AIBU to think my American neighbour is taking this too far?

[MelaniaLovesLemon]

She’s already invited us to Thanksgiving (yes, in September) and has given me a little to-do list...
Bring a casserole, make miniature turkeys out of whole walnuts(?), and have something prepared to say about what we’re thankful for, and I need to bring my own chair. She’s quirky, loud and brash with a weird husband, and has a habit of turning up unannounced with crazy schemes.

Recently she came for an aperitif in our cute garden, and practically inhaled the entire tin of prawn cocktail Pringles that I was saving for my DS and then simply helped herself to another glass of wine without asking, apparently she wants that wine for the dinner?

Another time she invited me round at 9am to taste test three different types of stuffing, for the Thanksgiving. I could not possibly eat all that at 9am!

I don’t know if I’m being rude thinking this is all a bit much?

Lord, I give thanks that the haemerrhoid I thought would be the size of one of these walnut turkeys by now has actually shrunk.

She sounds fun!

Maybe bonfires too? Are you Mary, Mary quite contrary?

Thanksgiving is American Christmas. Ie, its A BIG DEAL. You've been invited to a Friendsgiving, where everyone brings a dish or 2... youre on the inside now!

She likes you and she's invited you. Sounds like you dont like her, fair enough, dont go then, but dont mock her!

If you do go, good luck with sweet potato mash with marshmallows. 🤮 and you will absolutely be expected to hold hands with those next to you and say what you're grateful for.

Happy Thanksgiving!

An aperitif guest leaving behind walnuts and a Thanksgiving checklist was a new one on me.

I try to put on a show with an aperitif, usually it’s champagne or Sancerre, gougères and a bit of smoked salmon, you get the picture. Which is why the sight of someone hoovering up DS’s Pringles felt so very off.

? Did you mean to say this out loud?

I am sure it will be lovely, but... all the lists, and questions and reminders makes me think she is going to be some sort of 'Turkeyzilla'

I made cranberry sauce from scratch one year and got quite a few good-natured objections. The canned sauce with the indentations is a childhood memory for a lot of folks, and they like to see it on the table. Besides, it does work better on a turkey sandwich the next day.

Pumpkin pie is my favorite pie (actually my favorite fall aka autumn-winter pie). My favorite spring-summer pie is Key lime pie. Another popular Thanksgiving pie is Kentucky Bourbon pie which is a chocolate pecan pie laced with Bourbon.

As for mashed potatoes, yes, this is often part of the meal, but less so in the South where I'm from. But sweet potatoes are almost always present.

I think it sounds great!

My neighbour is Muslim and I am Jewish and we frequently exchange festival (or just random!) food! It’s amazing how both of our food traditions involve frying She is a much better cook than me embarrassingly and her food is so good. We only swap vegetarian food and I tend to bake rather than cook so she makes amazing curries and appetisers and I do bread/deserts like rugelach (sweet and savoury), honey cake, and obviously challah. We both have air fryers so swap fried stuff that can be reheated like samosas and latkes.

We have been doing it for a good few years and it is lovely, especially with everything going on in the world right now, it feels even more meaningful.

and I would also pass on pumpkin pie which is revolting.

We've not yet encountered one any of us like.

https://www.tastinghistory.com/recipes/pumpkincheesecake
^^ This however is great and we now make every year at Halloween.

I cross posted with this and now I think please don’t go! For their sake.

Savoury ruggalach!! I've only ever made sweet ones... this is exciting.

Also as a Jew, smoked salmon is not “putting on a show” it’s basically essential to even a low key gathering, so I’m a bit embarrassed for you saying that. Fremdschamen.

This is how I feel too. Everyone complains that there's a lack of community and everything's dull and grey now. Here you have a great example of an old fashioned crackpot living next door - make the most of it!

I have seen posts on here for people already doing Christmas planning. Thanksgiving is of similar (or greater) importance to Americans. She is being normal in planning ahead (Indeed, she will have to in order to get a turkey at that time of year) and is probably excited to share this tradition with others.

Sounds like you stepped into a sit com!. My kids made walnut & acorn Turkey's at preschool. Probably still go them somewhere. 🦃

Why did you put them out? And also not offer more wine to guests whose glasses were empty? Cheese puffs are okay.
I agree about the list for Thanksgiving.

Thanksgiving is the best thing about the US .I loved it when we lived there .Just go and have fun.
A tub of Pringles and a glass of wine is nothing to lose sleep about.what do you normally give your guests

In answer to your question - yes, you're being a bit rude.

I assume you're in the UK? Your neighbor is obviously very excited to share her upcoming Thanksgiving holiday with you. I think that is lovely. It's certainly not too early to plan. I'm already planning my menu.

The walnut turkeys sound cute (maybe not as cute as your garden), but if you don't want to do them is there anything stopping you just saying to her that crafts aren't really your thing or you won't have time? As for the rest of it, it is completely normal to ask guests to bring a dish and to specify what kind of dish. If she doesn't have enough chairs for all the guests then of course she will have to borrow them from somewhere. Would you rather stand for the meal?

I think that the fact that she warned you in advance that people might be asked to say what they're thankful for is very thoughtful, knowing that you might not have expected this. It doesn't always happen at Thanksgiving meals, but it's a lovely tradition, especially when kids are involved.

She liked the wine you served in your garden enough that she thinks it would be good with Thanksgiving dinner. How can you possibly take offence at that?

She invited you to taste three types of stuffing? What on earth is wrong with that? She's excited about it and wants you to be involved. Could you really not have eaten three mouthfuls just because it was 9am?

Quite frankly, she sounds like a much better host and a lot more fun and less uptight than you do. If I have friends over for drinks I'm happy for them to refill their glasses (although I try to be quick enough myself so that they don't have to) and eat the snacks I've provided without monitoring who's eating what.

I think you're very lucky to be invited to this meal give that you sound completely ungrateful - the opposite of what the holiday is about.

Oh yes! Lots of different types of cheese/onion/spinach/olives etc. I think I’ve done pastrami and mustard too. I just use a dry filling not wet so it doesn’t go all leaky.

Just say no OP. It’s hardly a tricky one. No thanks, we’re not free. End of.

One of my sil's offered me either cheese, ham or chicken slices in a sandwich. I decided to go with the chicken slices as I don't normally buy them. Dd2 (who was at work) then told me off later for having the chicken slices as sil had wanted to take them to work the next day! (He is muslim so can't eat ham)

This.

My husband s always slightly heartbroken that I make my own cranberry sauce instead of having the tinned stuff.

Pumpkin, tinned or not, is foul, but sweet potato pie is fabulous.

My niece has a pumpkin recipe:

hollow out a pumpkin, fill with beer and four kinds of cheese (she’s from Wisconsin, so can’t help it). Roast for two hours, and you have cheese and beer soup. Whether you’d want it or not, who can say.

And I have another: cut a lid in the top of a pumpkin, and hollow the pumpkin out. Cut a hole in the front, towards the bottom. Remove the bag of wine from its box, shove in the pumpkin with the tap through the hole. Replace lid. Drink whilst hiding from trick or treaters, neighbours, Americans, etc.

I'm American and this would be over the top for even the most die-hard Thanksgiving fans.
Walnut turkeys? You must be winding us up. Thats not a thing. Although my MIL did used to make little cornucopias filled with M&Ms that were always a treat for the kids while the adults had cocktails.