Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

one day, when if your baby turns out to have SN and you are faced with a 12 year old autistic runner, you may appreciate this space. Someone with a baby can easily park further away and push the pram. It's not so easy with some older children. You really need to wind your neck in and mind your own business.

The most irritating experience I had was when a family of adults parked in the space, when I questioned them, one the lady told me that she was her older parents child! She was in her 30s I reckon. They were subcontinental but I don’t think it was a genuine misunderstanding 🤣

I still think people with primary school age children are entitled to use them. I get where you are coming from with the car seats, but I think you will feel differently when your children are slightly older

The older child could have easily climbed over and got out the other door. Then neither party would have been inconvenienced.

Even if the child had extra needs, unless they were literally about to vomit, the courteous thing to do is wait patiently for the person already using the space you’ve just pulled in next to.

Seems patronising to assume that families with disabled or ND children don’t have two minutes to spare to show kindness to other parents. How do they know the baby doesn’t have a disability? Oh wait, they just assumed because they were being rude and entitled. (Ignorant perhaps)

I’ve never understood why these parent and child spaces aren’t further away from the entrance.

If supermarkets just moved them to the very far end of the car park it would solve the problem!! Parents of small children don’t need to be close to the entrance there’s nothing wrong with their legs they just need the extra width 🙄

Legally under 12 in England

Getting blue badge is not easy. I know someone who has hemiplegia and can't get a blue badge because theyre active and don't need a wheelchair 100% of the time. They still struggle to get in and out of a car in regular spaces.

Spaces are available for 12 years and younger. Why is 12 the limit because the age of 12 is the legal requirement for a child to use an appropriate car seat or booster seat so you obviously need more space to open the door fully.

If you spoke like that to me and my autistic kids I would be quite upset. We use these spaces.

Just because 12 is the max age does not mean you should use these spaces when you do not need to. I stopped using them long before my children turned 12, because I know other people need them more. What’s even more annoying is when an adult parks up than when alone. Generally so their precious car doesn’t get scratched. God forbid they just parked at far end of car park and walked.

Yabu @seize

I have 3 children

2 oldest i dont use P&C spaces when only with them for many years now

Youngest is 8. Perfectly physically able (as apparently thats your criteria) and also mentally able - could probably do the shopping on his own

But i use the P&C spaces with him as his ADHD ASD means that I cant trust (through no ill intent on his part) that he won't just fling his door open and hit the car next to him

So yes I would inconvenience you and take a space i am well in my right to rather than pay for car damage.

And dont even start with the "you could help him.... you could tell him when to open it... my child listens to me.... you are a bad parent with no discipline ...." tone deaf malarkey that's banded about AIBU when it comes to SEN.

I'd be raging. This type of selfish behaviour and the lack of empathy seen everywhere makes my blood boil. As you had accommodated her for essentially no reason I'd be unhinged if I was with babies and tired. But it achieves nothing. People won't change for you. Just do not lower yourself to such shit human standards. You won't beat the middle-aged man in an suv with his tween son who took the last parent park in a tricky and busy car park. Where I am from the parks are for parents with prams only. I was exhausted and the misogynistic pig told me to f off, among other expletives, as his car was too big to fit in any other park. That was after I'd asked if he'd forgotten his baby that day. What a great example to his son of how to be a prick with a small prick. I was shaking, raging, upset.... It achieved nothing.

Right? That's what I thought too. The issue here is that the woman was rude and inconsiderate. The age of her child has nothing to do with it - she's fully entitled to park there. She just could have been more considerate.

I know what you mean OP I would have been annoyed but I wouldn’t have said anything. There is such a lack of patience these days.

I have juggled the baby and baby gear many times. I’ve seen these spots being taken advantage of by many and the one that stands out is a 2-seater car blasting music and two adult men jumped out without a care in the world.

I have a 3 year old now and never park in those spots. DC doesn’t sit in the stroller anymore so I feel these spots are for parents that need it with baby gear as I did in the early stages.

How did OP accommodate her? From what she’s said, she didn’t respond to being asked to pull her door to.

there was no accommodating.

It’s to ensure that they can get to the store safely. Most of our local spaces have a pathway for easy transit to the shop entrance. Suitably sized parking spaces is only part of the benefit of parent and child parking spaces.

She was interrupted. But irrelevant to my point, being, the woman was a dick.

It's safety of passage.

Agree however, if they were further away and a safe path to the store it would be fine. But we can't design them like that for various reasons, inclusivity for one.

🤣 she got asked to pull her door to. Yeah, if I was the woman I’d have just waited, but OP ignored her and then gave her a dirty look.

not sure it’s the woman who was the dick.

What on earth did we do before baby and child parking spaces.

Oh yes - had to park far away so we didn't get someone park right next to us and couldn't open our doors wide enough and just got on with it!

But why not? So much anti social behaviour now goes unchecked because if that attitude. If we all judged and policed just a little bit more maybe people wouldn't be such inconsiderate wankers.

Agreed.

And with due respect, you don't know if that child has SEN and that Mum knows she has approx 5 minutes to be in and out whilst that kid is in a good mood before all hell breaks out.

I didn’t have a pram, I had a baby carrier and had been wearing my baby. I was strapping the baby into the car seat when asked to stop for them. Stop trying to make everything a fight against your specific situation, not everything is about you.

Agree OP , you should only use these spaces if the child needs help fastening seatbelt /needs pram etc. I remember needing those spaces with 3 young children so would hate to take up a space when someone else needed it!!

I can hazard a guess that in that very specific situation you wouldn’t go out of your way to call a stranger ignorant and start a fight, all while ignoring the child you’re there with and not keeping an eye on them in a car park.