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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It’s not suddenly all the kids, it’s the new teacher.

249 replies

jollyoldjo · 23/09/2025 14:14

DD has just gone into year 4 and has a new teacher.

They had the same teacher for the last 2 years and she was very nice and also had lovely teachers before her.

We are still in the first month of a new year with the new teacher who’s new to the school and quite young so at a guess newly qualified and suddenly all of the children are misbehaving but were fine with other teachers, she keeps them back 15 minutes every day for poor behaviour, this is decided on the day without notice but it’s been every day and that’s the whole class.

A more experienced teacher is taking the class for a week next week to sort out the behaviour.

I regularly help out on school trips and they’re not bad kids and they haven’t all suddenly developed behavioural issues they just have no respect for this particular teacher.
AIBU to think she has no control over the class and it seems because she isn’t coping she’s retaliating against the children by being an absolute jobs worth?

We’ve had multiple letters out explaining they’ve all missed breaks and not done PE etc because of poor behaviour and by keeping them an extra 15 minutes she is making herself very unpopular by leaving parents standing outside in the empty playground while she punishes the children and parents.
I have a child in the same school in year 6 who has walked home and got changed while I’m still waiting in the playground for dd to come out at supposedly the same finish time, we’ve never had this before.
Other children and their siblings have places to be after school.

AIBU to think if as early as September, 30 kids and their parents are hoping they don’t have this teacher again next year then it’s not the kids it’s the teacher?

OP posts:
Teachingagain · 23/09/2025 14:16

I would wait and see what happens next week but the next time she applied whole class sanctions or cancels your child’s break time I would make an appointment with the headteacher.

Lougle · 23/09/2025 14:19

She's trying to establish her authority. It shouldn't matter if the children respect her. She's their teacher! They should behave because they've been told to. They've had 4 years at the school, so they know what correct behaviour is. Support the teacher. As long as she isn't picking on a particular child, she's just doing her best.

Whole class punishment isn't a great technique, but haven't you ever made a bad decision as a parent, then felt like you had to follow through because if you didn't, it would be worse?

Have some empathy. There's no way I'd want to teach 25-30 8 year olds!

BriefEncountersOfTheThirdKind · 23/09/2025 14:22

Keeping primary school kids 15 minutes after class isn't acceptable

But if you express any of the similar attitude to here, that this teacher is naive and a problem, you're going to influence your DD not to have respect for them

LegoPicnic · 23/09/2025 14:24

Have some empathy. There's no way I'd want to teach 25-30 8 year olds!

Then presumably you wouldn’t choose a job where that is required?

Sharptonguedwoman · 23/09/2025 14:24

So have you spoken to your child about their own behaviour? Are they adding to the problem or sitting quietly?

Abominableday · 23/09/2025 14:25

Every teacher has had to be a new teacher once.

NorthSouthEast · 23/09/2025 14:26

Missing breaks and PE seem like daft strategies. You need to give children a break from the classroom and a chance to run off energy to help them behave better surely?

Ablondiebutagoody · 23/09/2025 14:27

The teacher can only learn this stuff by going through it and will most likely be much better next year. Waiting 15 mins is no big deal in my view. Its not a popularity contest with parents. When I was teaching, I wouldn't have given a crap what you thought.

CatHairEveryWhereNow · 23/09/2025 14:29

Other children and their siblings have places to be after school.

Has anyone said this to her or put it in writing? If you have and it's still causing issues I'd go to the HT and put in writting the delayed end of school day is causing issues.

There a few times when DC were younger that a late finish with no warning just would not have worked fo us due to paid for swimming lessons other kids and parent needing to be somewhere and I'd have been one of those parents grabbing my kids anyway.

Class discpline - well I image the school is aware and trying to support the teacher and it may be kids ages as much as her.

YodasHairyButt · 23/09/2025 14:30

If they have no respect for her and are playing up, how do you think she should address this if not with consequences for poor behaviour? Perhaps the parents should be backing the teacher up and having a chat with their children?

Delphox · 23/09/2025 14:31

I'm surprised after school detentions are part of the behaviour management poicy at your primary school.

Whole class punishments are unfair and ineffective. I would complain.

Original poster
jollyoldjo · 23/09/2025 14:31

Sharptonguedwoman · 23/09/2025 14:24

So have you spoken to your child about their own behaviour? Are they adding to the problem or sitting quietly?

She doesn’t know why they’ve been kept behind or missed breaks or PE just that the whole class have and always do.
The letters (well messages) explaining they’ve been kept behind or missed such and such always say it’s a few and well done to the ones who do behave.
I know it’s expected that all parents will say ‘not my child’ but I know my dd has always been praised for her good behaviour.

OP posts:
Original poster
jollyoldjo · 23/09/2025 14:34

Abominableday · 23/09/2025 14:25

Every teacher has had to be a new teacher once.

I do understand that and there’s been many a new teacher at the school and they’ve been wonderful

OP posts:
Gymrabbit · 23/09/2025 14:34

As a teacher of 20 years I am completely against collective punishments and I don’t believe that in this class every child is misbehaving.

Having said that you need to consider that maybe this teacher has stricter rules than the ones before and the children are not doing what they are told. For example a colleague of mine lets the class wander around as they choose, I do not so it seems that I have more behaviour issues but it’s easy not to have issues with behaviour if you are permissive.

Sharptonguedwoman · 23/09/2025 14:36

jollyoldjo · 23/09/2025 14:31

She doesn’t know why they’ve been kept behind or missed breaks or PE just that the whole class have and always do.
The letters (well messages) explaining they’ve been kept behind or missed such and such always say it’s a few and well done to the ones who do behave.
I know it’s expected that all parents will say ‘not my child’ but I know my dd has always been praised for her good behaviour.

Show quote history

Then that is hard and your DD should be praised for her behaviour. I would give it a week or two and see how things go. If the class is the same 30 children from last year who behaved well with the previous teacher then that's one issue and is possibly due to different expectations and an inexperienced teacher.

If there's been a big shake up and the class has gained some children who behave badly then that's a different problem and one it might be worth seeing the head about. Good luck OP.

BettysRoasties · 23/09/2025 14:36

Very rarely is it an entire class and since the entire class were fine the last two years, yes it’s the teacher. But if she’s brand newly qualified this is part of the teething issues.

Id just be talking to my own child and remaining them to be polite and behaved.

Possibly pop the office an email about constant letting out late and that we make plans around school hours to not disrupt learning so id appreciate if they could do the same and issue punishments on their own time. Secondary would be different.

Saz12 · 23/09/2025 14:38

If the teacher is punishing all for the behavior of a few, that's not good.
Obviously im not sitting watching, but perhaps she has higher expectations of behavior than previous teacher, or is setting more formal (less fun!) tasks? It might not just be that previous teachers were fantastic and she is terrible.

Han86 · 23/09/2025 14:38

The fact messages have been sent out about missing PE and break makes me feel that the school are very much behind this new teacher and supporting her.
Working in a school it is quite surprising how children will behave for one adult and not for another. At this point in the year as a TA I am still using the line 'I will wait' with my phonics group who are testing boundaries and chatting over me which I will not accept. I have also kept them back for time at the start of break.
The fact you say the children weren't like this last year tells me that they are very much playing up for the new teacher which is not ok. It sounds like they don't have much choice other than to miss out fun activities if the class are choosing not to listen. I would like to think there are some positives going on too - so even in my phonics group I look for the children making good choices to give a sticker too. Does this teacher give our dojos, house points or whatever your school uses for good behaviour as well?

Ncforthiscms · 23/09/2025 14:39

I'd be sending a message to the senior team to say my child should
1.not miss break time or PE as a punishment as its counter productive and children need to move (more so if they are being disruptive)
2 Come out of school at the correct time as I do not give permission for them to ge kept outside school hours (I go to collect at a 2nd school so it's impossible for me, but equally swim lessons etc shouldn't be disrupted).

Foxyloxy89 · 23/09/2025 14:40

Delphox · 23/09/2025 14:31

I'm surprised after school detentions are part of the behaviour management poicy at your primary school.

Whole class punishments are unfair and ineffective. I would complain.

As an experienced primary school teacher, I completely agree with this.

TansySorrel · 23/09/2025 14:40

It's probably due to inexperience. It sounds like she's being supported by the other teachers
As she keeps them behind 15 mins every day can you just turn up 15 minutes later? They can't really complain about you being late if the kids are coming out at that time every day. You could notify the school you are going to do this

Macaroni46 · 23/09/2025 14:44

Year 4 is notorious for when behaviour deteriorates. However, keeping children behind after the end of school is not acceptable. I’d speak with the head but be supportive and constructive rather than just critical.

Bingbangboo · 23/09/2025 14:45

I could have written this post about my daughter's teacher last year. How likely is it that a class of 30 suddenly collectively go off the rails? It was ridiculous. My daughter is generally one of the quieter, more studious ones and has very rarely ever been told off in school before. Suddenly they were losing break times several times a week and coming out late every afternoon. The only effect it had on my daughter is that she quickly realised there was no point in trying her best or following the rules as she was being punished anyway.

WhamBamThankU · 23/09/2025 14:46

The kids are probably being arseholes because they can sense she’s a newer qualified teacher/younger.

MadisonMarieParksValetta · 23/09/2025 14:47

Is this even allowed? I'd be taking my child home at home time.