Why are people so impatient and nasty?

[Puel]

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

What about?
Please don’t use other people as emotional punching bag fur your frustration
OR
Shops can be hugely frustrating. The best thing is to modify YOUR behaviour to avoid that frustration. Shopping online or at quieter times (early or late) solves most of those issues.

This.

Ignore this, OP. Who put this poster in charge!

If anyone is blocking the way, all we need to do is ask them to move to the side or say excuse me. There’s no need to be rude. People are getting very snotty and selfish now.

I don’t get out much and use an walking aid so you can imagine I’m very slow. I’ve been shoved out of the way a few times but just take the high road. It says more about them than you when they are rude or laughing at you, OP.

I'm afraid if I were in a hurry or standing behind you trying to keep moving, get a trolley or whatever, I'd be rolling my eyes. You sound very careless of the fact that you're in shared space.

Why are you bumping into people, or dozing in a queue? Some people have busy lives even if you don't.

I’m disabled and it’s exactly because of this type of thing that I haven’t been inside a supermarket for many years. Even though I’d enjoy the chance to go shopping, I’m much too slow for all the snappy people rushing about tripping over my wheelchair and telling me to move out the way. I’m glad online shopping exists but feel sad that I will never be able to shop in person again.

Sounds like you live in Reading.

full of ridiculously rude mutants.

While it may be annoying, what is wrong with a little courtesy eg 'I think it's your turn now/I think there is a cashier free' or 'please can I get by you?'. Makes life much more pleasant. Just as some people are entitled to be in a rush, some people are entitled to take more time. No one is right or wrong.

Yep, there is little care about what’s going on fur the person ‘in the way’. Could be older, ill, having just had a stroke, lost a parent, whatever.

Nope there isn’t one ounce of compassion there - just get out of the way because I’m in a hurry and anyway it’s your fault because ‘you should be more aware of your surroundings’.

Or just say, 'Excuse me, can I get by?'

Sounds like you are day dreaming and unaware most of the time.

The post office reaction would say it definitely wasn’t a few seconds. The fact three people in one day had issue tends to point the finger back at you.

I mean you can go as slow as you want personally but you can’t be holding up lines and blocking fridges/shelfs.

Most people just want to get into the shop / post office get the job done and leave. Also the third person did say excuse me.

I say excuse me but some people will just look blank as if I'm invisible or get arsey, Others will ignore because they are twats.

If you were so zoned out you didn't notice it was your turn, how did you know they'd only been waiting a few seconds?

I do think generally people are unnecessarily rude though. Particularly in examples like the freezer one - people just stand there glaring or push in. Just use your words and say 'excuse me!'

tbh sounds like 50/50 - they were unnecessarily rude but for 3 incidents to happen within 1 trip does suggest you're not very with it.

Pay attention. Have spatial awareness. Stop zoning out in line.

This morning in the DMV, I noticed a wheelchair user next to me and offered his aide my seat so they could be next to each other and the DMV can take a long time.

this, sorry but this

People are rude because while you're zoned out, you're blocking the flow.

Someone more aware would be facilitating the flow by paying attention, moving up when it's their turn, not blocking access to the fridge or moving out of the way when you see someone trying to access it.

People are being rude because you are rude by being a gormless wonder.

So OP, not all, but MANY people piling on, angry that you exist. Now do you see why? It's endemic - esp on MN and AIBU, a great many people are unkind, angry and entitled.

I take your point, but I do think when we're in public, it's our responsibility in shared space to be aware of those around us. To be as dozy as @Puel (for no reason, such as a disability) is as rude as those who rush past. I think both are as bad as each other.

And people who stop at the top or bottom of escalators, or in the archway entrances onto train platforms are just darned rude. No excuse.

Their behaviour says more about them than it does about you. We’re humans not robots. We don’t all run efficiently 100% of the time. We’re allowed to be distracted.
Some people are balls of fury who barge around everywhere. They won’t give you a passing thought. Don’t allow them to take up any of your head space or energy. In future just smile and move out of their way.

There is no excuse in the world for being rude.

Exactly. Things have gone badly wrong socially when people are so wrung out that a couple of seconds delay at a cashier or fridge tips them over the edge. I was thinking only earlier that the amount of running around I have had to do today on my "day off" would have been a week's worth of errands for my grandma. Life is getting more and more demanding and hectic and people are just intolerant and completely unwilling to accept even the most minor inconvenience.

From my experience, some people don’t plan well. If you have a timed appointment and got to other errands which don’t have a scheduled appointment, you don’t do them squeaky bum time. For example I heard a lady scream that she was going to be late for the opticians at a chemist. The nearest opticians are both 5 mins away. The chemist was going to be open for another 5 hours - time of the incident was around 1pm.

If she went to the chemist after the opticians, she wouldn’t had the need to raise her voice and be angry with staff and customers

Then my friend who works some Sundays at a supermarket, always get customers coming in at 3:55pm wanting to do a full shop. The store closes at 4pm. My friend doubts that these people who do this regularly have commitments during the day. They get moaned at by the managers doing a quick walk around the store who ask customers that they are closed. Come in earlier or do shopping on a different day

Another thing. My friend works at the supermarket, when she relieves a colleague, usually as they are going home. 95% of the time, next customer tuts and sighs. One day, the first customer in the queue shouted at my friend “why couldn’t she serve me?” My friend explained to her that the other colleague has just had a phone call from her child’s school saying he has broken his leg. Customer couldn’t think of what to say.

Killing off customers’ whinging like that is like gold dust.

Ok so how do you if someone has a disability? Do they have to use a stick, a walker so that it’s obvious for you to be more accepting?

What about if the person is just recovering from a very pneumonia and is still weak? Not good enough for you to give them some grace?
What about if the person has just lost someone close and theyre not as attentive? Is that unacceptable too then?

Ill tell you my experience.
I have reduced mobility. Now using a wheelchair. If I ever walk (eg shop has steps), I always have a stick. Not because it helps. It doesn’t. It actually makes it harder for me. But because it shows people I have an issue. Otherwise, I’m going at the same speed, doing the same thing and I hear people huffing and puffing. Even though it’s very clear I have reduced mobility.
All because people like you think that if a disability isn’t visible with a a visible apparatus, it doesn’t exist.
And That’s shit.

So no, it’s not ‘just as bad as each other’

The OP only posted once and yet this thread is still going on. What is the point of carrying on telling her how unreasonable she is was?

Not that I disagree that dawdlers are annoying, mind. I either wait, though, or say, ‘Could I get past please?’ No need for rudeness.

I think if you’re going to say that zoning out and daydreaming is a trauma response / coping mechanism to deal with the stress of today’s hectic lifestyles, then you also have to accept that an entire population living these hectic lifestyles will exhibit a variety of different coping mechanisms, some of which may include impatience and irritability.

It’s basically just going to be pretty shit for everyone who has to navigate very crowded spaces in a busy and stressful world, until the sun explodes or we overthrow capitalism or whatever. We all have a responsibility to at least try to be considerate and aware of people around us.

Nobody should be aggressive, passive aggression is incredibly annoying but survivable, dawdling and daydreaming is irritating but inevitable.

Drivers who honk all the time, however, and great big groups of people who take up the whole pavement should be cast out of society forever.