Why are people so impatient and nasty?

[Puel]

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

I have to admit im extremely impatient. I work in the aviation industry and people dawdling along in airports or taking up all the space on the travellators so no one can walk past give me the absolute rage! Its all well and good being laid back etc but you still need to be aware of your surroundings and the affect you are having on other people.

I didn't say there was.

There is no excuse for being pig ignorant either but plenty of people are. Just aimlessly floating about the place with no thought to the people they are obstructing.

And yet the majority have agreed with me.

Of course no one should be rude, but it is pig ignorant to just float about the place with not a care about who's way you are obstructing. Manners go two ways and pissing three people off in one shop would suggest OP was lacking in the self awareness we should have in public places.

I think if this was just one incident you could put it down to people being rude.

But given that you're the common denominator in every scenario, you probably need to have a look at your own actions, tbh.

Lacking in self awareness? Pig ignorant? I’d say the latter describes people who expect everyone to behave as they demand. Nasty behaviour, lacking awareness, politeness and a bit of thought for others.

Would you knock me over my walking aid and push me out of your way?

Maybe you need to go to anger management ?

Maybe we don’t want to? Why is you wanting to go slower more important than us wanting to be quick? Simply, it’s not. But if you’re polite and considerate - going a little faster than you’d like to - then the “fast” people are more likely to be the same and accept graciously having to go a little slower than they would like.

I'm well aware of invisibile disabilities (DS has a combination) but the majority of the population doesn't have them. Many people dithering around with no awareness of their surroundings are just being oblivious to the rest of the world without physical or emotional reasons. Headphones and phones have really escalated this in the past 10 years.

I'm polite, I'll wait, say "excuse me" and give the benefit of the doubt but it does make life harder not only planning my own actions, but trying to anticipate the actions of oblivious dawdlers before they've worked out what they're doing. It's draining constantly thinking on behalf of other people.

I know that supermarkets are switching their chillers to ones with doors for costenergy saving reasons, but they're adding to the faffery of trying to get around a supermarket and adding extra obsticles into busy spaces.

The trolley behind could have been too close. Faffing at the post office was taking too long and being oblivious though.

People are free to have a "slower pace of life", just do it in a way that doesn't hold up a queue, block heavily used items in the supermarket, or take up the majority of a pavement so that other people are also free to go about their business at a comfortable pace. It's the bipedal version of middle-lane hogging with a nice clear road ahead of you and wondering why there's a jam behind and so much over/ under taking going on.

Well I agree with the sentiment but you do sound a little like something out of Dixon of Dock Green. That being said, on the rare occasion I have no option than to go round the supermarket with my three, I spend the entire time apologising profusely and people are usually really nice about one or other of us being in someone’s way (which despite best efforts is often the case). Manners do go a long way (not as far as the “military line-up”, which I do when they get rambunctious and entertains them and sometimes those around us too).

I don’t care. I’m not in anyone’s way. The worst that happens is I miss the bus, but I don’t because I’m tracking it on my phone.

Well, that’s the behaviour of a selfish dick. If you’re happy living that way have at it, but that’s on you, not the people who you piss off with your crappy attitude.

Of course I wouldn't knock you over 🙄

I would, however, expect you to walk down one side of the aisle leaving space for people to walk past you. If you just airily floated down the middle, blocking everyone's way and either not caring or not even noticing that you're obstructing everyone who actually needs to get the job done and leave then you would be self absorbed and ignorant.

Like I said, I don't care how slow you want to go, as long as you have the self awareness to not obstruct others who need to get on with it.

When I am in a public space, I am always looking around me, making sure I'm not walking into people or blocking walkways because that is decent behaviour in a public space and how we all rub along together in a shared space. Thinking you can just do what you want, at what speed you want, where you want and fuck everyone else is not the kind of behaviour that makes a cohesive society where we can all share a space together. It sounds like you and the OP are of that self absorbed ilk.

Thank you 🙏 I’m so sick of drippy dawdlers, how can they look at so many different packs of bacon whilst covering the entire shelf with your trolley and body 😫 get what you need and move out of my way, the amount of times I’ve attempted to be ‘polite’ (read slow and drippy) and waited behind people who are looking at numerous packs of cheese for them to then dawdle off without getting anything 🤬 wtf are you looking at?? You need it or you don’t 🤦🏻‍♀️ my time is too important to spend it looking at different food items, we eat because we have to and don’t die, then we match this basic human need to our own affordability and voila that is shopping, not a bloody day out
rant over, maybe 🤣

Of course she’s the common denominator. She’s not going to talk about the times it’s happened to me is she‽..

Fair, but it’s multiple incidents in a short space of time. I can’t remember the last time something similar happened to me.

That said, even if she is daydreaming or dawdling, it’s not acceptable for people to be rude and aggressive towards her.

I was just thinking this the other day.

I live on a side road, just off a main road.

It's easier for me to reverse onto my driveway because some inconsiderate man person likes to park on our narrow street, rather than his own drive.

The amount of people that come flying down the street and don't even attempt to slow down when they see me manoeuvring onto my driveway. They whizz past, narrowly avoiding hitting my car, rather than slow down for 2 seconds and wait for me to finish.

It's beyond infuriating.

With the trolley situation, I'd get a crick in my neck if I tried to manoeuvre out a (reasonably heavy/awkward) trolley and pull it backwards whilst turning my head to check no one was behind me.

Where I live, people wait a yard or so behind the person pulling out the trolley...

If you were daydreaming or not paying attention etc
Then the polite thing to do is say excuse me please, I just need to get here…
Then you’d have said oops sorry jumped out the way and you both carry on with your day with less stress.
The person who pushed in front of queue should have politely said, excuse me you’re next…

So I’m with you OP no matter how much of a rush sometime is in a quick polite ‘excuse me’ doesn’t take much and is a core part of a polite society where we all consider that the person we pass on our day might just have stuff going on and deserves kindness and politeness

Given that op has had so many incidents happen and many of us haven't suggests she is the issue!

This, one impact post a covid infection can be neurological change which impairs empathy. Lots have been infected multiple times, so stands to reason that lack of empathy will increase on a population level. Social media thrives on clickbait and division. There’s lots of finger pointing and othering by politicians and media, cost of living, services hanging on by a thread, people being overstretched and lots more people struggling to cope with health issues.

Did you read what I posted?

I said she shouldn't have to deal with rudeness.

I'm saying it's better to shop later as less people! It's a nicer experience. Less running into said rude people.

You have a zimmer frame so people should be aware of that.

This has made me think that perhaps part of the reason diagnosis of neurodiversity has increased is because the world is so much more difficult for people with neurodiversity now, people need that diagnosis and awareness now more than ever just so people (hopefully) show a bit more kindness, respect and patience. So many people were able to get on ok undiagnosed in past times because the world went at a slower and more gentle pace.

Love him dearly but my partner is dreadful at this. No awareness of the world around him at all and as he's retired dawdles around. In a supermarket he'll park the trolley across a fridge, he steps back into people without it in any way occurring to him to check if there is anyone behind him. It drives me mad so it must be irritating to others!

There’s a reduced section at our local supermarket which gets stocked full of stuff at 6 pm… Charlie Bigham reduced from £10 to £3 sort of thing

There’s always one who will park their trolley sideways so no one else can get a look in until they’ve taken their fill.

Not sure if deliberate or not, but no one says “excuse me” as it might seem “greedy”.