Ahem! This in a nutshell! Why no self reflection you ask, well...I can tell you exactly why and hear me out before you end word with "nist"
Yes I will receive abuse for this and proballed labelled a misogynist and Narcissistic etc for generalising and labelling whole gender by making it Men vs Woman thing. But woman hardly ever self reflect as they never tale accountability.
I hate the whole gendered argument more anything as we should collectively come to together to address issues early on by being prepared to face the temproary discomfort of short term pain to avoid long term pain. Thus avoiding any potential damage, trauma etc by sitting down and discussing any kind of feelings or problem in mindful and resepct manner which is mutually beneficial to interests of greater good of both and for sake of pertaining to the long term health of a relationship.
To me she is simply now regretting her choice and is looking for someone to validate her escape but is still wanting to seek all the security and financial benefits of the said relationship which continues to make her miserable. If it was a guy doing it, there would be uproar and outrage and calls for the woman to immediately leave the emotionally abusive manipulative freeloader and bogus of a man that is using her.
In my view and experience, Im always self reflecting on impact of my own words and actions and try to do better and have a growth mindset even in face of adversity and my own mistakes. I hope id be given freedom and chance to be heard. Woman are very emotionally selfish. They think Men dont feel what they feel or as intense.
None of us are infalliable but its how you deal with conflict and your emotions that i say it testament to the strength and desire/commitment to work through and overcome problems in relationship is what matters. Not this throwaway culture. Seek to be fair and reasonable by sitting down and at least talk in sincere honest genuine way about things without letting them quietly simmer to avoid resentment and bitterment fester as thats usually the cataylst to kneel slow death of any relationship. This usually develops in those petty snide sarcastic comments as OP is demonstrating because og an unfilled need or desire is not being met either due to incompatibility or not listening to each other's feelings.
This woman sounds selfish. She knew it didnt feel right but still continued to use him. She sounds emotionally immature and he is too good for her. Theres incompatibility in maturity most in part due to her failure to step out of her own feelings and try to dismiss him as overreacting or whatever when she clearly trying to goade him. Then steps into play the victim mentality whenever he gets angry at her essentially accusing with wrly smile of lieing. This would incense me too if I'm being genuine and my intentions are question which are of a good heart. She should know type of person he is rather than playing with his emotions. She is looking for someone to blame rather than take any accountability for impact of their own words or behaviour. She clearly as other commentators has said and by own admission, instead of having mature conversation about her own unhappiness retorts to petty snide comments that quite clearly are design to undermine and erode at the very fabric of poor blokes confidence becsuse of own frustrations. She is 33 and if she is incapable of being fair and reasonable by expressing herself in away without making silly comments, she should the right thing by them both.
Conflict adversion is never good. She clearly knows what she needs to do otherwise she wouldn't be on her seeking validation, but is actively choosing to reap the financial benefits of relationship and have all comforts rather than deal with discomfort of what the relationship facilitates for her.
I get it, they've child to support and it's understandable she is feeling way she feels but women hardly ever take accountability in relationship for their own unhappiness, they want to play the victim.
She should at least compromise if she wants to stay and self reflect on her own words rather wishfully dismissing it as "I'm just sarcastic" as if that's some inertia for a self defense mechanism or personality trait that can't be toned down. It's attitude of her inability to probably talk about her own frustrations. I get it if hes flippant and overreacts to just a playful tease but this feels more like a pattern of behaviour on her part as her way of dealing with it. They're both guilty and if they really care they should both come to mutual beneficial agreement. Like maybe just don't make the comments that are design to antagonise and likely to cause unnecessary tension. That's not masking who you are or having to modify your behaviour. That's called being a reasonable and decent respectful mindful person of other person feelings by possible having foresight to see how your words could hurt.
If OP is too stubborn to realise this, then she is clearly just out for herself. She states it isn't unhealthy or toxic but I'd disagree, neither party is healthy if they're both acting out like this. They need to come together to make each feel heard and make a decision.