Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

And are you for signing up to be the police are you? How are you going to determine if someone has invisible disabilities with a look? Future career as a pip assessor awaits you!

In an ideal world these spaces would only be used for their intended purpose. But it's not an ideal world and there's no law around the use of these spaces.

Some people will seem to use them inappropriately, but they may have valid reasons why they need a larger space or need to park closer to the shop, you just never know.

It's just not worth upsetting yourself over, as you will get a lot of this over the coming years.

It's all needless rage.
I'm guessing if you were getting baby into car seat you failed to pull in the door close to your back and it was sticking out into the next bay.
Also guessing that you had them waiting for some time.
Who knows.
But your response about her own child was needless. Shit happens. Doesn't mean you have to throw shit back.

Yes why not go back to horse and carts and to hell with progress!
safety has come on since the good ole days with seatbelts etc , larger cars and proper car seats which need effort to strap kids into to keep them safer.

My eldest is in his late 30s. I had proper car seats that took effort to strap him in to from the day I took him home from the hospital.

I'm not just talking about p&c...no headphones bring used, feet on seats, just general disregard for others. In the OPs example, the other user could have just waited for thirty seconds or had her kid get out the other side. I have an autistic child. Not everything is always about SEN. A lot of the time people are just impatient, selfish dicks but we've all become far too scared of reprisals to do anything. I do challenge the examples above.. occasionally I get a fuck off but usually people comply. The long thread on the social contract breaking down is interesting and relevant. The OP was using the space precisely as intended. The other person should have just waited a moment.

sounds like you just made up rules about who should be using them. if it says parent and child then anyone under 16 is a child regardless of their ability - it could be because kids pay less attention to incoming or moving cars and it’s just safer to park in spaces closer to the entrance as a result and it’s not exclusive to needing a wider space to get in and out. stop picking fights esp when other kids are in sight why would you want to put kids through witnessing an argument? get a life seriously.

Yabu. A baby is easy to manage as they don't move and run compared to a primary school child in car parks. I wish they'd put parent and child car parking at the back of the car park away from the doors and most of the other cars. However it's a kind thing shops offer as it's not a legal requirement.

I have never seen anyone using a parent and child space with a young baby randomly pull the car door in right behind their back, if I had the ability to do that the child would be strapped in and I wouldn’t need to be in that position at all. I’m not risking dropping my baby to one handedly pull a car door into my back, what an odd thing to say.

Same for me

Why on earth couldn’t the wait? Sensible to teach them manners.

No, there isn't a UK law mandating specific rules for parent and child parking spaces in supermarkets. These car parks are private land, and the rules are set and enforced by the landowner or the private parking company they employ, not by the government. Misusing a parent and child bay isn't illegal but can result in a £100 Parking Charge Notice (PCN) for breaking the private parking rules.

Not sure why you got some irritated responses to this post @PlaceIntheClouds . This is the truth, if the rule is under 12s then nobody has the right to say otherwise..however she could have just waited. I think maybe op you are just stressed since you do have young kids and you snapped which is understandable. However if her child is under 12 then she has.just as much right to be there (annoyingly). Saying this as a mother of a 2 year old. She was rude though!

These spaces cause nothing but trouble, I see them as a privilege and not a right as I believe that’s what they are, rules are rules but there’s no need to be impatient if you can clearly see someone struggling.

Nonsense our morrisons clearly says TODDLER and they have pictures of bloody prams. You don't need that bay with someone who a few years later could be driving themselves around!!!

Because legally up until the age of 12 they have to be in a car seat! And just because this child was able to get out the the seat by herself it doesn't mean that they'd be able to safely get themselves strapped into the car seat!

Yeah I have always parked at the back of beyond at every supermarket car park I visit. It's a running joke in my family. I get more steps in and no one parks near me.

It's kind of courtesy to pull your car seat in behind you. But then again I have children who are old enough that there weren't child spaces when they were babies and well as children who are young enough that I used them. I also have a blue badge myself.
The general courtesy is that you pull your car door in towards you so you take up as little space as possible!

I'd have just told her to fuck off. Your DC is too young to understand.

seize

She sounds like a horrible, selfish, angry and impatient person. When my 12 year old was young enough for me to use P&C spots, it pissed me off no end to see vans and Range Rovers in them, with no child seats.

Sometimes, there would be a mam (or even a dad) getting a baby in, next to a space I wanted. I just pulled up and waited for the few seconds it took to let them finish. I was going shopping, not rushing to A&E with a heart attack victim.

Even if there seemed to be space, a pram could roll, or a small child wander into the parking spot. You were very much not being unreasonable, she very much was and was needlessly nasty, to boot.

All of the people slating you are similarly arrogant, selfish and self entitled as the angry, impatient driver you described.

The issue with car seats including the high back booster is that they have sides on them. If you have a small 10 or even 12 year old they have to climb into the seat, to be able to slide in requires the door to open further. I would rather use a p&c space to ensure neither my car or the one next to me got damaged even if my child was trying to take care.

However, with a child 6+ they can be taught to wait and be patient if someone next door is getting their own child in or out.

Agree and the kid is growing up to be the same by the sounds of it.

Oh right so the mother and child in this situation are just misusing the space (despite being within the probable age range for them) but you being neither parent or child are fine to use them? What double standards!

Just read this and whilst I'm pleased Meadowhall are clamping down, this bit has thrown me a bit:

Q) Can a customer with a Blue Badge (Disability Badge) park in a Parent & Child Bay?
A) The terms and conditions of use are: The bays are only for use by people with children under the age of 5, arriving with the child on board and the authorised Parent & Child parking permit is on display.
The bays are not for use by Blue Badge holders, however, if a Blue Badge holder arrives with a child under 5 on board, they can apply for Parent & Child Permit, which must be displayed when parking in the Parent & Child Bay.
Q) If a customer is accompanied by a child over the age of 5 years, with a physical or neurodiverse condition/disability, can they apply for a permit to park in a Parent & Child Bay?
A) The terms and conditions of use are that the bays are only for people with children under the age of 5, and the child is on board at the time of parking.

Meadowhall disabled bays are like gold dust. We've never been able to get in a disabled bay when we need one.

I know Meadowhall car parks are private land and they can set whatever rules they like, but it seems baffling that a non-disabled 4 year old takes priority over a disabled 6 year old based on age and not need.

I think the word you wanted in this instance was “no”. Or to be more polite, “I’ll just be a minute”.

You didn’t have to close your door just because she asked you to!

Perhaps she was within her rights to park there, I don’t know, but not to ask you to close you door so her child could get out quicker - the child could have climbed over to another seat if they were in such a rush.

If pps say they are for under 12s then I’m in no position to contradict them, but no way on earth would I park in one with my 11 yo - it’s a laughable idea that, barring disability, this would be needed for a child who is at other times independently getting to school on trams and buses!

I always thought they were for people with under 5s - I’d sooner they were extended to pregnant women and the elderly than older children but perhaps that’s just me!