Tried three places for lunch today and none cater for women

[Mrsmunchofmunchington]

I went out for lunch today with a friend.
Well, at least we tried to have lunch.
All three places, two pubs and one cafe, were not suitable for women because you needed a penis to get into them or to use the toilet.
We ended up coming back to my home instead.

AIBU to think that everywhere should offer equal service to women?
Or is it my fault for not checking in advance that I could eat there without a penis?
Should I have researched on tripadvisor?
Am I too entitled expecting businesses to ensure non penis having people can pay to eat lunch at their establishment?

Day in the life of a disabled person.

I struggle to use stairs and use two walking sticks to get around. I can only go to restaurants where I can park outside, possibly using my blue badge.

So, even after researching the location to make sure it is suitable for me, it’s surprising how many places have the toilets up or down stairs which are inaccessible to me. I now have to phone first to check.

I understand your frustration but surely you can understand that not everywhere can be made accessible to all. Surely it's no big thing to call ahead and check? It would save you a lot of time and effort, and it might make some venues more aware of the need for improved access.

My first thought

So the answer is to close all those that aren't accessible to all, no matter what their disability? Or to charge much higher prices to pay for huge alterations or new premises? Saying we will all experience disability is very misleading and the disability could be something like a broken arm. We don't all need access to everywhere all of the time.

Whatever you thought etc. it was a clear as mud. Maybe stick to the story and forget the obscure analogies.

Why shouldn't disabled people have access to everywhere like other people?

😆

I get your frustration but I'm sure you can also see that providing a wheel chair accessible toilet isn't always possible as there may not be sufficient space, or the changes necessary would breach building regulations which are very strict with respect to fire and hygiene considerations, or the business may not have the financial capacity to make major changes.

It isn't though. Women are not the minority, at all. So it's a crap metaphor.
I'm disabled and, fortunately, we are very much in the minority. Britain is leaps and bounds ahead of most countries for disabled access, although obviously improving all the time and still a long way to go.
It is foolish to not plan in advance, if going out for a meal as a disabled person. This is why there are parking advantages, discounts etc etc. Being disabled is no fun at all, so leeways are given to lessen the difficulty. For the entire country to be "accessible" is unrealistic, and we need to be realistic.

It’s a great analogy OP. People on here just don’t want to understand just how hard it is not to be able to access so many places.
There is no good reason that the vast majority of places can’t properly make their businesses accessible. Even the likes of listed buildings absolutely can make far more of an effort to make their buildings more accessible. The reality is there isn’t the will to do it. Which is shocking. No doubt I will be shouted down and told not to be ridiculous. But I’m not. Where there is a will there is often a way. The technology is there and some truly difficult buildings have been made to be accessible. The sad reality is that people just don’t get it unless they themselves have been affected by just how shocking accessibility is.

It was very clear what you were trying to say.
I’m confused that so many didn’t get it.

Such a weird post to make a very tangential point.

id have a lot more empathy if I had come in to this post knowing wtf you were aiming to discuss

For the reasons I suggested - it's just not practical. In an ideal world, everybody would have access to everything, regardless of ability, finances, location, education, height, weight, ethnicity, religion etc. But it's not an ideal world. In case you hadn't noticed, not all 'other people' have access to everywhere.

You clever person. I had no idea

We have magical technology like the internet, and phones, so we can check if the places we would like to go suit our needs.

Super clever analogy.

message certainly got through to me.

it truly IS disgraceful tbh. I don’t know what the solution is as some venues don’t have space for a proper toilet. Accessibility should be mandatory though!

So….by this logic, every single restaurant/ cafe in a non accessible building should be instantly shut down? Or should the government destroy old/ listed buildings?

If places are able to make things wheelchair accessible then by law they have to. If they can’t, they can’t.

and sometimes the place claims it is wheelchair accessible or someone on the phone does and fails to mention the 3 steps down to the 'accessible' toilet which means it isn't actually accessible at all.

Or they do have an accessible toilet which is level and you think 'great!' until you get there and it is so tiny you can barely squeeze in a child's wheelchair so an adults wheelchair certainly isn't getting in.

That is awful.

I thought access was enshrined in law.

Last week I got on a bus. I stood back to allow the lady in the wheelchair to get on the bus before me. She said "no point, there's already a chair on there"

She had to wait another 30 mins for the next bus a wheelchair user had taken the one place earlier in the route.

I spent a long time thinking what a terrible way to treat people, but concluded there was little I could do to change it.

I'm sorry you had such a terrible experience today @Mrsmunchofmunchington

Approx 1.5% of the population use a wheelchair. If places can accommodate they should. But if they can’t, what are you suggesting?

Clearly I have hugely over estimated people’s understanding.

No, you over-estimated the clarity of your original post. You could have made your point much more strongly without the attempt at analogy.

That's ridiculous. Why go on about women and penises?? Just say disability. Do you have a problem with this? Or were you trying to attract more interest to the post by using a completely different word, and meaning? FFS

If you spoke in riddles in the cafes I'm not surprised you couldn't be accommodated

But were they very old buildings which would make it impossible to install an accessible toilet?

People didnt understand the analogy because your opening post is poorly written. It isn't clear that there is an analogy to understand at all.

As it is, since you have clarified your post I wholeheartedly understand your frustration and outrage.