Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

Why couldn't the child get out the other side of the car or am I being thick?

These spaces are not just for young children, they are for all paresis with children up to around 12. It’s so they can get out more safely and stand next to the car, and be closer to the shop so they don’t have to walk across the car park. The supermarket (and then other drivers) also have less risk as there aren’t loads of primary aged children potentially running around the car park (especially a problem where lots of cars are reversing and may not see a smaller child). Maybe you’ll understand this more as your children get older.

The other parent should not have spoken to you like that though or expected you to get out of her way. I always wait if parents are getting kids in and out of car seats, as it’s polite and I’m not sure what else you expect them to do if their child is halfway strapped in! It’s very rude to expect someone to stop what they are doing and get out of your way.

I think you were both rude so I think you got what you both deserved tbh. Try and let it go, carrying this amount of stress with you all this time isn't good for you.

They shouldn't have 'rushed' you, but really all this 'precious asset' and '3-month-old' makes you come across as a bit of a knob. Having a baby doesn't make you special.

Yup. That's me. Disabled but not able to have a disabled badge. So shoot me. Yes I will park on the far side of the parking lot if that's my only option even if it means hobbling a long way. Strange that people with unruly older children don't think of parking away from other cars when that's an option.

But you don’t know that that parent and child don’t need the space any less than you do. Surely if you are using spaces not meant for you for a good reason you should be able to see that others are too and not just brush them off as rude or refer to a child as a ‘brat’ or are you the only disabled person without a badge in the entire universe?

My 7 year old has a car seat still, and needs the door quite wide to get in and out. I think it’s fair as long as they’re in car seats, P and C is used.

I just have a mental image of the OP literally "juggling" a baby, car seat and nappy bag.

I would be staring in awe at that spectacle

'Of course' - when the sign literally says they are for parents and children up to the age of 12. Making up a rule and then saying 'of course' doesn't make it true. The rules are the rules whether you agree with them or not. I'm not in the least embarrassed about using something that was available to me within the rules of the scheme. Same as I'm not embarrassed about buying a discounted loaf of bread even if I have a decent salary, and don't feel the need to leave it for someone who might need it more just because someone else may think that should be the 'rules' for discounted food.

How on earth do you know that the woman and child didn’t need that space??

Extremely presumptuous and entitled of you.

My nephew is 10-can jump out of the car but actually needs those spaces because he is dyspraxic and things can wrong very quickly.

you park in a public car park and then complain about others parking in a public car park

but people choose to have kids it is a lifestyle choice no one chooses to be disabled surely a disabled person needs the space more then a parent

I get your frustration. Sometimes the spaces are used even by people with no kids…
I’ve been using it with my child until he turned around 4 (lots of tantrums and difficult to deal with). Now he’s 5 and we park at the regular spots.

How is this related to the thread at all, this isn’t a hierarchy, the spaces are for people with young children. That’s like seeing spaces reserved for a particular employee and saying well I’m disabled, this is a lifestyle choice for that employee to have that job.

I think this is a very good point. Parking spaces are too small for modern cars which makes going anywhere stressful. Which then increases demand for the spaces.

I have 3 kids youngest is 5 with ASD, I use the parent spaces still and will do until I feel youngest is more danger aware (yesterday child ran in to the road). I still feel my need is higher than people with no kids, but acknowledge someone with a baby would be annoyed if I took the last space.

Noticed recently that the Amazon food delivery cars use the parent and child places. Supermarkets should ban them from doing so.

You’re right - those spaces are for people with pushchairs and car seats. Once all kids can get in/out on their own you can use the main car park

Oh give over. You know exactly what she meant.

In our local Tesco parent and child spaces are a free for all..

They’re nothing like today’s car seat. My husband has photos of him in an infant carrier from that era and it looks like a glorified laundry basket.

Car seats like crumple zones are far bigger, and children are expected to stay in them for longer.

Do you not understand the word wait? Ffs

I think you're wrong on this point op, though I am supportive of your general position. If someone has a disability, even a temporary one, that "trumps" the convenience of p&c. I can imagine someone on crutches for instance, needing more space. They wouldn't have a blue badge but need the features of a p&c. This isn't so much about who uses them as how..if the woman in your scenario had just waited as minute there'd have been no issue. It's about manners and tolerance rather than priority.

At least they had a child in the car. I’ve taken to loudly exclaiming “cute kid” at the lone drivers pulling into those spaces with no kid in sight.

Yeah but some of us use them as an adjustment for disabilities.

One photo doesn’t sum up a whole era. Our car seats looked very similar to the car seats of today. Regardless of size or shape, you still needed to secure the child in the seat in the same manner as today with a 5 point fastening and I can’t actually remember being able to use the seatbelt as can be done nowadays as it was securing the seat in place. No rotating base which makes things easier nowadays. Unless you have actually had to use car seats decades apart, you are not in a strong position to comment on something you have not used.

it sounds like you are referring to a carry cot and not a car seats.

Same as this. We had an infant seat until he was 12 or 15 months it was rated to (I even had a travel system - a MacLaren Superdreamer!).

Then admittedly he went FF - but the car seat went in the middle. Between the two seats. It came from kwik fit and had straps that were permanently attached that went through the back to fixed anchor bolts in the boot. And then he had a five point harness in that seat.

He then moved to a high back booster at about 3.5/4. And then a booster seat. Which he used til about 7 or so.

His younger sisters were in boosters longer but other than that and not RF him we definitely used car seats that were the best available at the time.

It’s not conjecture that car seats (and cars) are bigger - they just are!

I can guarantee your 1990 seat looks nowhere like a 2025 extended rear facing seat where you have to somehow get a child around a door that opens in a different direction to how the seat faces.