Snapped in the parent and child parking

[seize]

Juggling my 3 month old from their baby carrier trying to get them into the car seat, a car pulls in and asks me to close my door, while I’m halfway into getting my baby in their seat.

Out hops a child in school uniform about 10 years old, not help needing any help to get out, my face must have had an expression of surprise. Someone in need of this space being asked to stop what they’re doing to allow someone not in need of the space to use it. The adult said “ignorant” loudly at me. So I snapped back, “these spaces are for people with babies and children that need help getting in and out, they aren’t for older children” she snaps something back at me about not knowing how old their child is (the one that is in school uniform, fairly tall, that needed no help getting out and is now safely stood in a car park without the adult needing to have them in their line of sight) and the bratty child screams “yeah!”.

I’ve had it with these spaces, they aren’t a convenience for people that happen to have a person under the age of 16 with them. They’re for people who genuinely need the help getting them in and out and need the extra space.

Exactly.

Exactly. And I’m sure many of today’s parents would be shocked to realise that you also had to fold down your pram/buggy to get on a bus and had to store it in the compartment under the stairs. 😆

Both as bad
they shouldn’t have asked you to close the door, you shouldn’t get all arsey they were using the space correctly (with a child).

Not one single shred of shame about using the spaces according to the rules set out for them, no. I don't think anyone should have and if other people impose their own rules on it - well that's up to them.

YANBU. The kid could have waited 30 seconds

No, it’s a situation where you are within your rights to call them ignorant.

My kids are 12, 10 and 8 and I still use the spaces myself. Firstly, cause my 10 year old is autistic and has the tendency to fling the door open so the wider space is definitely less risky and 2 I wouldn't trust my 8 year old to leave my side in a busy place. If I was with my 12 year old I wouldn't use it as he's absolutely not in need of it anymore. However having said all that, it does go up to age 12 but regardless of age of the kid, it's just decency to not harass a parent clearly trying to get an infant into their seats. I've pulled in before and happily sat and waited whilst the car next to me loaded their children in, before we attempted to get out as I'm not a entitled ar$e. I was loading my 8 year old in yesterday who still needs help with buckles etc and a woman pulled in next to me with a fancy car, childless in the car, no car seats present and used the space to sit and have a smoke. Now that gets right on my nerves.

Them “ignorant”
You “that’s not a nice thing to call your child”

It could be a completely empty car park, and you park at the far end as far away from the store as you can get, at an hour where the shop is close to empty. And when you come out, I guarantee there is a car next to you.

I think what needs to be remembered is P and C spaces are provided as a courtesy. They are handy if one is free but they aren’t a need and they have no legal standing.

For some parents they seem to have created some sort of helplessness where they think they can’t park unless they have one. They then make it into a stress for themselves worrying about the spaces and who else dares to use one.

If a space is free great use it. If not park elsewhere.

Parent and child spaces are wider to allow for the door to be fully opened to access and fasten a baby in to a seat... but they needed you to close your door so they could access the space? Or just so the kid could open their door (next to your open door) and get out?

why could that older kid not use the other back door?

not nitpicking... genuinely curious that somebody could potentially not have inconvenienced themselves ever so slightly in order to not inconvenience you at all.

some people are just knobs. The less time you spend being bothered by them the better.

Why shouldn’t she be using the space? Did the car park specify that there was a younger age limit than the age you have assumed this child is?

no one tried to stop you, stop being so theatrical. They asked if you could pull your door in a bit, you could have said ‘won’t be a sec’ and carried on about your day. Instead you ignored them and then gave an arsey look when someone you deem too old to use the space got out.
I can only imagine it’s been a slow day, because you’ve gotten yourself ever so worked up over a non issue.

@seize. You need the space if you have a passenger that needs help with their seatbelt, generally by 8 most dc can do this but some dc with Sen can struggle into adulthood but getting blue badges is a nightmare (or in our case the care company has mislaid it!)

All parent and child spaces I have seen have plenty space for opening car doors so if they were unable to open theirs properly was it because you were parked too close to the other space?

I mean I personally don’t have an opinion on whether someone should or shouldn’t use the parent and child’s spaces based on child’s age but I do have an opinion on rude people who can not wait a few minutes longer while you are strapping your child into their car seat. Impatience at its finest. I’m glad you didn’t stop what you were doing.

At that sort of age, my daughter still legally needed a car seat. She was able to get out of it independently, but needed help securing the seatbelt properly when getting back in again. Yes, she is ND, but she was also sensible enough not to go running off or hurling herself in front of cars in a car park, so I could take my eyes off her and she would be ok. Don't assume that being a certain age means they don't need help getting back into the car without adult assistance & don't assume that all ND kids require constant eyes-on supervision.
YABU. Parents/grandparents of older children who still need help getting safely strapped into a car have just as much right to a parent & child space as you do, and if you are blocking access to a P&C space, they also have the right to ask you to move to allow them into the space or out of their car if you are in the way. If you need more time to ensure your little one is safe, just ask them to wait for a minute.
You're not at that stage yet, but once your children are a bit older you might have a better understanding of why parents of older children still need to use P&C spaces. You didn't have the right to snap at someone when you had no idea of their situation. That was rude & I can understand why she snapped back.

If your youngest child is almost 12 then of course those spaces are not for you and you should be bloody embarrassed.

Must admit I actually thought the spaces were called ‘parent and baby’ spaces. Not parent and child.

OP was there first, they can damn well wait.

On my view rhey are reserved for people with a baby or child that needs help getting in and out of their seat. Once children can do themselves and safely then these very few yet in demand spaces should be kept for those who need them.

the only proviso I would say is a lone person (esp female) going to the shops very late at night to be safe, should plenty be available.

Oh well. You must have to navigate regular spaces sometimes anyway?

Because an under 12 doesn't have the executive functioning to not slam their door into the side of the neighbouring car when they lean on it to get out.

Those spaces are for 12 and under I think.

I think that it’s ok for all people with children under 12 in my opinion. I think you’re making it a bit of a competition. Try not to get annoyed so easily. Don’t judge families.

However the amount of times I see single people and older couples using them that winds me up!!

What a fuss over nothing. Regardless of what you think (and a lot of others on this thread), they were as entitled to use the parking space as you were unless there was a sign up stating that it was for under 5s etc which you have not mentioned. Given where the parking spaces are generally located (as close to the store as possible and normally have a path to the store), they are not just there for getting in and out of the car, but getting from the car to the store and back as safely as possible. Have a google to see what each supermarket has to say about the parking spaces.

If people stopped fighting fire with fire, the world would be a much better place.