nd person is TLGBT+ but they aren't.
Looks like you are encouraging it.

I think the teacher was quickly trying to discern whether
a) your twin boys sometimes choose clothing/accessories that are more feminine-coded in your society and culture and you as a parent support their choices
b) you actively encourage your sons to wear more feminine-coded clothes and pick them out for them

The first is a parenting choice within the spectrum of normal, the second would be a concern.

I ask again, in the hope that someone will answer it. If you have a problem with little boys idolising female characters, do you also have an issue with the reverse? I suspect not. It comes down to traditionally masculine things being okay, but traditionally feminine things not. In short, girls are rubbish. Can someone please explain this to me? Why is it okay for girls to like and dress up as nails characters but it’s not okay the other way around?

Let them wear whatever they want. I let my kids wear whatever they want. I also tell them never to comment on what other people wear and never to judge people by what they wear. And I model the same behaviour.

Because he's a boy so I prefer not to dress him like a pink, sparkly princess.

As can some parents.

Why on earth would it matter in any way what colours a child wears or whether they dress up as male or female characters?!

Perhaps because there are also, thankfully, great female role models and the characteristics that make a great role models – such as courage, kindness – are nothing whatsoever to do with sex. It's important to encourage children to focus on character, not base their interests, ethics and life choices on sex.

When I was a very little kid I wanted to be Thomas the Tank Engine and insisted on being called Thomas. Lasted about four months. Hasn’t affected me at all but if I’d grown up trans my parents would have been fine with it. As they were decent people.

Let kids be kids, who says boys can’t wear pink? Let them express themselves and love them just as you are doing. Looks like you’re great parents and they’ll love you for it.