To say school went too far suspending him for a vape

[Abdican]

basically DS14 has been suspended for 3 days cos he was caught with a vape at school and I just feel like that’s too harsh for a first time he only had it in his blazer pocket he wasn’t even using it in class or anything it was at break time.

I know vaping isn’t good before anyone says it but loads of kids are doing it and I’d already told him off and taken it off him when I found it before so it feels like he’s getting punished twice. He’s gonna miss lessons and he’s already behind.

I rang the school and they were really rude to me saying they have a zero tolerance policy and if it happens again he could be permanently excluded. I get rules are rules but I don’t think chucking him out for 3 days is going to teach him anything except to sit at home on his Xbox.

sorry long post but I feel like they’re making an example of him cos he’s a bit cheeky in class sometimes. do schools really suspend for this straight away? or am I right to think they’ve gone too far?

You need to parent him and being the bad person is part of being a parent. He’s behind on schoolwork? He’s got 3 days to focus on that and get on with it without his mates being a distraction. No Xbox for a month is what I’d be doing and any cheek or rudeness you double and then triple that! He needs to know his behaviour is not acceptable!!! Not oh dear the school have been over the top!

Whether we're talking about smoking or vaping, the point is the same - it is (objectively and scientifically) more harmful to developing brains and bodies than not doing it, and addiction is a real concern. If you know your child is smoking or vaping, why wouldn't you want to intervene and support schools in their efforts? That's the crux of this thread.

Of course he should have been suspended. Of course you should support the school. Of course he shouldn't be on x box while suspended. Hth.

Even if that's true, it doesn't mean that school should have to put up with it. Stick to the rules or get suspended, it's usually made very clear with things such as smoking/vaping, alcohol and drugs.

There’s a lot of evidence that proves vaping is harmful. Saying it’s better than smoking is like saying, having a stroke is better than a heart attack.

I doubt it was just in his blazer pocket, how would the teacher have known? I don’t think he’s given you the full story here OP.

I wonder, and just musing here, if schools see that there is clearly no discipline going on at home, that they ‘up’ theirs. And the reverse.

Take away his Xbox and tell him he’s not having it back until he shows some respect to his teachers. Cheeky kids are mind numbingly boring and the fact he’s carrying a vape around after you spoke to him shows he has zero respect for you. Instead of making inane excuses for him try some straight talking.

I can believe it to be true. At the secondary school I worked at in the mid 90s a fair amount did have a packet of fags on them. You could walk into a classroom after break and smell the fag smoke on them.

Well, you have to have an equally applied behaviour policy. It's clear.
It's fairly standard in all secondary schools re: vaping. They're caught with a vape, they're suspended.
Perhaps on lower level matters, eg not having equipment, you'd let someone off if they were a first offender, it's true. Not vaping though.

They reek of vape now, various sickly sweet smells. Sometimes cannabis

Schools are required to set work for students who are suspended - he can do this and not be on his Xbox. He can also use the time to get on the many free websites out there and watch tutorials to catch up on the learning he is behind on.

You are minimising your son’s behaviour. Most children are not cheeky. Most children follow the rules and most parents are supportive.
If your son plays on his XBox whilst suspended then that is on your you. It sounds like you are passing on the responsibility of parenting your son with clear boundaries to someone else. If you don’t sort this now you will be in real trouble in a couple of years.

Because suspension isnt a punishment they would be better giving him detention

Tobacco is tobacco, we don't know what is in the vapes. They should be discouraged from doing either.

Ffs you can’t seriously be comparing a child eating a bar of chocolate with vaping?? 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

"Everyone's doing it". "It's not just me".

Those age-old arguments for not being punished when you break rules, eh?

Parent your child and take his X Box away. Make the suspension have an IMPACT on him.

In what way were they rude?
You took one off him. He got another. So that didn't work.
What would you say was a reasonable sanction?
Doesn't matter if he doesn't smash windows etc as that's not why he's been suspended
If the policy is 3 days that's what it is

If you can think of other, legal methods that schools haven't thought of so far, do drop them a line.

My son's school has a zero tolerance on vapes, smoking and drugs. Automatic suspension for several day, for vaping/smoking. The policy your son's school has is standard, across a good proportion of secondary schools. Personally, I don't think it's harsh, it will teach your son a lesson, follow the rules. A girl at my son's secondary school brought in weed, a small amount, she was permanently excluded. Ask the school if they can provide you with work for your son for the days he's off, and remove the Xbox.

I will email them to see if they can send stuff home cos otherwise he will just sit there bored

Don’t do that. Your child’s teachers should not have to prepare work children can complete without having teacher input first. Nor should anyone have to try and coordinate between the different subject teachers overnight so that you don’t have to bother making him do chores or find any other work for him.

"and I can’t exactly sit and do algebra with him cos I don’t even understand it myself"

Why did you have children in the first place?

Ours did detention lunchtime and after school and litter picking thats a much better punishment then letting someone stay home for 3 days

Of course they should be discouraged no one is encouraging kids to smoke or vape but at the same time let a child stay at home for 3 days isnt a punishment

The idea of a suspension is twofold. Firstly, it gives the school - the teachers, and above all, other students, a break from that student's behaviour.
Secondly, it makes the parent aware of a serious problem that they have to engage with. They're inconvenienced, the child is at home, they have to attend a readmittance meeting.
Believe me, many parents who have been somewhat laissez faire in their approach to parenting, often step up after this.