To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

[Abdican]

basically DS14 has been suspended for 3 days cos he was caught with a vape at school and I just feel like that’s too harsh for a first time he only had it in his blazer pocket he wasn’t even using it in class or anything it was at break time.

I know vaping isn’t good before anyone says it but loads of kids are doing it and I’d already told him off and taken it off him when I found it before so it feels like he’s getting punished twice. He’s gonna miss lessons and he’s already behind.

I rang the school and they were really rude to me saying they have a zero tolerance policy and if it happens again he could be permanently excluded. I get rules are rules but I don’t think chucking him out for 3 days is going to teach him anything except to sit at home on his Xbox.

sorry long post but I feel like they’re making an example of him cos he’s a bit cheeky in class sometimes. do schools really suspend for this straight away? or am I right to think they’ve gone too far?

3 days suspension is a lot, not sure how missing 3 days of school work is the answer. Would be better to have them in school on those days and for them to spend part of their day researching and preparing a presentation on dangers of vaping. As you say, sitting at home for 3 days teaches teens nothing.

Are there no automatic consequences for him at home? Losing his vape doesn’t count as he wasn’t supposed to have it anyway!

The point of him being suspended is that you’re supposed to have consequences at home that he will have to deal with while he’s not at school.

Vapes have been around for 20 years already

Tell me what these "plenty" are.

So?

So how is a dr friend going to see the difference in the dangers of smoking and vaping. Why haven't they seen it already. With 20 years of history the science is still showing vaping is better then smoking. All these kids vaping would of smoked instead.

You seem rather invested in promoting and defending vapes which makes me wonder if you work for BAT.

Don't forget the government used to send cigarettes (and chocolate) to our soldiers on the front line as a moral booster but now we know better. We already know that inhaling any kind of chemical (that isn't medical, eg asthma inhaler) will never be good for our lungs long term. Vapes are better than cigarettes, but that doesn't make them good and that is something the government and scientists are already aware of. Unfortunately PR from the manufacturers is blurring that.

No way this is a real post.

Disruptive in class? I can imagine lol then found with a vape he sounds like such an angel.

Vaping is supposed to be safer when used to wean smokers off tobacco. They were never intended for young people who had never smoked cigarettes before. Vaping is safer* than smoking cigarettes it is not safer than not smoking at all.

I am referring there to legal vapes bought legally. It is known that criminals operating County Lines start by getting youngsters to sell vapes telling them 'it's not illegal, it's safe' etc. before moving them on to even more serious substances. These vapes are usually illegally made and sold and nobody knows what is in them'. I have little doubt OP's son acquired his through this route.

Edit: I didn't intend all that bold type but can't be bothered now to undo it.

The point is teens have always pushed boundaries. When DS1 was at secondary in the early 2010s, a lot of students smoked cigarettes or weed.

That has now moved on to vaping, which is far safer than both. Of course, in an ideal world teens wouldn’t do any of it, but a degree of pragmatism is needed.

Of course its better to not smoke at all but teenagers will always experiment with different things these teens that are vaping are the exact same teens that would of smoked 20 years ago. Vaping is a safer alternative

I have no idea what bat is obviously vaping isn't good for you iv never said it was. What i am saying is some teenagers will smoke either way so its better for them to vape then smoke. Just like underage sex isn't a good thing but teens will still do it so using a condom is better then not, Taking drugs is bad but weed is better then heroin, drinking alcohol underage is bad but lager is better then spirits. Teenagers will always experiment with things that are illegal and not good for them thats part of growing and learning but if they can do that in the safest way possible thats a good thing.

In terms of something positive that can be done whilst your son is suspended. He can go onto BBC bitesize and find lessons in the subjects he is missing. You don't have to understand any of it, but you can create an environment where he does some learning himself. There are videos/quizzes etc.

I assumed you had some idea, sorry. Lunch time detentions, after school detentions, isolation to name a few. Do you not have any experience of secondary schools?

Yes. If this is the worse a teenager ever does, the parents have been very lucky. 🤷‍♀️

Seriously... He's been vaping and not even for the first time, clearly you (OP) taking it off him didn't work. I'd make sure my son was punished at home as well as at school (also what was your punishment anyway?). No Xbox and I'd want to see his catch up work before he got it back

I understand your point but it's not necessarily safer, vapes have been found laced with spice. And the marketing of them with bright colours, fruity flavours is really toxic, it makes them look harmless to children who may not have touched cigarettes anyway.

I am a teacher and showed a former tutor group the chemicals in vapes after we found children in their year group (year 8!) were vaping in class, including around children with bad asthma. Formaldehyde was one that particularly seemed to put them off

OP that all sounds good - the school has a legal responsibility to provide work for any student that's suspended to complete, so really good if you can preempt this or chase it up. Sorry you're knackered

Op.... you're taking a bit of a kicking here. It's easy to parent, and tell someone they're doing it all wrong, until it's not easy. My youngest of 4 dc's is "challenging" at the moment. Reacting against several bereavements and difficult divorce with my xh (his father).

My ds is 13 and last term he got suspended for 1 day after a vape was found on him. I was already fully involved with the school regarding his behaviour etc etc. I knew he was vaping, and I hate it. He's had minimal amounts of money, so god knows how he's getting them.

While he suspended, and for the rest of that week, he was grounded and his xbox confiscated. I gave him jobs to do, and made sure that I spend time with him.

I hate the vaping. My dm died of COPD 2 years after a lifetime of smoking, she was only a non-smoker for the last 15 years of her after she had brain anueurysms. Also caused by the smoking! Ds did some training with his df and his sister's boyfriend the other night, and apparently his lung capacity was absolutely awful. It has to be the vaping, even though he apparently isn't any more, and it's left me really worried.

Now this is how you do it i remember as a kid the school doing that experiment where the tissue goes brown and shows you what smoking does to lungs. I tell my kids that smoking causes bad skin makes you smell and stunts your growth so far it seems to have worked as far as I know. I think educating and scaring the crap out of them with the dangers can often work well for some kids. I think making them sit in a room and educating them on the dangers is better then a 3 day suspension

Taking it off him was punishment? Then he was found with a second one?
The school is backing you up!
I hate petty detentions and suspensions but I'm with the school on this one

Wow! Too harsh?! Its illegal and he shouldn't be doing it.

Wtf? Your pissed at school for enforcing rules but not at your kid for vaping? Grow a pair and take away the Xbox and actually use this as a learning experience for him. Not as a less on of you're bigger then the rules so you can do what you want.

It’s completely normal to be suspended for being caught with vapes, etc. You say he’s behind at school? Take his Xbox away and get him some workbooks to complete whilst he’s at home. They have them in WH Smith, etc. Get him caught up. Probably while he’s behaving badly in class other children are falling behind too. Do some parenting.