Why are people so impatient and nasty?

[Puel]

Went to supermarket this morning - I always go early so it’s not busy. I was pulling a trolly out and was suddenly shoved from behind and told “watch where you’re going!”. I apologised but obviously didn’t realise someone was stood right behind me but this person was livid, was there really a need to be so angry and aggressive?!

So I’m stood in post office queue, temporarily distracted and didn’t realise the cashier was waiting for me until the person behind me literally barged past me and went in front. I expected the cashier to tell them I was next yet instead, she rolled her eyes and laughed with the pusher. And before anyone says I was daydreaming for hours etc, it was literally a few seconds of not paying attention.

So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!” And looked up to see an angry looking woman rolling her eyes. I moved out of the way and she snapped “I need to be in that fridge!” So I moved again. At this point I felt like abandoning my trolly and just walking out! What is it with people lately?? I’ve noticed an increase in snappy and inpatient behaviour recently, is it the fact that people in this country are just so generally unhappy these days??

So she was really reallly unpleasant because she gave you a dirty look?

Indeed. I've had someone walk into me from behind and say "You need to look where you are going."

I said "You were behind me. I don't have eyes in the back of my head so you need to look where I'm going."

You walked backwards into someone. What were they supposed to do, let you just plow through them.

Whilst I do agree people are more aggressive now you do sound like you are particularly oblivious to your surroundings.

I’m guilty of dawdling. Unfortunately I have to use a Zimmer frame to walk with now so I am very slow. People do get impatient. I try to move to the side to let them pass. The worst one was being poked in the back when queuing for the receptionist at the local outpatients. It took me about 15 seconds to move, so i deserved a poke for being slow. The guy who did it acted surprised when I told him to get off me!

There was so need for such rudeness, but it does sound like you were dawdling on each occasion! Although the third example I can empathise with because I also carry a list and I find it’s difficult to find a place in the supermarket to just pause, look at my list and check things off. I try to be mindful of not standing in high traffic places like the front of the fridge. I also hate it when people dawdle and aren’t mindful of their surroundings. I mean, at the checkout have your card/money ready folks! I do also think it’s quite sad that everyone is in such a rush. You can’t take your time to choose items in the supermarket or someone huffs at you and there is no patience (including from me!) for older people who might be lonely and enjoy a chat with the cashier. I think it’s a combination of things- people are more and more overscheduled these days.

Yes, though there are a few lovely people around, there’s more rudeness and selfishness in general. I restrict my exposure when I can.

So I take comfort from the maxim:

”There are two kinds of people in this world. Avoid both.”

You getting distracted is delaying other people and that’s not fair. They may have been overly rude about it, but life is hard, people are stressed, and you’ve caused them more stress. Get off your phone and pay attention to what you’re doing.

I’m courteous to people around me but by God it takes all my strength to do so when people are in my way and faffing.

It has helped moving out of a city to somewhere far less crowded.

When I lived in a city there were times I felt genuine hatred for huge meandering crowds of tourists, people walking three abreast on a narrow pavement, anyone who felt compelled to continue chatting idly with the cashier after making a purchase when there was a queue of 20 people behind them.

I’m afraid whenever anyone beatifically talks about the pleasures of a ‘slower pace of life’ it really winds me up. I just want to scream how fucking much slower do you want it?? How much slower is it even possible to get for God’s sake??

Fully aware this is a me problem.

I don’t say any of this out loud and I don’t do any tutting or eye rolling or anything like that. I’m just silently brewing a heart attack.

I’ve noticed a big difference in driving where I live. People “need” to go really fast, all the time, if you make them hesitate for even a second they are livid, beeping horns, shouting stuff. (Bearing in mind I’m only on foot or bike.) It’s certainly put me off learning to drive.

I’ve found this so much OP. People being unkind , people driving on my side of the road when they have no right of way and pushing through. Everyone seems out for themselves

IME, the early morning shoppers are quite rigid in their routines. At the one I work in, they queue for opening time and have very set routines of how they do their shop. My guess is you encountered 2 of those. Doesn't excuse their reactions, which were rude and unnecessary when they were more at fault.

The post office one sounds like you should have been more attentive. Not condoning the pushing in and rudeness, but more understandable as post office queues feel 10 times longer than they are anyway.

You were unlucky and it’s not just a recent thing. There’s a reason I keep myself to myself, as people like you’ve described are tricky to deal with. Just make sure you remember the nice ones too, we often have to remind ourselves of the positives. I hope your next trip is better, you’d think it would be! 🤞

I hate people standing too close behind me, especially when removing a trolley.
People are definitely more angry, I don’t really believe all the people who are so busy they can’t wait 2 minutes!
But I often daydream when in queues or waiting for the bus etc. Because it’s boring.

Go as slow as you like, I really don't care. But don't go as slow as you like while taking up the entire space. In a supermarket, when I'm browsing slowly, I ensure I'm keeping well over to one side so that people can get past me. If I get onto a train and I'm nto sure where I want to sit, I take a step further in and to the side so that everyone else can get past if they want to. If I'm getting a trolley, I'm making sure I'm not in the way of everyone else getting a trolley.

Slow is fine. Selish is not.

I also think the digital world is re wiring our brains. Things have to be quick, predictable and impersonal or we can’t cope.

Controversial subject :).
It may be frustrating when you're in a rush, as many people point out, but please don't find excuses to be rude just because you're in a rush. Others aren't. The people who don't rush don't owe the people who rush anything. It costs nothing to be polite, say excuse me, tap on the shoulder , sorry its your turn. Be kind. Pushing, shoving and being rude doesnt get you anywhere. Your blood pressure increases needlessly, your stress levels increase, you end up stressed before your day even begins. When you can avoid all that by just breathing one moment before you snap.
Come on people, live and let live.

Trolley guy may have been too close, or he may have been not too close and OP was obliviously walking backwards with her trolley. 50/50 for who is at fault there.

Post Office guy - we have no idea if OP was daydreaming for 2 seconds or 2 minutes. Given my experience of queuing at a post office, i'd take a punt at the longer time frame, and so i'll go for OP was at fault there.

Fridge lady used the words "excuse me" - op was blocking the fridge reading her list. OP at fault there for me.

Be considerate of others at all times would be a good motto.

“So I’m back doing my shopping and I stopped and quickly checked my list on my phone - I then heard “excuse me!””

I find supermarket shopping extremely tedious and just want to get it over with. The reason for this is mostly down to other people who get in my way. I know it cannot be helped on most occasions as aisles do get really crowded, especially when people have trollers with them. I’m usually in a rush whilst shopping too due to the amount of errands I need to run. BUT there’s nothing I hate more than when I’m trying to get my shopping done as quickly as possible and someone just stops dead in front of me, blocking the aisle and just pauses without looking to see if anyone is behind them or at the side of them. You do sound as though you are blissfully unaware of your surroundings especially if you have come across 3 ‘impatient people’ in such a short space of time. Rarely do I seem to annoy or get any in the way of ‘impatient people’ when I’m out and about so I do feel it is something you may need to pay attention to.

I think this is a general thing where people who are snippy, hurried and impatient are colliding with people who are not very aware, slow and a bit passive.

Yes op. I know what you mean. I had a recent trip to the supermarket and I seemed to get a lot of glares from people who thought I was in their way. It was a horrible experience. I told Dh when I got back home and he seemed to think I must have been doing something wrong. But I don’t think I was. It’s impossible not to occasionally get in peoples way with trolleys in a busy supermarket. There is a certain amount of everyone just has to be patient with each other. It makes for a not very nice world to negotiate

Nothing like this has happened to me, I would say there's one common denominator in those situations op... Maybe your awareness isn't as good as you think it is

People have busy lives. There is no need for them to be rude but I can understand their frustration.

Please try to pay more attention to what's going on around you.

I really hate it when people are standing there for ages right where I need to get to. I say excuse me can I just grab 1 of those and get on my way but it’s frustrating even more so when the shop is busy and I just want to get what I need and get out. As for those that block the isles and treat a trip to the supermarket like a family reunion that’s annoying as well.

And the only answer to that is either to politely say ‘excuse me’. Or to do your shopping online and plan ahead better so none risk becoming your emotional punching bag.

Honestly, the fact you’re in a rush or under pressure isn’t everyone else problem - forcing them to adjust their totally normal behaviour to fit YOU.

The only person we can ever control is us!

Where did I say I was rude to people or even spoke to them?

I'd be really interested in you pointing out my "appalling behaviour"