To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

[Abdican]

basically DS14 has been suspended for 3 days cos he was caught with a vape at school and I just feel like that’s too harsh for a first time he only had it in his blazer pocket he wasn’t even using it in class or anything it was at break time.

I know vaping isn’t good before anyone says it but loads of kids are doing it and I’d already told him off and taken it off him when I found it before so it feels like he’s getting punished twice. He’s gonna miss lessons and he’s already behind.

I rang the school and they were really rude to me saying they have a zero tolerance policy and if it happens again he could be permanently excluded. I get rules are rules but I don’t think chucking him out for 3 days is going to teach him anything except to sit at home on his Xbox.

sorry long post but I feel like they’re making an example of him cos he’s a bit cheeky in class sometimes. do schools really suspend for this straight away? or am I right to think they’ve gone too far?

I think it must have depended on what school you went to.
Smoking was a definite and immediate suspension in my school. I left school in the mid nineties.

It's all a bit, yeah but no but

Of course it is if you make it a punishment.

And how do you do that if you work full time so aren't at home all day.

Change the wifi password
Remove the xbox if necessary
Take his phone

etc

It would be the most boring 3 days of his life.

OP doesn't work anyway.

He'd love it sat infront of the tv all day vaping eating and sleeping

Rules are there for a reason, I don't think the school went too far on suspending your son from school for 3 days , as a banned item was taken into school he only had himself to blame no sympathy.

If OP lets him do that then more fool her.

Many people are vaping when they would never have started smoking

Schools have to provide work/links to school work for first 5 days of suspension. Feel he may be lying if he says he hasn’t received any

Nope, school are correct - they're sticking to tjeir policy, which is a sensible one.
As for sitting on his XBOX, isn't it up to you/his other parent to stop him doing that?

Xbox or not, I know many teenagers would be delighted with that outcome.

They already have plenty 🙂

You took a vape off him and he got another one? Doesn't matter if it was from a friend. It doesn't matter that it was in his pocket and he wasn't actually vaping.

It's illegal at his age, and he needs to know that neither you nor the school will tolerate it.

I'd be furious if my gds' school only gave detention for vapes. It's an absolute 'No.' They're illegal for 14-year-olds, they're far more addictive than cigarettes, and they're dangerous.

He's disobeyed school rules and he's disrespected your rules. Three days' suspension seems the least they can do.

No, not "everyone" did. Most of your friends at your school, sure.

'First time' & my little darling....

Grow up, the little shit will have been told and thinks he can get away with anything as mummsy is daft enough to believe it.

Sounds absolutely fair to me
It appears your son might have problems with discipline and following rules.
If the way you sound in your post is how to run things with your son then good luck and all the best for the future!
Youre teaching him to rebel against rules!!

She's a SAHM

Mine wouldn't because I wfh and would have taken all devices off her and she would be sat doing schoolwork from 9am-5pm on her own in silence at the desk next to me

@Abdican did the letter say the suspension was just for vaping or for other behaviour too? You say he is cheeky, could he have been a bit mouthy when caught with vape?

I’m wondering how the teacher managed to see it if “it was only in his pocket”.

I’m also wondering what money a 14 year old manages to buy vapes with.

Finally I’m also wondering why a suspended 14 year old would be spending 3 days away from school playing on XBox when he could be catching up on the work he is behind on.

I have so many questions 😬😳🥴

My daughter certainly wouldn't be spending 3 days on her xbox if she was caught vaping! How about talk to your son about why it's wrong instead of blaming the school who, quite rightly, had to suspend him

I'm with the school. Make sure he understands how serious it is. In decades time we'll know how stupid we are walking into this health issue .

You should take the X box away while he's suspended.

"I’m wondering how the teacher managed to see it if “it was only in his pocket”."

I'm wondering that too. There is probably more to this

Smoking would have been punished by detention rather than suspension when I worked in schools but if you do the crime you do the time and he has to accept that.

I recently saw a doctor and he said in the future we will be able to see how 2 years of vaping is worse than 10 years of smoking. It causes real lasting damage. The throw away line about all the kids doing it makes me think you dont actually think its that bad.

You need to be heavy handed now. No xbox especially when suspended and catch up on work. He can also do the gardening. No going out after school when his mates are out. He needs to learn his place in the pack and so far it sounds like you have shown weak leadership and he isnt respecting you because of it. You got to be strong