AIBU to think my American neighbour is taking this too far?

[MelaniaLovesLemon]

She’s already invited us to Thanksgiving (yes, in September) and has given me a little to-do list...
Bring a casserole, make miniature turkeys out of whole walnuts(?), and have something prepared to say about what we’re thankful for, and I need to bring my own chair. She’s quirky, loud and brash with a weird husband, and has a habit of turning up unannounced with crazy schemes.

Recently she came for an aperitif in our cute garden, and practically inhaled the entire tin of prawn cocktail Pringles that I was saving for my DS and then simply helped herself to another glass of wine without asking, apparently she wants that wine for the dinner?

Another time she invited me round at 9am to taste test three different types of stuffing, for the Thanksgiving. I could not possibly eat all that at 9am!

I don’t know if I’m being rude thinking this is all a bit much?

The turkey walnut thing is hilarious!

What a lovely opportunity to go absolutely batshit OTT.
Rent a costume- dress up as a turkey!
https://www.amazon.co.uk/AerWo-Thanksgiving-Inflatable-Turkey-Costume/dp/B0F8NQ8NZC?source=ps-sl-shoppingads-lpcontext&ref_=fplfs&psc=1&smid=A2KVF7QXNCLV8H

She sounds ace. A bit much, maybe, but I wouldn't have a problem with someone helping themselves to wine if we were sharing, or eating crisps, or asking me to have a mouthful of three different stuffings.

I think you could jazz it up a bit. It would be far funnier to pretend to have misunderstood, get the paints out and to turn up with an array of birds. Penguins and robins for beginners, parrots, bluebirds and ducks for those with a bit of painting experience and peacocks for anyone who owns a glue gun and knows how to use it!

Also you're the poshest person I know. Aperitif? Your neighbours regularly drop round for aperitifs that are posher than Pringles?

Amazing.

At Christmas they make walnuts out of turkeys. Fact.

You could say no ....it's an invitation not something compulsory!

I am baffled...

So your evening soiree/candle light supper - did she charge into the kitchen, dive into fridge or cupboard for the wine and fill her glass without a word?

Or was the wine out, ready to fill peoples glasses?

Did she cupboard dive to find the pringles then shoot the whole tube down her neck - or were they out on the side (I assume as you're obviously extremely posh, fanned out on a platter).

Did you tell her the pringles were for one specific person? Did she hear this, nod in agreement then smash her way through the lot anyway?

Also I have to ask... do you have room for a pony?

Yank here. It's customary in the US for Thanksgiving guests to bring something for the meal. I'm going to by brother's house, and we're bringing all of the appetizers, the mashed potatoes and possibly a pie. For a guest who is not a family member the expectations are much lower. A dessert or a bottle of wine would be plenty.

Your neighbor's expectations are over the top and would be considered cheeky here, given that you're not related to her.

This sounds like a sitcom, I'd love to live next door to her

Ok... why would a snack not meant for her be placed where she could have it? Once a snack is offered, or placed where someone could reasonably assume it is being offered, you cannot as a host police how much they have. That's rude. If you didn't want her to eat pringles they shouldn't have been out. Nor is letting a guest's wine glass go empty ok if you're hosting. (And I'd put a caveat here that it's different if you're really hard up and can only afford one bottle of wine to share or whatever, but in that case I either wouldn't invite anyone for wine or would only invite someone I was close enough to for them to get that resources are tight and that they need to bring their own!).

With the wulnuts and other thanksgiving stuff... well no this invite wouldn't be for me and I'd find her demands annoying. But you've said yes! You've taken the wulnuts! Why would you do that if you didn't want to participate and help out?

I'm howling at some of the responses are here! 😂
Hyacinth Bucket crossed with Margot Leadbetter I'd say.

Be aware that if you do go, a casserole isn't what it is here, i.e. a beef stew.

Casserole is pretty much anything baked in a dish - pasta bake, baked veggies, sweet potato, basically anything mixed and baked - it might be worth clarifying her expectations - It won't be chicken chasseur.. my American friend brings 'casserole' to ours and it can be anything from a weird tinned green bean situation, to what I would call broccoli pasta bake..

I’d love to be invited to a Thanksgiving dinner! But if you think you won’t enjoy it, or find it too much work, or you find your neighbour too quirky and loud, then just say no. Use your words. You could say ‘no’ to stuffing tasting too. Just. Say. No.

Haven’t RTFT so apologies if someone has already suggested this, but I think you should offer to take an English trifle as made by Rachel on Friends!

Walnut turkeys sound the most fun part tbh. I’m not keen on loud and brash, and the thought of sweet potatoes and marshmallows together makes me heave.

In what way is her husband weird? Is he British or American? Does this American have a TikTok account at all? There are a few American in the uk that I follow and I’d love to be invited to their thanksgivings.

She’s clearly a little unhinged. It would be kind to play along until the dinner but keep boundaries in place too

Not sure why it posted twice.

MN is glitching so badly because of these bloomin ads!

She sounds free, crazy and social. As I don't have female friendships in the town I live, horrible bourgeous SE England, I would take anything from this woman and will laugh my heart out in the process.

The aperitif update is the funniest thing yet. So you invite people to your house but there's some sort of unwritten rule that they are NOT to eat the food you put out and NOT to drink the wine you have out. They are meant to... look at it. In a posh fashion.

(To be fair, I am technically American so maybe I just don't get it)

Native Americans don't find anything to be thankful for. They fed the starving settlers, who went on to carry out genocide against them and to steal their land.

For those who aren’t impressed by walnut turkeys (and who would be), I give you chocolate strawberry turkeys. I wouldn’t use them as an aperitif, sadly.

https://www.tasteofhome.com/recipes/chocolate-covered-strawberry-turkeys-recipe/

Oh, god the American Casserole.

A classic is 'TaterTots' (frozen croquettes of reconstituted potato) in a dish with tinned soup poured over. And cheese on top.

However a woman who cares about stuffing and makes her own is probably planning a feast of home cooked and wholesome food.